Life's a bitch, then you die.
I felt the urge and decided to walk down the trail that cuts through the land behind me. I wasn't particularly ready for a long walk. I just felt something calling me, and I went for it. I felt like the answer was out there and I had to go look for it. To what question, I didn't know. At first it was just a normal brisk pace. I walked forward, down, up, and through without stopping. It was getting dark before I slowed to think about what I was doing. Too dark to turn back. I looked out at the sea thinking I could see something out there that would guide me, but there was nothing. I walked forward. The path was getting hard to see, but I was sure I was still on it. I stepped into a stream, and drank some water from it. Great. Now my foot was wet. I was tired too, but I just couldn't stop. I kept feeling like I'd see something just around each bend in the path. When the sun was far gone, I kept going. At that point I wasn't even sure if I was on the path, or if there was still a path. I kept going all night. It really is coldest just before dawn. The chill was almost too much for me. I gritted my teeth and kept on. Eventually it did warm up. The sun was already high in the sky before I could feel my hands. Everything out there was so quiet. I couldn't even hear the birds or the wind. There was nothing. It was getting hard to keep going. I thought about that for a long time, still moving slowly forward. I was in a low part of the land, and eventually decided to climb down a few large rocks to the beach. I found a soft spot on the sand that was shaded by a tree, and let myself fall there. Instantly I fell asleep.
I slept hard.
I awoke in the water. Far off in the water. Nowhere near land, so I swam. I don't even know how I got there. Did the tide take me out, or did I swim out there in my sleep? I didn't know which way to go, I just did my best to go in a straight line. Even out there I felt like I was going towards some sort of answer. That's what pulled me to go forward. I swam longer than I'd ever swam before. I grew tired. Not just physically, but mentally too. I wasn't even sure if I was really swimming or not. It was a struggle, and I kept going until I blacked out. I woke up on the sand, wet and tired. My skin was burnt. I crawled up the rocks and found myself under my busted up deck. I went around to the front and climbed in the window, and tore my clothes off. I was too tired to shower. I just put on some clean clothes and poured myself a drink.
Still no answers. Life does that to you. Puts you on a mission to seek out some sort of truth, only it never gives it to you. All that for nothing. I'm right back where I was before only tired, sore, and slightly traumatized.