(HP) To Make an End (2/3)
Please see the To Make an End Chapter Guide for story details including summary, warnings, disclaimers, etc.
Part One
To Make an End
Part Two
17 November 1982
Petunia had nearly given up hope that Severus would return when he showed up on her doorstep, not appearing the least bit apologetic. She was about to complain at him-honestly, how could he just disappear without a word for two weeks?!-when he said, "The headmaster has… declined," bitterness in his tone.
Her mouth snapped shut, her earlier anger quickly buried under new fury and resentment.
"Declined?" she finally managed to ask, incredulity seeping into her tone. "Declined?!"
"He feels that the boy may need that memory one day, and that removing it by force, since he cannot hand it over himself, runs the risk of damaging it," Severus explained, sounding nearly as angry as she felt.
She couldn't help it; she laughed. There wasn't an ounce of humour in the sound. "Fine. Goodbye, Severus." She moved to close the door in his face, but without warning, he reached out a hand to stop her, pushing the door open again.
"Wait," he said, his voice almost so quiet that it she wasn't sure she'd heard him correctly at first. He stared at the half-opened door for a long moment before nodding, almost to himself, and then saying softly, "I'll do it." He looked up, finally, though he didn't quite meet her eyes. "I cannot take the boy back to Hogwarts, though; it'll have to happen here."
Petunia stared at him in confusion. "But… you said that it was only safe if someone skilled in that… thing-" She waved her hand in the air, trying to come up with the right word.
"Legilimency," he replied expressionlessly.
"Yes, that," she agreed. "You said someone who can do that had to do it."
"It isn't difficult." Stepping closer, he eyed her impatiently until she stepped aside and let him into the house. "There's very little risk involved; a mind as young as his is very… pliable."
:Petunia hesitated. She wanted Harry's nightmares to stop. No, she needed Harry's nightmares to stop. His inability to sleep was very quickly ruining all of their lives. But the only thing worse than a nightmare-plagued, crying toddler was a nightmare-plagued, crying, brain-damaged toddler, and the possible risks were almost too much for her to even consider.
"Isn't there anyone else?"
Snape rolled his eyes-which was, quite frankly, the attitude she was used to dealing with from him, so it was almost… comforting, in a way. At least some things never changed.
"You don't know how to-"
"Yes, I do," Severus interrupted, glaring at her. "I assure you, I would not do it if I believed there to be any risk."
"If you knew how, why didn't you just do it in the first-" she began to demand, but he cut her off with an angry wave of his hand.
"Do you want to never sleep again?" he snapped.
And as much as she didn't want to trust his words, as much as she wanted to scream at him for making her wait two weeks for him to return when apparently he could have just done this Legilimency thing himself in the first place, she couldn't quite bring herself to do it. Something needed to change… and she didn't think Severus would ever be able to bring himself to permanently damage Lily's son.
"I'll get him," she finally decided, heading into the living room and scooping Harry up from the floor, where he and Dudley were staring at awe at some cartoon on the telly. He started to cry and try to get back down on the floor, but went silent and clutched onto her neck when he saw Severus standing in the hall.
"Put him in his chair," Severus said as he headed for the kitchen. Petunia slowly followed after him, apprehension in every movement as she slid Harry into his high chair. Severus pulled his own chair up close to Harry, then turned to glare at her as Harry reached his arms up, trying to get her to pick him up again.
"He can't be distracted by you." He jerked his head toward the other room. "I'll call you when we're finished." Petunia frowned, opening her mouth to protest, and he cut her off, saying, "If he pulls his attention away, it could have dire consequences. You cannot be in here. It should only take a few hours-I need to extract the original memory, and then the memories of the nightmares."
Reluctantly, she went into the other room, her ear all but pressed to the door as she waited for something, anything to happen. Harry cried for a moment after she left, but then fell silent, and the only sound in the house was the chattering animals on the telly and Dudley's occasional giggle.
And then, nearly twenty minutes after it had all started, she heard what sounded like a groan of pain in the kitchen.
Unable to stop herself, she swung the door open just enough that she could peek inside.
Harry still sat in his chair, his expression completely impassive. It was Severus, sitting with his head down on the table, that had made the noise. In shock, Petunia watched as his body jerked with sobs like she'd never seen from, well, anyone over the age of five, honestly, let alone a grown man. With what appeared to be an enormous amount of effort, he finally lifted his head, choking back more tears even as he again raised his wand toward Harry, touched it to the boy's head, stared at him intensely for a moment, and then pulled the wand away with some sort of silvery something attached, which he quickly deposited into a bowl on the table. His hands shook as he moved.
Not wanting him to see her watching, she gently closed the door, her mind reeling.
What on earth was he-
And then it hit her. Of course. If he were digging through Harry's memories, if he were seeing what Harry had seen….
Was the memory of Lily dying sitting in that bowl on the table? No, dozens-maybe hundreds of memories.
No wonder he hadn't wanted to do this. Of course he hadn't. She almost couldn't believe he'd agreed to it at all.
The thought of seeing something so terrible, over and over, was horrifying, and almost without thinking, she crossed the room and scooped Dudley up into her arms, ignoring his protests as she walked away from the telly. She relented a few moments later and let him scurry back to his show, but she didn't move away from the doorway until finally she heard Severus's chair scrape against the floor and Harry's babbling chatter begin anew.
Letting out a sigh of relief, she pushed the door open fully and stepped into the room. Severus was pouring the contents of the bowl into a glass container-a beaker, was really the only word she could think of to describe it-and he pointedly avoided her eyes as she drew closer.
"Did it work?" she asked finally, unsure of what else to say.
He gave a curt nod. "It appears so. No damage was done, at any rate. We won't know for sure until he gets through a few weeks without any nightmares. With any luck, they'll be gone for good."
A few weeks without nightmares sounded like pure heaven, in Petunia's mind. The thought that they may never occur again, or at least not any more than any other child had nightmares… she didn't even know how to put what she felt about that into words.
Harry stared up at her, his face breaking out into a tiny grin when she looked his way, and she couldn't help but return the smile-maybe, just maybe, her family would survive this after all.
Of course, none of this had come without cost, she realised as Severus moved to place the bowl back on the table, his hands still shaking violently.
She couldn't help but wonder if they'd just simply traded one boy's nightmares for another's.
"I'm going to make some tea," she decided. "Will you stay?"
He looked as though he were going to decline, but then he seemed to reconsider, and in the end, nodded and sank back into his chair. On impulse, she paused beside him on her way to the kettle, her hand finding its way onto his shoulder. He flinched slightly, but didn't pull away.
"Thank you," she told him quietly, wishing she knew what else to say. What else she could say. He remained silent, staring at the table, as she lightly squeezed his shoulder and then turned to go make the tea.
15 June 1983
"Sebbus!" Harry shrieked joyfully as Severus walked into the living room. As if sensing that Severus had been the source of his restful nights, the boy had developed a bit of a fascination with the dour man-one that Severus did not return, but seemed to tolerate well enough, for a few hours, anyway.
"Hi, Sebbus!" Dudley called out nearly at the same time at his cousin.
Severus muttered a very formal, "Good afternoon, Mr Dursley. Mr Potter," and nodded his head in the direction of the boys before walking up the stairs. Nearly falling over each other getting out of their seats, the two boys hurried up the stairs after him.
She should call them back, she knew. Vernon would be furious if he ever found out that she let them watch Severus cast spells. Well, Vernon would be furious if he ever learned that Severus had been using magic in the house at all-or that he'd even been in the house. But she did have such a hard time telling them no….
Finally, she settled for just rolling her eyes at all of them and returning to her magazine.
14 September 1984
Severus,
Harry's managed to turn Dudley's hair green. Vernon
is absolutely livid, and it won't wash out. I've even tried
dying it to no avail. Help?
Petunia Dursley
*
Harry and Dudley exchanged sheepish looks, both of them pointedly avoiding Severus's piercing gaze. Each time Dudley ducked his head down to stare at the floor, his bright green hair caught the light and Petunia fought the urge to flinch a little.
"What in Merlin's name did you-" Severus began to ask.
"He asked me to!" Harry interrupted, quailing as Severus's expression became even more furious. Beside him, Dudley nodded miserably. "I didn't know it would even work…."
"We didn't think my dad would get so mad," Dudley added.
"No, it doesn't appear thinking was high on your list of concerns today at all," Severus replied. Petunia almost told him to calm down a bit-really, they were only children-but Vernon's anger had scared even her. Both of the boys, especially Harry, needed to learn to control themselves, or life was quickly going to become very miserable for all of them.
With a wave of his wand, Severus reverted Dudley's hair back to its normal colour. Dudley almost managed to hide his disappointment.
"Go to your rooms. Both of you," Petunia ordered, and they quickly scurried up the stairs, probably eager to get out of her sight before she added, "And no games or toys while you're up there." She shook her head at the thundering sound of their retreat and turned to share a commiserating look with Severus, but was surprised to find him trying, and failing, to suppress an expression that could only be described as proud.
"Just what are you so happy about?" she asked, exasperated.
