This is a madhouse. Feels like a being cloned.
Sometimes I forget that I'm in the present. I was drinking last night and stepped out on the deck, only going out on the deck isn't like it was back in the day. Now days you just don't go out on the deck, or what's left of it. I fell. It hurt a lot.
I used to spend a lot of evenings out on that deck. It was perfect in the spring time. Now that it's spring again, the salty air calls to me. I want to go out and breath it in. Tonight I did it more cautiously. I climbed out the back window, walked around to the front, and carefully inched my way down the cliff to the beach. It wasn't that long of a way down. Not as long as it used to be. From the beach I looked across the water. I could see all the lights shining from the far away houses. I wonder if I'm really better off here than there with all the people? Sometimes just having a conversation with a person can put your mind in perspective. Most of the time though, it just puts my mind ill at ease. In that world there is the Dow Jones, run-off elections, televangelists, SUVs, waxed mustaches, and augmented reality. Out here no one is watching me. Nobody knows what I'm doing. I don't even know what I'm doing.