we're okay!
that's right, my young jeezy musical library has expanded beyond go getta (though that's obviously still the best one).
so today went from incredibly shitty to pretty awesome rather quickly.....college stuff, work, apologizing to chris's parents, more college stuff.
to expand:
college stuff. i didn't go to orientation (probably a bad move [probably = definitely] but it was the principal of it....why should i pay $300 to go to orientation when i'm already paying $23,000 to go to school [i = my parents]? my stubbornness and 'take a passive stand against injustices'-ness may not serve me well but i keep doing it) so i basically have no idea what the fuck is going on. ewwww the very grossest bug just showed up on my desk right after my mom left! i put tupperware on it but i can't do much else. perfect example to illustrate my point. bug taken care of, thank you mother. anyway my parents have kinda left this college stuff to me but the problem is i can't do ANYTHING for myself especially when it involves organization and understanding complex systems, which basically sums up registering for college. i have to register for classes tomorrow at 8 am (yes, 8 in the MORNING) which added to the suckiness but i didn't know how to do anything. the stressed out process that eventually led to my vague grasp of the situation is uninteresting, but for those of you who have never registered for college classes, you have to pick your classes and then make sure that those classes as well as the adjoining discussion classes required for some of them don't conflict (having done this, the request sounds pretty reasonable but this morning HOLY SHIT i was lost). combine this with the fact that most people have already signed up for classes so you need to coordinate all of your first/second/third choice classes so they still don't conflict and it's basically the antonym of my natural way of thinking. thank god for adderall. there was all kinds of other confusing shit that stressed me out just in time for work.
work. i haven't gotten my life together to go searching for another job now that i'm back from europe as i told myself i would so it's still just rims and goggles. i'm doing data entry and it's dull confusing boring. dull and boring i can take, but it's confusing so i can't let my mind wander. shit! i left work at 7, went to the market, talked to my mom, tried to waste time until chris told me i could come over....
to apologize to his parents. for what? my details will be sparing. i had to apologize for getting caught in their son's bed not once....NOT TWICE...but THREE times. i'm an idiot. we, are idiots. actually so much for sparing details sorta cause i'd like to share just how stupid we are cause it's kinda funny. before i left for europe chris had a barbeque/camp-out thing...i opted for chris's bed with chris instead. didn't think they would find out but his parents came in that morning. oops. very awkward until i left but i thought, at least i'm leaving for three weeks, maybe they will forget entirely by the time i'm back. i saw each of his parents individually for under a minute each and then....it's about 3 or 4 in the morning and chris and i are asleep in his bed....and in walks his mom. they let me slide but chris got some awkward talks and i vowed i'd never return. then, maybe THREE OR FOUR DAYS later, chris invites me in just to watch a movie. i hadn't returned, as i said i wouldn't, or seen his parents since the 3-or-4 am run-in, but i figured since it was midnight and they were asleep i might as well. then we were tired so i said, let's just lay down in your bed for a little while! and then we fell asleep. and then his mom came in. there was yelling, door-slamming, jackie wanting to kill herself, and total complete full absolute mortification. at least i was wearing clothes that time. to break down just how much of a slut they must think i am, they barely know me and then have the sleep-over incident, followed by basically the next interaction being the indecent exposure run-in, followed by literally the next interaction being The Catastrophe. fucking kill me. as much as i just wanted to never, ever, EVER go over again, i knew that wasn't the most mature route and knew i had to apologize...so i went over and chris basically had to drag me into the house and then i apologized and they were very nice to me and we talked about it for a while. the whole thing would have been a lot easier had it not entirely to do with my physical relationship with their youngest son. tiiiiiiight. i thanked them for not hating me....really they must be pretty nice because aside from the fact that chris adores me i haven't given them ANY REASON AT ALL to like me. i tried to dress classy for the occasion. a word of advice: don't break someone else's rules. then you have to apolgize and it's the scariest thing in the world. it was all significantly more mortifying/horrifying than that but i decided to be just the slightest bit tasteful in my selection of detail. just the slightest bit. ignoring the good parts, i went home and continued with
college stuff. i finally understood enough to make my first/second/third choice classes, and all of them are 5 credits so i'm only taking 3. 3 classes! isn't that WEIRD?! but the minimum is like....12 or 15 or something...and the maximum is 19, so i'm taking 15 credits. don't want to overwhelm myself. it's crazy though, i feel like i'm doing something wrong. but i'm not. based on the schedule though (whichever one i get) i definitely won't be drowning in free time. the whole thing still scares the shit out of me so i just won't think about it, other than when i have to, and fucking SHIT most of my friends are leaving in like 3 weeks.