"Changing someone's hair colour is fifth-year magic," he said with the barest hint of a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. "The boy lacks control and there isn't a single trace of good judgment in his head-"
"He's four," Petunia interjected.
"-but I wouldn't be surprised if he grew up to be a very powerful wizard."
Petunia wasn't sure whether to be proud or worried over that, so she settled for feeling relieved that Dudley's hair was blonde again.
"I was just about to make some tea before you arrived," she said, walking toward the kitchen. "Would you like to join me, or do you have to get back to the school?"
Severus seemed to consider the offer for a moment, then gave a half-hearted shrug and followed her into the kitchen.
5 July 1985
Severus,
I'm sorry, I know this is the third time in a month. I
have no idea what to do at this point…. I know this
is the wizarding equivalent of a temper tantrum, so
I'm tempted to just ignore him, but that's not exactly
an option right now. There's a turtle stuck to my
kitchen ceiling, and I can't imagine it's enjoying itself.
The man at Eeylops assures me that you'll get this around
3 p.m. If you do, I'd greatly appreciate if you could pop
over before six. Vernon will be home by then, and it's
doubtful that he'll be amused by this. He complains at
poor Harry enough as it is….
Also, I apparently own this owl now. (Why isn't there
an owl post office in Diagon Alley???) What am I even
supposed to feed an owl? Please tell me she doesn't need
to sleep in the house….
Petunia
*
Petunia,
Your husband is a git.
I'll be there by five. Will bring info on owls.
Severus
25 December 1985
Severus,
Thank you for Harry's and Dudley's presents.
They were thrilled- they've been playing with
them all day.
They wrote you notes, which I've enclosed, along
with the present they picked out for you. I should
probably apologise now; Harry was very insistent
on this particular colour, and I couldn't dissuade
him. Sorry. If nothing else, hopefully it'll help keep
you warm, assuming you'll actually wear it in public.
If you find yourself too bored up there, what with
the children gone, I'm sure they wouldn't mind a
visit-especially Harry. Though if I know you at all,
I suspect you're enjoying your temporary reprieve
from all those students….
Happy Christmas, Severus.
~ Petunia
22 August 1986
"Harry, your uncle's here!" Petunia called up the stairs. Harry tore down the steps, jumping over the last three to land on his feet before the front door.
"Hi, Uncle Severus," he said with a grin, looking proud of himself for his 'daring leap'. Severus just shook his head.
"You really think this will work?" Petunia asked worriedly, ruffling Harry's hair-he tugged away, sharing a pained look of annoyance with Dudley-before handing him his overnight bag.
Severus shrugged. "Perhaps. Some children need to be coached in controlling their magic."
"You didn't," Petunia pointed after Harry had darted off after Dudley. Laughter rang through the open doorway as they tumbled onto the grass outside. "Lily didn't."
"I did. I had my mother," Severus pointed out. "And Lily was exceedingly gifted at controlling her magic. A lot of Muggle-borns are. The common theory is that it's nature's way of keeping them alive and safe without magical parents. "
Petunia began to protest that Harry really should have benefited from the same thing, then, but stopped when she realised that no matter how he was raised, Harry was born to a witch and a wizard.
"Of course," Severus continued, "the more likely reason is that Muggle-borns simply don't realise what they're capable of, and so their magic is relatively limited to the things they discover by accident. Harry already knows he's a wizard, and so naturally he tries to do magic more often, creating more opportunity for problems."
Rather liking this theory better, Petunia nodded in agreement.
"He knows not to mention anything to other children at school?"
"Of course. We've talked about that. There's a lot of eye-rolling whenever I bring the subject up these days. I think they're both tired of hearing it."
Severus smirked. "And Vernon…?"
"Thinks both of them will be with the Polkiss family for the weekend, and is very excited at the idea of a quiet house for a couple days." She shook her head, a bemused expression flitting across her face.
It had occurred to Severus more than once over the last couple years that if Vernon Dursley ever figured out all the secrets his wife kept from him, it'd likely be the end of their marriage entirely, but he couldn't really see that it was any of his business.
"All right, then. Harry," Severus called out the open door, "time to go."
Harry excitedly rushed inside, saying a quick, "Bye, Aunt Petunia," and grumbling when she enveloped him in a tight hug before nudging him toward Severus. Gripping his uncle's hand, he grinned madly before disappearing right before her eyes.
"Mummy," Dudley said, leaning into her side, his arms wrapped around her waist, "why can't I go?"
"Because Severus isn't your uncle, darling," she explained gently, sighing at the sad expression on his face. "Come on, let's get some ice cream, and then we'll start packing your things to go to Piers's house."
"I wish I could do magic," Dudley said dejectedly. Something inside her heart twinged painfully, and in an instant, Petunia tugged her son back against her, kneeling down so that she could look into his eyes.
"Don't," she said emphatically, praying that he'd listen. "It's not for everyone, and you're just perfect without it." At Dudley's sceptical expression, she continued, "Let's have that ice cream, and then I want to tell you a story."
"About what?" Dudley asked.
"About me," she answered, giving him a weak smile. "Me and my sister."
11 - 13 March 1988
Petunia,
Harry contacted me by Floo today to ask when I would
next be coming to tea. I cannot have children bothering
me during my classes. What is he even doing with access
to the Floo powder? I thought we agreed that it was only
for emergencies? If anyone figures out I permanently
connected a Muggle Floo to the network, there'll be hell
to pay. Please do something with the boy.
He's as rebellious as his father-I shudder to think what
he'll be like once he gets to Hogwarts.
~Severus
*
Dear Severus,
You know how stubborn and resourceful little boys can be.
I didn't give him the Floo powder, he found it. That Malfoy
child you let him play with showed him how to use it, I
might add.
Am I to assume from your apparent crankiness that Slytherin
lost the match yesterday?
Whatever the reason, at least try to be nice, or you won't be
invited to tea anymore.
~Petunia
*
Are you telling me that I might get to spend my one free
afternoon a week doing something that doesn't involve
children? I fail to see the incentive in being 'nice'.
And I'm not cranky, thank you very much.
*
So I shouldn't expect you on Wednesday then?
*
Don’t be ridiculous. It's the only time I get out of this
castle. And there are significantly fewer children at
your house than at Hogwarts. I'll be there on
Wednesday, invitation or no invitation.
Besides, I wouldn't want to disappoint the boy.
*
He does have a name, you know. And your owl looked
hungry-I gave it chicken, I hope that's all right.
*
Half a step away from teaching my owl cannibalism is
what it is. I cannot see how teaching your child to use
Floo powder is worse.
*
You're hopeless. And also the only one complaining about
Harry's Flooing (is that even a word?) abilities.
*
Point noted.
(And no, it's not a word.)
Tell Harry I'll see him Wednesday. And for Merlin's
sake, find a better place to hide the Floo powder!
3 November 1989
Petunia glanced up at the sound of the door opening, surprised to see Severus standing in the doorway.
"Harry," he said in way of explanation, sitting down beside her when she shifted over to make room.
She let out a frustrated sigh. "I should probably go reclaim my Floo powder."
He held up a hand for her to wait, reaching into his pocket and quickly producing the small tin that she'd thought she'd so carefully hidden. Petunia offered him a weak smile as he handed it to her, quickly looking away. She knew she must look terrible; she'd been crying half the day.
"Are you all right?" Severus asked after a long, silent moment passed.
"No," she answered truthfully. "I will be, but… no."
Severus shifted uncomfortably in his seat-uncharacteristic of him, Petunia thought, but then, he probably wasn't confronted with crying women on a regular basis. Crying teenagers, maybe, but it hardly seemed like the same thing. After all, teenagers generally didn't have to deal with their husbands leaving them.
"When is he moving out?" he finally asked, trying for what she could only assume was 'gentle', but coming across as 'irritated' more than anything else. This wasn't really a surprise; he'd always hated Vernon.
Petunia sniffled. "He already has. Apparently he's been planning this for a while." She dabbed again at her eyes with her wrinkled handkerchief, a broken-sounding laugh escaping her. "You know, I'm hurt and angry-and sad, obviously-but more than anything, I'm almost… relieved." She sighed, looking down at her hands. "That's terrible, isn't it?"
"Hardly," Severus said with a snort. She turned to frown at him in surprise. "The man's a tyrant."
"He's not a tyrant," she said, defending Vernon out of habit. "He's just…" she paused, struggling to find the right words, "very stubborn. Set in his ways." When Severus rolled his eyes, she ignored him.
"Shouldn't you be teaching right now?" she asked, changing the subject.
"I cancelled my classes for the rest of the day," he replied. "I doubt the students will complain."
Petunia smirked half-heartedly. "At least someone is getting something good out of all this." With a sigh, she admitted, "I don't know how to do this. This being alone thing. I never have, you know. I've always had my parents or Lily or Vernon. It's… terrifying."
"You have Harry and Dudley," Severus pointed out, speaking more sensibly than she really was inclined to tolerate just now. "You're not alone."
"They're children. It's not the same and you know it," she said quietly.
"You're not alone, Petunia," he repeated pointedly, looking everywhere but at her.
