I'm so sick, so sick of myself

[jackalee]

Ever since high school, with very few exceptions, it seems as though everyone I’ve legitimately liked finds themselves attracted to someone else. Many times, these “someone elses” turn out to be my friends, and the two will more than likely explore dating each other, even after knowing how I feel. To make matters worse, those that are attracted

Comments

I can relate

[sinderswirl]

My very first crush ended up dating one of my friends, I had no intention of going after him, so she did and I couldn't really say anything about it, they ended up dating for like 6 years or something. My next/at the same time crush ended up dating a different friend of mine about a year after that. One of these girls was the very pretty girl with a reputation as a slut who has always gotten exactly who she wanted, the other was a not so pretty, always desperate for a man type of slut. So basically you have to be a slut I guess.
After highschool I basically only develop crushes on people that are already taken in some way. I've struggled and been torn with how I feel about the whole issue with friends crushes and going after friends crushes, because I've actually been on both sides and understand both sides. It KILLS to know someone you like likes one of your friends, worse than anyone else because then you have to SEE it and HEAR about it and each time it's like a dagger in your heart. At the same time it's like if I feel for someone that feels something for me, it's hard to pass it up, what if that's THE one.
Anyway, I've felt the same way, it's embarrassing to think back to all the things I made myself and all the ways I acted to climb out of the web of refusal and rejection you speak of.

Re: I can relate

[jackalee]

Yeah, I definitely understand both sides of it too, and it doesn't always bother me this much. I've just been having a rough time lately is all. And let's face it, when one of your closest friends is the one they find attractive, and the friend isn't discouraging it even though they aren't going to ever date them kinda sucks.

Whatever, on a happier note, I ended up having an unexpected lunch date today, so we'll see what happens there. haha.