so if you take a look at the landmark events of my day, keeping in mind that all the college stuff could not be LESS of my forte and therefore stresses me out because my mom's mind works the same as mine and my dad is in southern california so his assistance is limited, and that i'm terrified of adults, looks like a pretty shitty day. and it kinda was. but there were good parts! such good parts! things really turned around!
first of all, i can go camping because mac is no longer going to tahoe. tahoe is like the most fun in the entire world as i mention every time i go. gorgeous house with gracious hosts? lake? JETSKI? entire bunkhouse for ourselves, plus alcohol and jacuzzi? it's working for me. anyway i was disappointed about not getting that but it meant i could go camping, which is AMAZING, and i invited mac to come with me there! so many exciting topics related to this, where should i begin. now we might get to tahoe on monday! for like 3 or 4 days! which means we would get to do BOTH! holy fucking shit. it might not happen but even still, the other exciting news...i invited chris to go camping with us too (third bed strike seemed to kill all chances) and for some insane reason his parents are letting him go! he asked before i even came over and apologized (is he crazy?) and his dad said yes and that it sounded fun. and then post-apology we all talked about it and they're totally fine with it for some weird reason. sooooo exciting!!!! chris just better not get in trouble and then not get to go because then i will kill him.
chris. sigh. he makes me so happy. post-apology we were on his street at my car and just like. i don't even really know what to say exactly. he feels like my little secret because this is the least i've ever shared with other people about our relationship. and not because it's boring or i've already done it, i think it's because i've never been left with so few questions before. it's a reeeeally good thing. i just feel protected. and comfortable. and secure which was seriously the most unimaginable thing to me. i feel so lucky, and it's so hard to say goodbye to him, and i know that no guy has ever cared about me as much as he does. it gives me value in myself that i know isn't conditional. puppies of the same litter. it's nice not to worry.
also my gorgeous neighbor is dating minnie driver?
and ALSO, in case i needed MORE to look forward to, solina and her friends are going to visit me finally! i am deffffffinitely looking forward to that.
this is the first night i've really spent 'in' in a while, other then harry potter obviously, even though i got a very tempting invitation to caitlin's house, but i have to wake up early. puke. anyway maybe going out all the time is the reason i never update anymore. i think yes. so it's good to get this done.
i have to wake up in 5 hours. wish me luck getting the classes i want and not killing myself from stress!
so today went from incredibly shitty to pretty awesome rather quickly.....college stuff, work, apologizing to chris's parents, more college stuff.
to expand:
college stuff. i didn't go to orientation (probably a bad move [probably = definitely] but it was the principal of it....why should i pay $300 to go to orientation when i'm already paying $23,000 to go to school [i = my parents]? my stubbornness and 'take a passive stand against injustices'-ness may not serve me well but i keep doing it) so i basically have no idea what the fuck is going on. ewwww the very grossest bug just showed up on my desk right after my mom left! i put tupperware on it but i can't do much else. perfect example to illustrate my point. bug taken care of, thank you mother. anyway my parents have kinda left this college stuff to me but the problem is i can't do ANYTHING for myself especially when it involves organization and understanding complex systems, which basically sums up registering for college. i have to register for classes tomorrow at 8 am (yes, 8 in the MORNING) which added to the suckiness but i didn't know how to do anything. the stressed out process that eventually led to my vague grasp of the situation is uninteresting, but for those of you who have never registered for college classes, you have to pick your classes and then make sure that those classes as well as the adjoining discussion classes required for some of them don't conflict (having done this, the request sounds pretty reasonable but this morning HOLY SHIT i was lost). combine this with the fact that most people have already signed up for classes so you need to coordinate all of your first/second/third choice classes so they still don't conflict and it's basically the antonym of my natural way of thinking. thank god for adderall. there was all kinds of other confusing shit that stressed me out just in time for work.
work. i haven't gotten my life together to go searching for another job now that i'm back from europe as i told myself i would so it's still just rims and goggles. i'm doing data entry and it's dull confusing boring. dull and boring i can take, but it's confusing so i can't let my mind wander. shit! i left work at 7, went to the market, talked to my mom, tried to waste time until chris told me i could come over....