30 July 1991
Harry sneaked a peek out the back window and saw Aunt Petunia busily pulling weeds from a flowerbed. Dudley was upstairs playing on the computer. It seemed like the perfect time.
Tiptoeing into his aunt's bedroom, he crept to the chest of drawers and tugged experimentally on the one drawer that sported a lock. Frowning and checking over his shoulder one more time, he placed his hand over the lock and whispered the spell Draco had taught him. "Alohamora!"
It took three tries, but then he heard the lock click open, and he quickly opened the drawer and pulled out the small jar of Floo powder. Closing the drawer carefully so as not to make any noise, he hurried back downstairs and threw a small pinch of the powder into the fireplace. "Malfoy manor," he said softly. A moment later Draco's dad's head appeared.
"Harry," Mr Malfoy said in greeting. "I take it you're looking for Draco."
"Yes, sir," he answered respectfully-Mr Malfoy liked when people treated him with respect, and while Harry wasn't usually very adept at showing respect to adults, he was just a little bit afraid of his friend's father. Uncle Severus had told him that fear of Lucius Malfoy was a sign of intelligence, and Harry liked when Uncle Severus called him intelligent. It meant more than when Aunt Petunia did it because she was kind of like his mum, and so it didn't really count when she said it. Everyone knew mums couldn't be trusted to tell the truth about things like that; she was always saying that Dudley was handsome and intelligent, too, and Harry couldn't help but feel that she only really believed that because Dudley was her son.
"Is that what I think it is?" Mr Malfoy asked, looking toward Harry's hand, not moving to get Draco.
"Yes, sir," Harry answered again, proudly holding up his Hogwarts letter. "It came this morning."
"And your aunt, what did she have to say about that?" he asked, looking somehow amused in that way he only ever did when talking about Harry's family. Draco said it was because Harry's family was made up of Muggles and Muggles weren't as good as wizards, and even though he had to agree when it came to most Muggles, he did love Aunt Petunia-even if he'd never say as much to Draco because boys weren't supposed to talk about love.
"She was excited," he answered, which wasn't quite true. She'd tried to act excited, but her eyes had been sad, and she'd spent most of the day outside. He'd even seen her crying, and he'd felt awful… but he had to go to Hogwarts. He was going to be a wizard, just like Uncle Severus, just like his real parents. Aunt Petunia might be sad, but he was certain that she was nowhere near as sad as he'd be if he had to go to Smeltings with Dudley.
"Good. At least she understands what's best for a young wizard," Mr Malfoy said with an approving nod, and Harry grinned. "Hold on." The head disappeared from the flames, and then a moment later Draco's appeared in its place.
"Look, I got my letter," Harry told him, holding it out. Draco didn't look impressed.
"Yeah, well, I got mine months ago," he said with a shrug. "We knew you'd get one anyway-you've been doing magic for ages."
Harry tucked the letter into his pocket. "You're still going shopping for school things with me and Uncle Severus, right?"
"Maybe. Mum said she's not sure she wants me going if your aunt's going to be there." Draco wrinkled his nose. "Does she have to come?"
Harry shrugged again. "I think so. She said she wants to, anyway, and Uncle Severus got annoyed with me when I said she shouldn't go because it'd be weird for a Muggle to shop in Diagon Alley."
"Maybe Dad can talk to him…. I'll see what I can do," Draco said imperiously. Just then the sound of the back door opening met Harry's ears, and he waved Draco away.
"Okay, fine. I've got to go. Bye!" The green flames died down, then disappeared just as Aunt Petunia came into the living room. She narrowed her eyes at Harry, then looked at the fireplace, then back again. Holding out her hand, she waited expectantly until he reluctantly moved his hand from behind his back and handed her the small jar of Floo powder.
"I just wanted to tell Draco I got my letter," he whined when she looked like she might yell at him. "I can't call him to tell him things like Dud can with his friends…."
She pursed her lips and was silent for a long moment, and he looked down at the floor, focusing on the toes of his shoes.
"Just ask next time, okay?" she replied with a resigned sigh, tightening the lid on the little jar and depositing it into her pocket. "And stay out of my bedroom, or I'm taking your computer away for a month."
"Okay," he mumbled, trying to look contrite. Really, he didn't care-at Hogwarts he wouldn't be able to use his computer anyway. But he didn't want her to think up any other punishment for him, so he just said, "Can I go?"
"Yes, but stay inside. It's going to rain soon."
He grinned and darted up the stairs. Shaking her head in bemusement at the energy contained inside a nearly eleven-year-old boy, she headed for the kitchen, trying not to think about how Harry would be leaving her soon. The weight of the jar in her pocket was a constant reminder, though, and finally she hid it away again-this time in a high kitchen cupboard, where, with any luck, Harry wouldn't find it for a few weeks.
1 September 1991
"SLYTHERIN!" the hat yelled. Harry leapt up from the stool, barely allowing time for the hat to be plucked off of his head, and nearly ran to the empty seat between Draco and Greg.
Only once he was in his seat did he let himself crane his neck so that he could look over the heads of the other students to meet Uncle Severus's eyes. No, Professor Snape's eyes. He had to get used to thinking of him that way, at least while at school. Professor Snape nodded at him in approval, then turned his attention back to the Sorting.
Harry grinned, letting his eyes drift over the others seated at the head table. He knew who most of them were; Uncle-Professor Snape had told him about them all at one point or another. So he knew it was Albus Dumbledore who was staring at him, his expression unreadable, but disconcerting. Lowering his head back down to hide himself from sight behind the dozens of other students, he shot a confused look at Draco.
"My dad says Dumbledore's just a barmy old fool. Ignore him," Draco said with a shrug. Feeling mildly reassured, Harry turned back to the happenings at the front of the room just in time to see the Weasley boy that Draco had warned him about settling nervously down onto the stool.
"GRYFFINDOR!" the hat shouted almost immediately.
"Surprise, surprise," Draco muttered. Harry muffled a laugh with his hand.
4 September 1991
"Severus?" Petunia only just stopped herself from leaning out the door to see if Harry was lurking somewhere behind him, surprise evident in her expression. "Is everything all right?"
"It's Wednesday," he said, then frowned and started to turn away. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have--"
"No!" she interrupted, suddenly understanding. "No, I was just... I forgot what day it was," she finished lamely, knowing he could hear the lie in her words but not sure what else she could say. "Come in."
He hesitated on the step, and she pushed the door open a few more inches. "Please," she added softly. "It won't be a proper Wednesday without stories of teenage idiocy to laugh over."
Offering her something that was probably supposed to be a smile, but looked strained and awkward from general misuse, Severus nodded and stepped inside.
25 June 1993
"Have you lost your mind?!"
Lucius rolled his eyes, apparently bored in the face of Severus's outrage. "Stop pacing; you're ruining the pile of the rug. Narcissa just had it imported last week."
Severus purposely ground his heel into the carpet before resuming his pacing.
Shaking his head, Lucius just continued in a placating tone, "Be reasonable. The young Dark Lord will eventually figure out how to achieve the power his older self did. And who better to guide him, at this tender age, than the person who orchestrated his resurrection?" He sipped at his drink, and was entirely caught by surprise when the glass was forcefully slapped from his hand, sending brandy and shattered glass flying. Irritation breaking through the calm exterior, he waved his wand and Vanished the mess.
"How long do you expect that he'll be willing to quietly remain here?" Severus asked through gritted teeth. "He'll grow up to be even worse than before!"
Lucius just smirked. "Not all of us were unhappy with the way things were before, my friend." He stood up, reaching out a hand to rest reassuringly on Severus's arm. Severus jerked away, his expression turning even more furious.
"What if someone else brings the Dark Lord-the original one-back? Do you really want to be in the middle of a power struggle between the most powerful wizard alive and himself?"
"Well, I was only trying to help restore him to power in any way I could, wasn't I?" Lucius said, adopting an innocent tone, then laughing. "You worry too much, Severus. This is a good thing."
"And what about Harry?" he snapped. "You're sentencing him to death. Harry. The boy who's been Draco's best friend since they were six!" Just the thought made him even angrier, and it was all he could do to keep from hexing his long-time friend. Only the thought that young Tom Riddle was somewhere in the manor kept him from making too much of a commotion; he didn't want to be anywhere near the freakish child who was already insisting that everyone call him Lord Voldemort.
"The prophecy applied to the older Dark Lord," Lucius said dismissively. "And I've no intention of allowing him to come back-he was entirely too focused on Potter by the end. This Dark Lord is just a boy, barely older than Potter himself. He has no argument with a child, especially if that child will swear loyalty to him, just as any respectable Slytherin should."
Severus's glare only intensified. "Harry will do no such thing. I won't willingly let you lead him down that path." He paced back and forth, his mind reeling.
Lucius shook his head, a bemused expression flitting across his face. "Potter would do well in our Lord's army-a fact of which, I'm sure, you are well aware. Your concern is less for him than it is for his Muggle aunt and disgraceful cousin. Honestly, Severus, I'm rather fond of you, but you must admit that your taste in women has always left something to be desired."
At that, Severus finally lost his temper. In an instant he was across the room, his wand pressed against Lucius's neck. "Stay away from Harry Potter," he said menacingly, "or I promise you, Lucius, I will make sure you regret it." With that, he stormed out of the manor.
