I think this is called 'displacement'
I'm wigging out and I'm not sure what to do.
This is insane. I know I did the right thing breaking up with Jesse. He lied about a man being a sex offender. I know I can't stay with someone like that.
But now I'm alone. It's freeing to not have a relationship to worry about, but now I'm alone. Again.
I'm selfish. I don't even appreciate the dear friends that I've gained. I'm incredibly lucky. But now it's just worry and guilt and lots of other things. I can't stop going over it in my head. Was I out of line? (no, I was not. I was straight forward and I didn't tell him to get out of my life forever.) Did I do the right thing? (yes, of course I did.) Was it really worth breaking up over? (Yes, it really was. This wasn't a small time offense and if he did it once he would do it again.)
I know I did the right thing. Why do I feel like throwing up?
But now I'm taking it out on things that don't matter. I know the feeling of my brain running around trying not to think about something and this is it. I'm worrying myself stupid over the current (declining) direction of EverymanHYBRID, of a Hollywood celebrity relationship that doesn't affect me. (It is a toxic relationship, but I can't do anything to fix that and it's foolish to be hung up over it.) I'm avoiding my homework -- not because it's hard but because it would mean concentrating on one thing for a long time. It's hard enough just to get this all down.
I don't know what's wrong.
This is insane. I know I did the right thing breaking up with Jesse. He lied about a man being a sex offender. I know I can't stay with someone like that.
But now I'm alone. It's freeing to not have a relationship to worry about, but now I'm alone. Again.
I'm selfish. I don't even appreciate the dear friends that I've gained. I'm incredibly lucky. But now it's just worry and guilt and lots of other things. I can't stop going over it in my head. Was I out of line? (no, I was not. I was straight forward and I didn't tell him to get out of my life forever.) Did I do the right thing? (yes, of course I did.) Was it really worth breaking up over? (Yes, it really was. This wasn't a small time offense and if he did it once he would do it again.)
I know I did the right thing. Why do I feel like throwing up?
But now I'm taking it out on things that don't matter. I know the feeling of my brain running around trying not to think about something and this is it. I'm worrying myself stupid over the current (declining) direction of EverymanHYBRID, of a Hollywood celebrity relationship that doesn't affect me. (It is a toxic relationship, but I can't do anything to fix that and it's foolish to be hung up over it.) I'm avoiding my homework -- not because it's hard but because it would mean concentrating on one thing for a long time. It's hard enough just to get this all down.
I don't know what's wrong.