10 Years Ago
it's the 10th anniversary of 9/11. everywhere i look there are retrospectives and reflections - "what were you doing/thinking 10 years ago?"
i know what i was doing. the events of that day are etched strongly into my memory. elders say they remember exactly where they were and what they were doing when they heard that JFK had been assassinated. i think that 9/11 has become that indelible event for the following generations. and for a very similar reason.
i remember where i was - working at the college i had just gradated from 3 months before. stopping in at various offices on my morning rounds and gradually seeing the news get worse and worse as i made my way to my office. speaking with people who were becoming increasingly panicked and distrought. wondering how all my friends and family who lived in Manhattan were doing.
i remember the faces, and the people, and the exact color of the carpet in the office that i stared at as i tried in vain to call cell phones that weren't answering. all of that is firmly there, probably forever, like a scar on my mind.
but that's not really the significance that 9/11 has for me. the day itself...the events...all of them are simply a moment in time. instead, i look back on the last ten years and see the country i live in and the world i grew into slowly slide into ruin and disaster. i have watched civil liberties eroded, and the very foundation of what it means to be an American slowly chipped away by an increasingly brazen conservative minority using the horror and outrage of 9/11 as a source of seemingly unlimited fuel for their forges to reshape America into their own vision.
i say "America" here instead of "The United States" because the one reflects culture and identity while the other reflects a political state. and while both have been under attack for the last ten years, it is the American culture, dream and ideal that has taken the most damage.
ten years ago i was a fresh college graduate, ready to enter the world of unlimited promise and prosperity that i had been watching through all my years of growing up. now that world is gone, probably forever. my eternal present has remained rocky and my future uncertain. there is probably a good chance that i will leave this world no richer than i came into it. there is probably a good chance that my own personal prosperity will never improve beyond my current state. there is probably a good chance that the world as i know it - the birds and the air and the oceans and the trees and the beasts - will no longer exist by the time i am put into the ground. there is probably a very good chance that the United States of America as we currently understand it today will no longer exist by the time the children i very likely will not have are old enough to say a Pledge of Allegiance to...something...in schools.
would this be the world i lived in if the response to the terrorist attack on 9/11 had not been what it was? possibly. the people who are working feverishly to reshape America into a land of opportunity only for them have always been here, and will always be here. there will always be people who seek to erase the idea of "Liberty And Justice For All" from the minds of those people who call this nation home. perhaps things would be just as bad now without the Towers coming down. after all, we had already elected a President who was steering the nation in that direction.
but i wonder if things would have gotten this bad without that explosive fuel that erupted from the airplanes on a beautiful morning in September. i wonder if we would still be in the position we are today if our vision had not been so clouded by the torrent of ash and metal that rained down on a terrified people. i wonder if we would be facing the problems we face today if the voices of reason had not been drowned out by the screams of those crying for blood so that they could more conveniently line their pockets with gold.
that is what 9/11 means to me, and i think about it every single time i see a new news article that proves how far we've fallen and how bottomless the pit we're plummeting into seems to be. For me, that day has stretched out into a never-ending day that's lasted 10 years and seems set to last another 50. If the memory of the day is a scar, then the results have been like a broken limb set improerly and healed badly.
we limp into the future.
i know what i was doing. the events of that day are etched strongly into my memory. elders say they remember exactly where they were and what they were doing when they heard that JFK had been assassinated. i think that 9/11 has become that indelible event for the following generations. and for a very similar reason.
i remember where i was - working at the college i had just gradated from 3 months before. stopping in at various offices on my morning rounds and gradually seeing the news get worse and worse as i made my way to my office. speaking with people who were becoming increasingly panicked and distrought. wondering how all my friends and family who lived in Manhattan were doing.
i remember the faces, and the people, and the exact color of the carpet in the office that i stared at as i tried in vain to call cell phones that weren't answering. all of that is firmly there, probably forever, like a scar on my mind.
but that's not really the significance that 9/11 has for me. the day itself...the events...all of them are simply a moment in time. instead, i look back on the last ten years and see the country i live in and the world i grew into slowly slide into ruin and disaster. i have watched civil liberties eroded, and the very foundation of what it means to be an American slowly chipped away by an increasingly brazen conservative minority using the horror and outrage of 9/11 as a source of seemingly unlimited fuel for their forges to reshape America into their own vision.
i say "America" here instead of "The United States" because the one reflects culture and identity while the other reflects a political state. and while both have been under attack for the last ten years, it is the American culture, dream and ideal that has taken the most damage.
ten years ago i was a fresh college graduate, ready to enter the world of unlimited promise and prosperity that i had been watching through all my years of growing up. now that world is gone, probably forever. my eternal present has remained rocky and my future uncertain. there is probably a good chance that i will leave this world no richer than i came into it. there is probably a good chance that my own personal prosperity will never improve beyond my current state. there is probably a good chance that the world as i know it - the birds and the air and the oceans and the trees and the beasts - will no longer exist by the time i am put into the ground. there is probably a very good chance that the United States of America as we currently understand it today will no longer exist by the time the children i very likely will not have are old enough to say a Pledge of Allegiance to...something...in schools.
would this be the world i lived in if the response to the terrorist attack on 9/11 had not been what it was? possibly. the people who are working feverishly to reshape America into a land of opportunity only for them have always been here, and will always be here. there will always be people who seek to erase the idea of "Liberty And Justice For All" from the minds of those people who call this nation home. perhaps things would be just as bad now without the Towers coming down. after all, we had already elected a President who was steering the nation in that direction.
but i wonder if things would have gotten this bad without that explosive fuel that erupted from the airplanes on a beautiful morning in September. i wonder if we would still be in the position we are today if our vision had not been so clouded by the torrent of ash and metal that rained down on a terrified people. i wonder if we would be facing the problems we face today if the voices of reason had not been drowned out by the screams of those crying for blood so that they could more conveniently line their pockets with gold.
that is what 9/11 means to me, and i think about it every single time i see a new news article that proves how far we've fallen and how bottomless the pit we're plummeting into seems to be. For me, that day has stretched out into a never-ending day that's lasted 10 years and seems set to last another 50. If the memory of the day is a scar, then the results have been like a broken limb set improerly and healed badly.
we limp into the future.