Lucius rolled his eyes and poured himself another drink.
12 August 1993
"I wish Dudley could come home before I leave for school," Harry grumbled, leaning with his elbows on the windowsill, staring forlornly at the group of boys riding past on their bicycles.
Petunia sighed. "So do I, dear," she replied, but the truth was, she didn't. Dudley was safer where he was. If she'd had her choice, both boys, along with herself, would be elsewhere right now. With Sirius Black on the run, nowhere felt safe. She'd sent Dudley to his father's, where-as he'd very miserably informed her the night before-he was suffering through a visit from Marge. Petunia couldn't stand Marge, so she certainly didn't envy Dudley his relative freedom, despite having been trapped inside the house with a very moody and unhappy Harry for the last week.
Severus had shown up in the middle of the night, practically shaking with rage at Sirius's escape-Petunia certainly understood that; Severus had told her what Sirius had done to Lily and her husband. What he'd caused. She couldn't help but hate Sirius, though she suspected Severus hated him even more.
Severus's sources said that Sirius may be heading to Hogwarts, so the idea of sending Harry there before school was back in session had been discarded quickly. Instead, Severus had cast spells and charms to protect the house from anyone but her, Harry, Dudley and himself from entering, forced Portkeys of questionable legality into her hands with strict instructions to always have one in her pocket and make sure Harry carried one, practically ordered her to send Dudley to Vernon's house, and then stormed out, only to return each night to make sure that no one was lurking around. Petunia wasn't honestly sure whether Severus was more interested in protecting her and Harry, or recapturing Sirius Black.
"Why don't you go play on your computer for a while?" she suggested. Harry slumped his shoulders forward and sighed, obviously disinterested. "It's better than just staring out the window all day…."
"I'll just listen to my new CD. Again," he muttered, trudging across the room and up the stairs. She shook her head and sighed, turning back to her most recent dilemma-how to get the milk inside. She'd slipped just an arm out the door to put out the milk bottles early in the morning, but when she'd gone to retrieve the new milk from the step, she'd found a stray dog sleeping between it and the door. She'd waited a little while, hoping he'd leave, but so far he hadn't shown any signs of even being awake, let alone having any intentions of going away. It had been nearly an hour now, and it was a hot day; she had to do something soon, or the milk would spoil. Calling someone to come deal with the dog may not work with all the protection spells that had been cast on the house.
Finally, tired of waiting for the dog to leave on his own, she got a broom and opened the door a crack, nudging the dog with the broom handle. "Go on, get out of here," she commanded, turning the broom to try to push the dog off the step with the wider end. The dog raised its head and stared at her dispassionately, but didn't budge.
With a groan of frustration, she stepped closer, placing one foot outside the door and pushing harder. "Shoo!"
More staring.
Pursing her lips in irritation, she moved closer again and swatted at the dog with the broom. "Just move! You can come back in a minute," she offered, feeling ridiculous. She was talking to a dog, of all things. But at least if she could get him to get out of the way, she could get her milk and then talk Severus into chasing him off later.
She again swatted at the dog with the broom, trying to coax him into moving, and was about to yell at him to please just get up already, but the words turned into a shout of surprise as the dog suddenly leapt up and jumped against her, knocking her backward through the door. She threw her hands up to protect her face, sure she was about to be bitten, but the dog just jumped over her sprawled legs and landed inside the house. She scrambled to stand up, but froze in horror as the dog shifted and changed, hands sprouting where paws had been, hair sagging away and becoming clothes, until Sirius Black himself was standing just feet away from her. He was thinner than she remembered, and seemed to have aged more years than he really should have, but she'd have recognised him in an instant even if his picture hadn't been all over the telly just days ago.
"You always were the sort to hit a dog," he growled out, his voice hoarse and raspy, and she jerked out of her shock, bringing her quickly to her feet.
She nearly yelled for Harry to run, but stopped herself, knowing it would only alert Sirius to Harry's whereabouts faster. He'd gone to listen to his music; she couldn't hear it, so he was undoubtedly wearing his headphones. Many occurrences of having to go into his room and actually remove his headphones in order to get his attention had taught her that even shouting from his doorway was usually pointless; he wouldn't hear her.
"What do you want?" she asked instead, trying to sound less terrified than she felt and failing. "You don't have any business being here. Get out of my house."
"Where's Harry?" he asked, ignoring her words. He looked around as if expecting to see the boy standing there, and the wild, mad look in his eyes made a shiver of fear run up Petunia's spine.
Casting around for the right thing to say, she finally answered, "Hogwarts, where he's safe from you."
He let out a low growl, sounding like the dog he'd been just a moment ago, drawing close enough to her that she stumbled backwards, pressed against the wall. Up close, he smelled of filth and old sweat. She grimaced. "I just saw him in the window. Don't lie to me. Where is he?" When she only stared at him, defiantly silent despite her terror, he took a step back and held his hands out to his sides. "Petunia, I just want to see my godson. It's my job to protect him. Tell me, or I'll just find him myself."
"Protect him like you protected his parents?" she ground out, trying to stall for time. Before she had a moment to react, Sirius leapt at her, pulling a long knife out of his pocket and pressing it threateningly against her throat.
"Don't you dare!" he shouted as she froze in place, tears rolling down her cheeks. "You know nothing, Petunia! Nothing. I would never have hurt them. Never!"
With a gasping sob, she whispered, "Please... please just go. Harry's fine here. Please-" She never finished the sentence. A door opened upstairs, and Sirius's head spun around, all of his attention now focused on the sound. A second later, Harry wandered around the corner, dropping his CD player to the ground when he saw what was going on at the bottom of the stairs.
"Go!" Petunia screamed at him, sending him running down the hall. Sirius started up the stairs, and Petunia dashed after him and grabbed his ankle, trying to pull him back, to allow time for Harry to escape. Sirius kicked backwards, knocking her down to the bottom of the steps, and her head connected painfully with the railing. She struggled to her feet, ignoring the pain radiating from the side of her head, not allowing herself to think about the blood that seemed to instantly run down through her hair and onto her shirt. A wave of dizziness made the room spin, and she forced herself another step closer to the stairs before collapsing onto the bottom step.
The Portkey, she reminded herself, shaking her head to try to regain her focus and finding herself rewarded with only more pain. Reaching into her pocket, she tightened her grip around the little marble Severus had given her. He'd said to hold it for fifteen seconds-a precaution put in place after Harry accidentally Portkeyed himself to the Hogwarts dungeons while getting dressed two days go. Fifteen seconds seemed like an eternity now, and her stomach turned dangerously as she heard Sirius's footsteps thunder back down the hallway, coming her way.
"Where did he-" he began to say, but then stopped when he saw her, muttering an irritated, "Fuck," as he came down the steps. She scrambled away from him, mentally counting. Only a few more seconds....
"Would you stop? I just want to-" he said, reaching for her, then narrowed his eyes and grabbed her wrist, pulling her hand out of her pocket and prying her fingers away from the marble. It dropped to the floor and rolled away, and Petunia choked back an angry sob. Out of options, she struggled to pull her arm out of his grasp.
"Calm down! I'm just trying to see," he demanded, reaching toward her head with the hand still loosely holding the knife.
"NO!" she screamed, kicking wildly until she felt her foot make contact with his shin. He groaned in pain, releasing her arm, and she twisted around, reaching desperately for the marble. She'd nearly closed her hand around it when she heard the most beautiful, wonderful sound she'd ever heard in her life-the CRACK of Apparition. She looked up to find Severus standing in her living room.
After taking one look at her, lying on the blood-splattered floor, Severus raised his wand and pointed it at Sirius.
"Snivellus?! " Sirius bit out, but at the sight of the wand pointed in his direction, he held up his knife. Without warning, a bolt of green light soared over Petunia's head, and Sirius silently fell to the ground, collapsing across her legs, the knife clattering harmlessly to the floor.
Petunia screamed, scrambling against the body that pinned her down, and then Severus was at her side, shoving Sirius away and helping her sit up. He pointed his wand at the floor, and white mist flowed out of it, forming into what looked like a small animal made of mist. "Shacklebolt, I have Sirius Black. Number Four, Privet Drive, Little Whinging," he said to it, waving it away. It bounded through the closed door, and Petunia blinked in surprise, her heart still racing.
Severus turned his attention to the cut on her head, prodding at it and then lifting his wand. A tingling sensation ran over her skin. "Aurors will be here in a moment; I have to wait for them. Harry will be safe at the school for now," he told her. She nodded, willing her hands to stop shaking.
"Is he… dead?" she finally asked, pointedly refusing to look at Sirius.
"Yes," Severus answered, his voice tight and tense.
Petunia shuddered. Unsure what else to say, she just added, "Was that thing a squirrel?"
"It was a message," he replied. "Hold still."
Forcing herself to stop moving while Severus healed her throbbing head, she just closed her eyes.
"Are messages always squirrels?"
Severus paused in his movements, but when she opened her eyes to look at him, he quickly turned away, focusing back on his wand. She didn't think he was going to answer, but after a moment, he said quietly, "Only recently."