to apologize to his parents. for what? my details will be sparing. i had to apologize for getting caught in their son's bed not once....NOT TWICE...but THREE times. i'm an idiot. we, are idiots. actually so much for sparing details sorta cause i'd like to share just how stupid we are cause it's kinda funny. before i left for europe chris had a barbeque/camp-out thing...i opted for chris's bed with chris instead. didn't think they would find out but his parents came in that morning. oops. very awkward until i left but i thought, at least i'm leaving for three weeks, maybe they will forget entirely by the time i'm back. i saw each of his parents individually for under a minute each and then....it's about 3 or 4 in the morning and chris and i are asleep in his bed....and in walks his mom. they let me slide but chris got some awkward talks and i vowed i'd never return. then, maybe THREE OR FOUR DAYS later, chris invites me in just to watch a movie. i hadn't returned, as i said i wouldn't, or seen his parents since the 3-or-4 am run-in, but i figured since it was midnight and they were asleep i might as well. then we were tired so i said, let's just lay down in your bed for a little while! and then we fell asleep. and then his mom came in. there was yelling, door-slamming, jackie wanting to kill herself, and total complete full absolute mortification. at least i was wearing clothes that time. to break down just how much of a slut they must think i am, they barely know me and then have the sleep-over incident, followed by basically the next interaction being the indecent exposure run-in, followed by literally the next interaction being The Catastrophe. fucking kill me. as much as i just wanted to never, ever, EVER go over again, i knew that wasn't the most mature route and knew i had to apologize...so i went over and chris basically had to drag me into the house and then i apologized and they were very nice to me and we talked about it for a while. the whole thing would have been a lot easier had it not entirely to do with my physical relationship with their youngest son. tiiiiiiight. i thanked them for not hating me....really they must be pretty nice because aside from the fact that chris adores me i haven't given them ANY REASON AT ALL to like me. i tried to dress classy for the occasion. a word of advice: don't break someone else's rules. then you have to apolgize and it's the scariest thing in the world. it was all significantly more mortifying/horrifying than that but i decided to be just the slightest bit tasteful in my selection of detail. just the slightest bit. ignoring the good parts, i went home and continued with
college stuff. i finally understood enough to make my first/second/third choice classes, and all of them are 5 credits so i'm only taking 3. 3 classes! isn't that WEIRD?! but the minimum is like....12 or 15 or something...and the maximum is 19, so i'm taking 15 credits. don't want to overwhelm myself. it's crazy though, i feel like i'm doing something wrong. but i'm not. based on the schedule though (whichever one i get) i definitely won't be drowning in free time. the whole thing still scares the shit out of me so i just won't think about it, other than when i have to, and fucking SHIT most of my friends are leaving in like 3 weeks.
so if you take a look at the landmark events of my day, keeping in mind that all the college stuff could not be LESS of my forte and therefore stresses me out because my mom's mind works the same as mine and my dad is in southern california so his assistance is limited, and that i'm terrified of adults, looks like a pretty shitty day. and it kinda was. but there were good parts! such good parts! things really turned around!
first of all, i can go camping because mac is no longer going to tahoe. tahoe is like the most fun in the entire world as i mention every time i go. gorgeous house with gracious hosts? lake? JETSKI? entire bunkhouse for ourselves, plus alcohol and jacuzzi? it's working for me. anyway i was disappointed about not getting that but it meant i could go camping, which is AMAZING, and i invited mac to come with me there! so many exciting topics related to this, where should i begin. now we might get to tahoe on monday! for like 3 or 4 days! which means we would get to do BOTH! holy fucking shit. it might not happen but even still, the other exciting news...i invited chris to go camping with us too (third bed strike seemed to kill all chances) and for some insane reason his parents are letting him go! he asked before i even came over and apologized (is he crazy?) and his dad said yes and that it sounded fun. and then post-apology we all talked about it and they're totally fine with it for some weird reason. sooooo exciting!!!! chris just better not get in trouble and then not get to go because then i will kill him.
chris. sigh. he makes me so happy. post-apology we were on his street at my car and just like. i don't even really know what to say exactly. he feels like my little secret because this is the least i've ever shared with other people about our relationship. and not because it's boring or i've already done it, i think it's because i've never been left with so few questions before. it's a reeeeally good thing. i just feel protected. and comfortable. and secure which was seriously the most unimaginable thing to me. i feel so lucky, and it's so hard to say goodbye to him, and i know that no guy has ever cared about me as much as he does. it gives me value in myself that i know isn't conditional. puppies of the same litter. it's nice not to worry.
also my gorgeous neighbor is dating minnie driver?
and ALSO, in case i needed MORE to look forward to, solina and her friends are going to visit me finally! i am deffffffinitely looking forward to that.
this is the first night i've really spent 'in' in a while, other then harry potter obviously, even though i got a very tempting invitation to caitlin's house, but i have to wake up early. puke. anyway maybe going out all the time is the reason i never update anymore. i think yes. so it's good to get this done.
i have to wake up in 5 hours. wish me luck getting the classes i want and not killing myself from stress!