Life Goes On
Hey LJers. How have you been since Sunday? Well, I hope. I don't know about your weather, but it's really hot and sucky here, ugh. That aside things have been going pretty okay for me.
I'm still a little broken over the whole breakup thing, but I'm slowly getting better each day. Monday was the worst, but I'm happy I have my mother and brother to help cheer me up. Sometimes I'm all happy and fine and getting back to costume work and getting stuff done. Other times I feel cold and limp and lifeless and just want to lay down and cry. I can honestly say that I've never known what real depression feels like until now, and that my deepest sympathies go out to those who suffer from it clinically. It's an awful feeling.
I think my mom is helping me the most through all this. She's always helped teach me life lessons growing up. And they're not the "Men are dirt" lessons you'd think either, haha. It's mostly stuff about character (or lackthereof, in this case) and things like that. She's really good at looking at the big picture. I'm real thankful I have a good parent to teach me this sort of thing so I'm not forced to figure it all out on my own.
My Anthrocon work is going pretty fine. The occassional fit of depression over the last few days has been messing with productivity a bit, but things are getting done. I have one suit to finish, and 2 1/2 pieces of art to do for the art show (one was already half done). I'm feeling really good about my business. Sure, I still need to find a separate job after my trip to San Diego next month is all said and done, but I still feel I'm going to be a success. Things are looking up, I think!
In other life-changing news, I resigned from my position as moderator of The Furst State yesterday. I enjoyed it immensely, and loved the people I worked with, but I kind of feel my time with the fandom (as I am now, anyway) is done. Or needs to be done, anyway. I didn't think I'd get this feeling for another few years, at least. But the breakup with Sam (who's also furry) kind of sprung me into it. The next furry event I plan on going to is Further Confusion in January, and maybe the NYC Halloween parade with rapidtrabbit and friends.
This descicion made me strangely happy yesterday. I feel... I dunno, free in a strange sort of way. Free to start chasing my dreams again. It's a very good thing. =] To reflect my new less-furry-ness, I'll be changing my LJ username soon-ish. Speaking of which, would any of you be so kind as to donate some of those newfangled LJ tokens to me so that I might purchase a rename token? I'll be your best friend. Oh, and art too, if you'd like that.
Well, that was a long entry. Time to go walk the dog and start my day. It will be a good day if I make it one!
P.S. I often use video games as a coping mechanism is sad. My game of choice this time is Crash Bandicoot. It's haaaarrrrrd. D=
I'm still a little broken over the whole breakup thing, but I'm slowly getting better each day. Monday was the worst, but I'm happy I have my mother and brother to help cheer me up. Sometimes I'm all happy and fine and getting back to costume work and getting stuff done. Other times I feel cold and limp and lifeless and just want to lay down and cry. I can honestly say that I've never known what real depression feels like until now, and that my deepest sympathies go out to those who suffer from it clinically. It's an awful feeling.
I think my mom is helping me the most through all this. She's always helped teach me life lessons growing up. And they're not the "Men are dirt" lessons you'd think either, haha. It's mostly stuff about character (or lackthereof, in this case) and things like that. She's really good at looking at the big picture. I'm real thankful I have a good parent to teach me this sort of thing so I'm not forced to figure it all out on my own.
My Anthrocon work is going pretty fine. The occassional fit of depression over the last few days has been messing with productivity a bit, but things are getting done. I have one suit to finish, and 2 1/2 pieces of art to do for the art show (one was already half done). I'm feeling really good about my business. Sure, I still need to find a separate job after my trip to San Diego next month is all said and done, but I still feel I'm going to be a success. Things are looking up, I think!
In other life-changing news, I resigned from my position as moderator of The Furst State yesterday. I enjoyed it immensely, and loved the people I worked with, but I kind of feel my time with the fandom (as I am now, anyway) is done. Or needs to be done, anyway. I didn't think I'd get this feeling for another few years, at least. But the breakup with Sam (who's also furry) kind of sprung me into it. The next furry event I plan on going to is Further Confusion in January, and maybe the NYC Halloween parade with rapidtrabbit and friends.
This descicion made me strangely happy yesterday. I feel... I dunno, free in a strange sort of way. Free to start chasing my dreams again. It's a very good thing. =] To reflect my new less-furry-ness, I'll be changing my LJ username soon-ish. Speaking of which, would any of you be so kind as to donate some of those newfangled LJ tokens to me so that I might purchase a rename token? I'll be your best friend. Oh, and art too, if you'd like that.
Well, that was a long entry. Time to go walk the dog and start my day. It will be a good day if I make it one!
P.S. I often use video games as a coping mechanism is sad. My game of choice this time is Crash Bandicoot. It's haaaarrrrrd. D=