Part Three
Part One
To Make an End
Part Two
17 November 1982
Petunia had nearly given up hope that Severus would return when he showed up on her doorstep, not appearing the least bit apologetic. She was about to complain at him-honestly, how could he just disappear without a word for two weeks?!-when he said, "The headmaster has… declined," bitterness in his tone.
Her mouth snapped shut, her earlier anger quickly buried under new fury and resentment.
"Declined?" she finally managed to ask, incredulity seeping into her tone. "Declined?!"
"He feels that the boy may need that memory one day, and that removing it by force, since he cannot hand it over himself, runs the risk of damaging it," Severus explained, sounding nearly as angry as she felt.
She couldn't help it; she laughed. There wasn't an ounce of humour in the sound. "Fine. Goodbye, Severus." She moved to close the door in his face, but without warning, he reached out a hand to stop her, pushing the door open again.
"Wait," he said, his voice almost so quiet that it she wasn't sure she'd heard him correctly at first. He stared at the half-opened door for a long moment before nodding, almost to himself, and then saying softly, "I'll do it." He looked up, finally, though he didn't quite meet her eyes. "I cannot take the boy back to Hogwarts, though; it'll have to happen here."
Petunia stared at him in confusion. "But… you said that it was only safe if someone skilled in that… thing-" She waved her hand in the air, trying to come up with the right word.
"Legilimency," he replied expressionlessly.
"Yes, that," she agreed. "You said someone who can do that had to do it."
"It isn't difficult." Stepping closer, he eyed her impatiently until she stepped aside and let him into the house. "There's very little risk involved; a mind as young as his is very… pliable."
:Petunia hesitated. She wanted Harry's nightmares to stop. No, she needed Harry's nightmares to stop. His inability to sleep was very quickly ruining all of their lives. But the only thing worse than a nightmare-plagued, crying toddler was a nightmare-plagued, crying, brain-damaged toddler, and the possible risks were almost too much for her to even consider.
"Isn't there anyone else?"
Snape rolled his eyes-which was, quite frankly, the attitude she was used to dealing with from him, so it was almost… comforting, in a way. At least some things never changed.
"You don't know how to-"
"Yes, I do," Severus interrupted, glaring at her. "I assure you, I would not do it if I believed there to be any risk."
"If you knew how, why didn't you just do it in the first-" she began to demand, but he cut her off with an angry wave of his hand.
"Do you want to never sleep again?" he snapped.
And as much as she didn't want to trust his words, as much as she wanted to scream at him for making her wait two weeks for him to return when apparently he could have just done this Legilimency thing himself in the first place, she couldn't quite bring herself to do it. Something needed to change… and she didn't think Severus would ever be able to bring himself to permanently damage Lily's son.
"I'll get him," she finally decided, heading into the living room and scooping Harry up from the floor, where he and Dudley were staring at awe at some cartoon on the telly. He started to cry and try to get back down on the floor, but went silent and clutched onto her neck when he saw Severus standing in the hall.
"Put him in his chair," Severus said as he headed for the kitchen. Petunia slowly followed after him, apprehension in every movement as she slid Harry into his high chair. Severus pulled his own chair up close to Harry, then turned to glare at her as Harry reached his arms up, trying to get her to pick him up again.
"He can't be distracted by you." He jerked his head toward the other room. "I'll call you when we're finished." Petunia frowned, opening her mouth to protest, and he cut her off, saying, "If he pulls his attention away, it could have dire consequences. You cannot be in here. It should only take a few hours-I need to extract the original memory, and then the memories of the nightmares."
Reluctantly, she went into the other room, her ear all but pressed to the door as she waited for something, anything to happen. Harry cried for a moment after she left, but then fell silent, and the only sound in the house was the chattering animals on the telly and Dudley's occasional giggle.
And then, nearly twenty minutes after it had all started, she heard what sounded like a groan of pain in the kitchen.
Unable to stop herself, she swung the door open just enough that she could peek inside.
Harry still sat in his chair, his expression completely impassive. It was Severus, sitting with his head down on the table, that had made the noise. In shock, Petunia watched as his body jerked with sobs like she'd never seen from, well, anyone over the age of five, honestly, let alone a grown man. With what appeared to be an enormous amount of effort, he finally lifted his head, choking back more tears even as he again raised his wand toward Harry, touched it to the boy's head, stared at him intensely for a moment, and then pulled the wand away with some sort of silvery something attached, which he quickly deposited into a bowl on the table. His hands shook as he moved.
Not wanting him to see her watching, she gently closed the door, her mind reeling.
What on earth was he-
And then it hit her. Of course. If he were digging through Harry's memories, if he were seeing what Harry had seen….
Was the memory of Lily dying sitting in that bowl on the table? No, dozens-maybe hundreds of memories.
No wonder he hadn't wanted to do this. Of course he hadn't. She almost couldn't believe he'd agreed to it at all.
The thought of seeing something so terrible, over and over, was horrifying, and almost without thinking, she crossed the room and scooped Dudley up into her arms, ignoring his protests as she walked away from the telly. She relented a few moments later and let him scurry back to his show, but she didn't move away from the doorway until finally she heard Severus's chair scrape against the floor and Harry's babbling chatter begin anew.
Letting out a sigh of relief, she pushed the door open fully and stepped into the room. Severus was pouring the contents of the bowl into a glass container-a beaker, was really the only word she could think of to describe it-and he pointedly avoided her eyes as she drew closer.
"Did it work?" she asked finally, unsure of what else to say.
He gave a curt nod. "It appears so. No damage was done, at any rate. We won't know for sure until he gets through a few weeks without any nightmares. With any luck, they'll be gone for good."
A few weeks without nightmares sounded like pure heaven, in Petunia's mind. The thought that they may never occur again, or at least not any more than any other child had nightmares… she didn't even know how to put what she felt about that into words.
Harry stared up at her, his face breaking out into a tiny grin when she looked his way, and she couldn't help but return the smile-maybe, just maybe, her family would survive this after all.
Of course, none of this had come without cost, she realised as Severus moved to place the bowl back on the table, his hands still shaking violently.
She couldn't help but wonder if they'd just simply traded one boy's nightmares for another's.
"I'm going to make some tea," she decided. "Will you stay?"
He looked as though he were going to decline, but then he seemed to reconsider, and in the end, nodded and sank back into his chair. On impulse, she paused beside him on her way to the kettle, her hand finding its way onto his shoulder. He flinched slightly, but didn't pull away.
"Thank you," she told him quietly, wishing she knew what else to say. What else she could say. He remained silent, staring at the table, as she lightly squeezed his shoulder and then turned to go make the tea.
15 June 1983
"Sebbus!" Harry shrieked joyfully as Severus walked into the living room. As if sensing that Severus had been the source of his restful nights, the boy had developed a bit of a fascination with the dour man-one that Severus did not return, but seemed to tolerate well enough, for a few hours, anyway.
"Hi, Sebbus!" Dudley called out nearly at the same time at his cousin.
Severus muttered a very formal, "Good afternoon, Mr Dursley. Mr Potter," and nodded his head in the direction of the boys before walking up the stairs. Nearly falling over each other getting out of their seats, the two boys hurried up the stairs after him.
She should call them back, she knew. Vernon would be furious if he ever found out that she let them watch Severus cast spells. Well, Vernon would be furious if he ever learned that Severus had been using magic in the house at all-or that he'd even been in the house. But she did have such a hard time telling them no….
Finally, she settled for just rolling her eyes at all of them and returning to her magazine.
14 September 1984
Severus,
Harry's managed to turn Dudley's hair green. Vernon
is absolutely livid, and it won't wash out. I've even tried
dying it to no avail. Help?
Petunia Dursley
*
Harry and Dudley exchanged sheepish looks, both of them pointedly avoiding Severus's piercing gaze. Each time Dudley ducked his head down to stare at the floor, his bright green hair caught the light and Petunia fought the urge to flinch a little.
"What in Merlin's name did you-" Severus began to ask.
"He asked me to!" Harry interrupted, quailing as Severus's expression became even more furious. Beside him, Dudley nodded miserably. "I didn't know it would even work…."
"We didn't think my dad would get so mad," Dudley added.
"No, it doesn't appear thinking was high on your list of concerns today at all," Severus replied. Petunia almost told him to calm down a bit-really, they were only children-but Vernon's anger had scared even her. Both of the boys, especially Harry, needed to learn to control themselves, or life was quickly going to become very miserable for all of them.
With a wave of his wand, Severus reverted Dudley's hair back to its normal colour. Dudley almost managed to hide his disappointment.
"Go to your rooms. Both of you," Petunia ordered, and they quickly scurried up the stairs, probably eager to get out of her sight before she added, "And no games or toys while you're up there." She shook her head at the thundering sound of their retreat and turned to share a commiserating look with Severus, but was surprised to find him trying, and failing, to suppress an expression that could only be described as proud.
"Just what are you so happy about?" she asked, exasperated.
"Changing someone's hair colour is fifth-year magic," he said with the barest hint of a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. "The boy lacks control and there isn't a single trace of good judgment in his head-"
"He's four," Petunia interjected.
"-but I wouldn't be surprised if he grew up to be a very powerful wizard."
Petunia wasn't sure whether to be proud or worried over that, so she settled for feeling relieved that Dudley's hair was blonde again.
"I was just about to make some tea before you arrived," she said, walking toward the kitchen. "Would you like to join me, or do you have to get back to the school?"
Severus seemed to consider the offer for a moment, then gave a half-hearted shrug and followed her into the kitchen.
5 July 1985
Severus,
I'm sorry, I know this is the third time in a month. I
have no idea what to do at this point…. I know this
is the wizarding equivalent of a temper tantrum, so
I'm tempted to just ignore him, but that's not exactly
an option right now. There's a turtle stuck to my
kitchen ceiling, and I can't imagine it's enjoying itself.
The man at Eeylops assures me that you'll get this around
3 p.m. If you do, I'd greatly appreciate if you could pop
over before six. Vernon will be home by then, and it's
doubtful that he'll be amused by this. He complains at
poor Harry enough as it is….
Also, I apparently own this owl now. (Why isn't there
an owl post office in Diagon Alley???) What am I even
supposed to feed an owl? Please tell me she doesn't need
to sleep in the house….
Petunia
*
Petunia,
Your husband is a git.
I'll be there by five. Will bring info on owls.
Severus
25 December 1985
Severus,
Thank you for Harry's and Dudley's presents.
They were thrilled- they've been playing with
them all day.
They wrote you notes, which I've enclosed, along
with the present they picked out for you. I should
probably apologise now; Harry was very insistent
on this particular colour, and I couldn't dissuade
him. Sorry. If nothing else, hopefully it'll help keep
you warm, assuming you'll actually wear it in public.
If you find yourself too bored up there, what with
the children gone, I'm sure they wouldn't mind a
visit-especially Harry. Though if I know you at all,
I suspect you're enjoying your temporary reprieve
from all those students….
Happy Christmas, Severus.
~ Petunia
22 August 1986
"Harry, your uncle's here!" Petunia called up the stairs. Harry tore down the steps, jumping over the last three to land on his feet before the front door.
"Hi, Uncle Severus," he said with a grin, looking proud of himself for his 'daring leap'. Severus just shook his head.
"You really think this will work?" Petunia asked worriedly, ruffling Harry's hair-he tugged away, sharing a pained look of annoyance with Dudley-before handing him his overnight bag.
Severus shrugged. "Perhaps. Some children need to be coached in controlling their magic."
"You didn't," Petunia pointed after Harry had darted off after Dudley. Laughter rang through the open doorway as they tumbled onto the grass outside. "Lily didn't."
"I did. I had my mother," Severus pointed out. "And Lily was exceedingly gifted at controlling her magic. A lot of Muggle-borns are. The common theory is that it's nature's way of keeping them alive and safe without magical parents. "
Petunia began to protest that Harry really should have benefited from the same thing, then, but stopped when she realised that no matter how he was raised, Harry was born to a witch and a wizard.
"Of course," Severus continued, "the more likely reason is that Muggle-borns simply don't realise what they're capable of, and so their magic is relatively limited to the things they discover by accident. Harry already knows he's a wizard, and so naturally he tries to do magic more often, creating more opportunity for problems."
Rather liking this theory better, Petunia nodded in agreement.
"He knows not to mention anything to other children at school?"
"Of course. We've talked about that. There's a lot of eye-rolling whenever I bring the subject up these days. I think they're both tired of hearing it."
Severus smirked. "And Vernon…?"
"Thinks both of them will be with the Polkiss family for the weekend, and is very excited at the idea of a quiet house for a couple days." She shook her head, a bemused expression flitting across her face.
It had occurred to Severus more than once over the last couple years that if Vernon Dursley ever figured out all the secrets his wife kept from him, it'd likely be the end of their marriage entirely, but he couldn't really see that it was any of his business.
"All right, then. Harry," Severus called out the open door, "time to go."
Harry excitedly rushed inside, saying a quick, "Bye, Aunt Petunia," and grumbling when she enveloped him in a tight hug before nudging him toward Severus. Gripping his uncle's hand, he grinned madly before disappearing right before her eyes.
"Mummy," Dudley said, leaning into her side, his arms wrapped around her waist, "why can't I go?"
"Because Severus isn't your uncle, darling," she explained gently, sighing at the sad expression on his face. "Come on, let's get some ice cream, and then we'll start packing your things to go to Piers's house."
"I wish I could do magic," Dudley said dejectedly. Something inside her heart twinged painfully, and in an instant, Petunia tugged her son back against her, kneeling down so that she could look into his eyes.
"Don't," she said emphatically, praying that he'd listen. "It's not for everyone, and you're just perfect without it." At Dudley's sceptical expression, she continued, "Let's have that ice cream, and then I want to tell you a story."
"About what?" Dudley asked.
"About me," she answered, giving him a weak smile. "Me and my sister."
11 - 13 March 1988
Petunia,
Harry contacted me by Floo today to ask when I would
next be coming to tea. I cannot have children bothering
me during my classes. What is he even doing with access
to the Floo powder? I thought we agreed that it was only
for emergencies? If anyone figures out I permanently
connected a Muggle Floo to the network, there'll be hell
to pay. Please do something with the boy.
He's as rebellious as his father-I shudder to think what
he'll be like once he gets to Hogwarts.
~Severus
*
Dear Severus,
You know how stubborn and resourceful little boys can be.
I didn't give him the Floo powder, he found it. That Malfoy
child you let him play with showed him how to use it, I
might add.
Am I to assume from your apparent crankiness that Slytherin
lost the match yesterday?
Whatever the reason, at least try to be nice, or you won't be
invited to tea anymore.
~Petunia
*
Are you telling me that I might get to spend my one free
afternoon a week doing something that doesn't involve
children? I fail to see the incentive in being 'nice'.
And I'm not cranky, thank you very much.
*
So I shouldn't expect you on Wednesday then?
*
Don’t be ridiculous. It's the only time I get out of this
castle. And there are significantly fewer children at
your house than at Hogwarts. I'll be there on
Wednesday, invitation or no invitation.
Besides, I wouldn't want to disappoint the boy.
*
He does have a name, you know. And your owl looked
hungry-I gave it chicken, I hope that's all right.
*
Half a step away from teaching my owl cannibalism is
what it is. I cannot see how teaching your child to use
Floo powder is worse.
*
You're hopeless. And also the only one complaining about
Harry's Flooing (is that even a word?) abilities.
*
Point noted.
(And no, it's not a word.)
Tell Harry I'll see him Wednesday. And for Merlin's
sake, find a better place to hide the Floo powder!
3 November 1989
Petunia glanced up at the sound of the door opening, surprised to see Severus standing in the doorway.
"Harry," he said in way of explanation, sitting down beside her when she shifted over to make room.
She let out a frustrated sigh. "I should probably go reclaim my Floo powder."
He held up a hand for her to wait, reaching into his pocket and quickly producing the small tin that she'd thought she'd so carefully hidden. Petunia offered him a weak smile as he handed it to her, quickly looking away. She knew she must look terrible; she'd been crying half the day.
"Are you all right?" Severus asked after a long, silent moment passed.
"No," she answered truthfully. "I will be, but… no."
Severus shifted uncomfortably in his seat-uncharacteristic of him, Petunia thought, but then, he probably wasn't confronted with crying women on a regular basis. Crying teenagers, maybe, but it hardly seemed like the same thing. After all, teenagers generally didn't have to deal with their husbands leaving them.
"When is he moving out?" he finally asked, trying for what she could only assume was 'gentle', but coming across as 'irritated' more than anything else. This wasn't really a surprise; he'd always hated Vernon.
Petunia sniffled. "He already has. Apparently he's been planning this for a while." She dabbed again at her eyes with her wrinkled handkerchief, a broken-sounding laugh escaping her. "You know, I'm hurt and angry-and sad, obviously-but more than anything, I'm almost… relieved." She sighed, looking down at her hands. "That's terrible, isn't it?"
"Hardly," Severus said with a snort. She turned to frown at him in surprise. "The man's a tyrant."
"He's not a tyrant," she said, defending Vernon out of habit. "He's just…" she paused, struggling to find the right words, "very stubborn. Set in his ways." When Severus rolled his eyes, she ignored him.
"Shouldn't you be teaching right now?" she asked, changing the subject.
"I cancelled my classes for the rest of the day," he replied. "I doubt the students will complain."
Petunia smirked half-heartedly. "At least someone is getting something good out of all this." With a sigh, she admitted, "I don't know how to do this. This being alone thing. I never have, you know. I've always had my parents or Lily or Vernon. It's… terrifying."
"You have Harry and Dudley," Severus pointed out, speaking more sensibly than she really was inclined to tolerate just now. "You're not alone."
"They're children. It's not the same and you know it," she said quietly.
"You're not alone, Petunia," he repeated pointedly, looking everywhere but at her.
30 July 1991
Harry sneaked a peek out the back window and saw Aunt Petunia busily pulling weeds from a flowerbed. Dudley was upstairs playing on the computer. It seemed like the perfect time.
Tiptoeing into his aunt's bedroom, he crept to the chest of drawers and tugged experimentally on the one drawer that sported a lock. Frowning and checking over his shoulder one more time, he placed his hand over the lock and whispered the spell Draco had taught him. "Alohamora!"
It took three tries, but then he heard the lock click open, and he quickly opened the drawer and pulled out the small jar of Floo powder. Closing the drawer carefully so as not to make any noise, he hurried back downstairs and threw a small pinch of the powder into the fireplace. "Malfoy manor," he said softly. A moment later Draco's dad's head appeared.
"Harry," Mr Malfoy said in greeting. "I take it you're looking for Draco."
"Yes, sir," he answered respectfully-Mr Malfoy liked when people treated him with respect, and while Harry wasn't usually very adept at showing respect to adults, he was just a little bit afraid of his friend's father. Uncle Severus had told him that fear of Lucius Malfoy was a sign of intelligence, and Harry liked when Uncle Severus called him intelligent. It meant more than when Aunt Petunia did it because she was kind of like his mum, and so it didn't really count when she said it. Everyone knew mums couldn't be trusted to tell the truth about things like that; she was always saying that Dudley was handsome and intelligent, too, and Harry couldn't help but feel that she only really believed that because Dudley was her son.
"Is that what I think it is?" Mr Malfoy asked, looking toward Harry's hand, not moving to get Draco.
"Yes, sir," Harry answered again, proudly holding up his Hogwarts letter. "It came this morning."
"And your aunt, what did she have to say about that?" he asked, looking somehow amused in that way he only ever did when talking about Harry's family. Draco said it was because Harry's family was made up of Muggles and Muggles weren't as good as wizards, and even though he had to agree when it came to most Muggles, he did love Aunt Petunia-even if he'd never say as much to Draco because boys weren't supposed to talk about love.
"She was excited," he answered, which wasn't quite true. She'd tried to act excited, but her eyes had been sad, and she'd spent most of the day outside. He'd even seen her crying, and he'd felt awful… but he had to go to Hogwarts. He was going to be a wizard, just like Uncle Severus, just like his real parents. Aunt Petunia might be sad, but he was certain that she was nowhere near as sad as he'd be if he had to go to Smeltings with Dudley.
"Good. At least she understands what's best for a young wizard," Mr Malfoy said with an approving nod, and Harry grinned. "Hold on." The head disappeared from the flames, and then a moment later Draco's appeared in its place.
"Look, I got my letter," Harry told him, holding it out. Draco didn't look impressed.
"Yeah, well, I got mine months ago," he said with a shrug. "We knew you'd get one anyway-you've been doing magic for ages."
Harry tucked the letter into his pocket. "You're still going shopping for school things with me and Uncle Severus, right?"
"Maybe. Mum said she's not sure she wants me going if your aunt's going to be there." Draco wrinkled his nose. "Does she have to come?"
Harry shrugged again. "I think so. She said she wants to, anyway, and Uncle Severus got annoyed with me when I said she shouldn't go because it'd be weird for a Muggle to shop in Diagon Alley."
"Maybe Dad can talk to him…. I'll see what I can do," Draco said imperiously. Just then the sound of the back door opening met Harry's ears, and he waved Draco away.
"Okay, fine. I've got to go. Bye!" The green flames died down, then disappeared just as Aunt Petunia came into the living room. She narrowed her eyes at Harry, then looked at the fireplace, then back again. Holding out her hand, she waited expectantly until he reluctantly moved his hand from behind his back and handed her the small jar of Floo powder.
"I just wanted to tell Draco I got my letter," he whined when she looked like she might yell at him. "I can't call him to tell him things like Dud can with his friends…."
She pursed her lips and was silent for a long moment, and he looked down at the floor, focusing on the toes of his shoes.
"Just ask next time, okay?" she replied with a resigned sigh, tightening the lid on the little jar and depositing it into her pocket. "And stay out of my bedroom, or I'm taking your computer away for a month."
"Okay," he mumbled, trying to look contrite. Really, he didn't care-at Hogwarts he wouldn't be able to use his computer anyway. But he didn't want her to think up any other punishment for him, so he just said, "Can I go?"
"Yes, but stay inside. It's going to rain soon."
He grinned and darted up the stairs. Shaking her head in bemusement at the energy contained inside a nearly eleven-year-old boy, she headed for the kitchen, trying not to think about how Harry would be leaving her soon. The weight of the jar in her pocket was a constant reminder, though, and finally she hid it away again-this time in a high kitchen cupboard, where, with any luck, Harry wouldn't find it for a few weeks.
1 September 1991
"SLYTHERIN!" the hat yelled. Harry leapt up from the stool, barely allowing time for the hat to be plucked off of his head, and nearly ran to the empty seat between Draco and Greg.
Only once he was in his seat did he let himself crane his neck so that he could look over the heads of the other students to meet Uncle Severus's eyes. No, Professor Snape's eyes. He had to get used to thinking of him that way, at least while at school. Professor Snape nodded at him in approval, then turned his attention back to the Sorting.
Harry grinned, letting his eyes drift over the others seated at the head table. He knew who most of them were; Uncle-Professor Snape had told him about them all at one point or another. So he knew it was Albus Dumbledore who was staring at him, his expression unreadable, but disconcerting. Lowering his head back down to hide himself from sight behind the dozens of other students, he shot a confused look at Draco.
"My dad says Dumbledore's just a barmy old fool. Ignore him," Draco said with a shrug. Feeling mildly reassured, Harry turned back to the happenings at the front of the room just in time to see the Weasley boy that Draco had warned him about settling nervously down onto the stool.
"GRYFFINDOR!" the hat shouted almost immediately.
"Surprise, surprise," Draco muttered. Harry muffled a laugh with his hand.
4 September 1991
"Severus?" Petunia only just stopped herself from leaning out the door to see if Harry was lurking somewhere behind him, surprise evident in her expression. "Is everything all right?"
"It's Wednesday," he said, then frowned and started to turn away. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have--"
"No!" she interrupted, suddenly understanding. "No, I was just... I forgot what day it was," she finished lamely, knowing he could hear the lie in her words but not sure what else she could say. "Come in."
He hesitated on the step, and she pushed the door open a few more inches. "Please," she added softly. "It won't be a proper Wednesday without stories of teenage idiocy to laugh over."
Offering her something that was probably supposed to be a smile, but looked strained and awkward from general misuse, Severus nodded and stepped inside.
25 June 1993
"Have you lost your mind?!"
Lucius rolled his eyes, apparently bored in the face of Severus's outrage. "Stop pacing; you're ruining the pile of the rug. Narcissa just had it imported last week."
Severus purposely ground his heel into the carpet before resuming his pacing.
Shaking his head, Lucius just continued in a placating tone, "Be reasonable. The young Dark Lord will eventually figure out how to achieve the power his older self did. And who better to guide him, at this tender age, than the person who orchestrated his resurrection?" He sipped at his drink, and was entirely caught by surprise when the glass was forcefully slapped from his hand, sending brandy and shattered glass flying. Irritation breaking through the calm exterior, he waved his wand and Vanished the mess.
"How long do you expect that he'll be willing to quietly remain here?" Severus asked through gritted teeth. "He'll grow up to be even worse than before!"
Lucius just smirked. "Not all of us were unhappy with the way things were before, my friend." He stood up, reaching out a hand to rest reassuringly on Severus's arm. Severus jerked away, his expression turning even more furious.
"What if someone else brings the Dark Lord-the original one-back? Do you really want to be in the middle of a power struggle between the most powerful wizard alive and himself?"
"Well, I was only trying to help restore him to power in any way I could, wasn't I?" Lucius said, adopting an innocent tone, then laughing. "You worry too much, Severus. This is a good thing."
"And what about Harry?" he snapped. "You're sentencing him to death. Harry. The boy who's been Draco's best friend since they were six!" Just the thought made him even angrier, and it was all he could do to keep from hexing his long-time friend. Only the thought that young Tom Riddle was somewhere in the manor kept him from making too much of a commotion; he didn't want to be anywhere near the freakish child who was already insisting that everyone call him Lord Voldemort.
"The prophecy applied to the older Dark Lord," Lucius said dismissively. "And I've no intention of allowing him to come back-he was entirely too focused on Potter by the end. This Dark Lord is just a boy, barely older than Potter himself. He has no argument with a child, especially if that child will swear loyalty to him, just as any respectable Slytherin should."
Severus's glare only intensified. "Harry will do no such thing. I won't willingly let you lead him down that path." He paced back and forth, his mind reeling.
Lucius shook his head, a bemused expression flitting across his face. "Potter would do well in our Lord's army-a fact of which, I'm sure, you are well aware. Your concern is less for him than it is for his Muggle aunt and disgraceful cousin. Honestly, Severus, I'm rather fond of you, but you must admit that your taste in women has always left something to be desired."
At that, Severus finally lost his temper. In an instant he was across the room, his wand pressed against Lucius's neck. "Stay away from Harry Potter," he said menacingly, "or I promise you, Lucius, I will make sure you regret it." With that, he stormed out of the manor.
Lucius rolled his eyes and poured himself another drink.
12 August 1993
"I wish Dudley could come home before I leave for school," Harry grumbled, leaning with his elbows on the windowsill, staring forlornly at the group of boys riding past on their bicycles.
Petunia sighed. "So do I, dear," she replied, but the truth was, she didn't. Dudley was safer where he was. If she'd had her choice, both boys, along with herself, would be elsewhere right now. With Sirius Black on the run, nowhere felt safe. She'd sent Dudley to his father's, where-as he'd very miserably informed her the night before-he was suffering through a visit from Marge. Petunia couldn't stand Marge, so she certainly didn't envy Dudley his relative freedom, despite having been trapped inside the house with a very moody and unhappy Harry for the last week.
Severus had shown up in the middle of the night, practically shaking with rage at Sirius's escape-Petunia certainly understood that; Severus had told her what Sirius had done to Lily and her husband. What he'd caused. She couldn't help but hate Sirius, though she suspected Severus hated him even more.
Severus's sources said that Sirius may be heading to Hogwarts, so the idea of sending Harry there before school was back in session had been discarded quickly. Instead, Severus had cast spells and charms to protect the house from anyone but her, Harry, Dudley and himself from entering, forced Portkeys of questionable legality into her hands with strict instructions to always have one in her pocket and make sure Harry carried one, practically ordered her to send Dudley to Vernon's house, and then stormed out, only to return each night to make sure that no one was lurking around. Petunia wasn't honestly sure whether Severus was more interested in protecting her and Harry, or recapturing Sirius Black.
"Why don't you go play on your computer for a while?" she suggested. Harry slumped his shoulders forward and sighed, obviously disinterested. "It's better than just staring out the window all day…."
"I'll just listen to my new CD. Again," he muttered, trudging across the room and up the stairs. She shook her head and sighed, turning back to her most recent dilemma-how to get the milk inside. She'd slipped just an arm out the door to put out the milk bottles early in the morning, but when she'd gone to retrieve the new milk from the step, she'd found a stray dog sleeping between it and the door. She'd waited a little while, hoping he'd leave, but so far he hadn't shown any signs of even being awake, let alone having any intentions of going away. It had been nearly an hour now, and it was a hot day; she had to do something soon, or the milk would spoil. Calling someone to come deal with the dog may not work with all the protection spells that had been cast on the house.
Finally, tired of waiting for the dog to leave on his own, she got a broom and opened the door a crack, nudging the dog with the broom handle. "Go on, get out of here," she commanded, turning the broom to try to push the dog off the step with the wider end. The dog raised its head and stared at her dispassionately, but didn't budge.
With a groan of frustration, she stepped closer, placing one foot outside the door and pushing harder. "Shoo!"
More staring.
Pursing her lips in irritation, she moved closer again and swatted at the dog with the broom. "Just move! You can come back in a minute," she offered, feeling ridiculous. She was talking to a dog, of all things. But at least if she could get him to get out of the way, she could get her milk and then talk Severus into chasing him off later.
She again swatted at the dog with the broom, trying to coax him into moving, and was about to yell at him to please just get up already, but the words turned into a shout of surprise as the dog suddenly leapt up and jumped against her, knocking her backward through the door. She threw her hands up to protect her face, sure she was about to be bitten, but the dog just jumped over her sprawled legs and landed inside the house. She scrambled to stand up, but froze in horror as the dog shifted and changed, hands sprouting where paws had been, hair sagging away and becoming clothes, until Sirius Black himself was standing just feet away from her. He was thinner than she remembered, and seemed to have aged more years than he really should have, but she'd have recognised him in an instant even if his picture hadn't been all over the telly just days ago.
"You always were the sort to hit a dog," he growled out, his voice hoarse and raspy, and she jerked out of her shock, bringing her quickly to her feet.
She nearly yelled for Harry to run, but stopped herself, knowing it would only alert Sirius to Harry's whereabouts faster. He'd gone to listen to his music; she couldn't hear it, so he was undoubtedly wearing his headphones. Many occurrences of having to go into his room and actually remove his headphones in order to get his attention had taught her that even shouting from his doorway was usually pointless; he wouldn't hear her.
"What do you want?" she asked instead, trying to sound less terrified than she felt and failing. "You don't have any business being here. Get out of my house."
"Where's Harry?" he asked, ignoring her words. He looked around as if expecting to see the boy standing there, and the wild, mad look in his eyes made a shiver of fear run up Petunia's spine.
Casting around for the right thing to say, she finally answered, "Hogwarts, where he's safe from you."
He let out a low growl, sounding like the dog he'd been just a moment ago, drawing close enough to her that she stumbled backwards, pressed against the wall. Up close, he smelled of filth and old sweat. She grimaced. "I just saw him in the window. Don't lie to me. Where is he?" When she only stared at him, defiantly silent despite her terror, he took a step back and held his hands out to his sides. "Petunia, I just want to see my godson. It's my job to protect him. Tell me, or I'll just find him myself."
"Protect him like you protected his parents?" she ground out, trying to stall for time. Before she had a moment to react, Sirius leapt at her, pulling a long knife out of his pocket and pressing it threateningly against her throat.
"Don't you dare!" he shouted as she froze in place, tears rolling down her cheeks. "You know nothing, Petunia! Nothing. I would never have hurt them. Never!"
With a gasping sob, she whispered, "Please... please just go. Harry's fine here. Please-" She never finished the sentence. A door opened upstairs, and Sirius's head spun around, all of his attention now focused on the sound. A second later, Harry wandered around the corner, dropping his CD player to the ground when he saw what was going on at the bottom of the stairs.
"Go!" Petunia screamed at him, sending him running down the hall. Sirius started up the stairs, and Petunia dashed after him and grabbed his ankle, trying to pull him back, to allow time for Harry to escape. Sirius kicked backwards, knocking her down to the bottom of the steps, and her head connected painfully with the railing. She struggled to her feet, ignoring the pain radiating from the side of her head, not allowing herself to think about the blood that seemed to instantly run down through her hair and onto her shirt. A wave of dizziness made the room spin, and she forced herself another step closer to the stairs before collapsing onto the bottom step.
The Portkey, she reminded herself, shaking her head to try to regain her focus and finding herself rewarded with only more pain. Reaching into her pocket, she tightened her grip around the little marble Severus had given her. He'd said to hold it for fifteen seconds-a precaution put in place after Harry accidentally Portkeyed himself to the Hogwarts dungeons while getting dressed two days go. Fifteen seconds seemed like an eternity now, and her stomach turned dangerously as she heard Sirius's footsteps thunder back down the hallway, coming her way.
"Where did he-" he began to say, but then stopped when he saw her, muttering an irritated, "Fuck," as he came down the steps. She scrambled away from him, mentally counting. Only a few more seconds....
"Would you stop? I just want to-" he said, reaching for her, then narrowed his eyes and grabbed her wrist, pulling her hand out of her pocket and prying her fingers away from the marble. It dropped to the floor and rolled away, and Petunia choked back an angry sob. Out of options, she struggled to pull her arm out of his grasp.
"Calm down! I'm just trying to see," he demanded, reaching toward her head with the hand still loosely holding the knife.
"NO!" she screamed, kicking wildly until she felt her foot make contact with his shin. He groaned in pain, releasing her arm, and she twisted around, reaching desperately for the marble. She'd nearly closed her hand around it when she heard the most beautiful, wonderful sound she'd ever heard in her life-the CRACK of Apparition. She looked up to find Severus standing in her living room.
After taking one look at her, lying on the blood-splattered floor, Severus raised his wand and pointed it at Sirius.
"Snivellus?! " Sirius bit out, but at the sight of the wand pointed in his direction, he held up his knife. Without warning, a bolt of green light soared over Petunia's head, and Sirius silently fell to the ground, collapsing across her legs, the knife clattering harmlessly to the floor.
Petunia screamed, scrambling against the body that pinned her down, and then Severus was at her side, shoving Sirius away and helping her sit up. He pointed his wand at the floor, and white mist flowed out of it, forming into what looked like a small animal made of mist. "Shacklebolt, I have Sirius Black. Number Four, Privet Drive, Little Whinging," he said to it, waving it away. It bounded through the closed door, and Petunia blinked in surprise, her heart still racing.
Severus turned his attention to the cut on her head, prodding at it and then lifting his wand. A tingling sensation ran over her skin. "Aurors will be here in a moment; I have to wait for them. Harry will be safe at the school for now," he told her. She nodded, willing her hands to stop shaking.
"Is he… dead?" she finally asked, pointedly refusing to look at Sirius.
"Yes," Severus answered, his voice tight and tense.
Petunia shuddered. Unsure what else to say, she just added, "Was that thing a squirrel?"
"It was a message," he replied. "Hold still."
Forcing herself to stop moving while Severus healed her throbbing head, she just closed her eyes.
"Are messages always squirrels?"
Severus paused in his movements, but when she opened her eyes to look at him, he quickly turned away, focusing back on his wand. She didn't think he was going to answer, but after a moment, he said quietly, "Only recently."
Part Three