04 fo sho
as the new year approaches, i can not help thinking of the past. what a great life i have and how i will miss what is now behind me.
2003 is a year that has given me many gifts and many opportunities. 2003 was the biggest year of growth i have ever had.
i will never be the same person again. i will never be in the same situations again.
i remember last year. a year ago. when i would say, my life now started to start (if that makes sense). with lauren and carolyn. i miss those kids a lot. i mean, i never heang out with them anymore. boys have gotten in the way.
january 4th marks the day my "new life" started. with jake. and god, i miss jake. a lot. i miss who jake was and what he meant to me. i miss a lot about him. and i realize as i sit here typing, i am kind of an equivalent to who jake was at the time when i was seeing him. i wasnt ready for jake when he came. hell, i couldnt handle the rain. jake was like a fucking storm.
i want to see him. we have unfinished business. but i dont want to see him, because i think i will be dissapointed by the person he is now. we are both different. i am ever-grateful i met him and ever-grateful for the great times we had.
i miss the memories. and i just wish those times could repeat. perhaps they will with someone else. but i am very unsure they will before college. and i really dont want to date in college. in college, you dont sneak out, you dont drive 10 miles to see your boyfriend down woodward smoking a parliament light and listening to "gossip folks."
i love the person i am today. i love everything about myself and probably wouldnt change anything. its just times have changed so much. theres no thrill of the chase anymore with smoking cigarettes or pot. i have become a different person. i am devirginized.... the thrill of the first time is gone for a lot of things. though, there are always new things to experience.
things i did in 2003:
1) made amazing friendships
2) got into a shitload of trouble
3) have my parents accept me
4) lost virginity
5) started smoking
6) smoked real pot
7) threw kick ass parties
8) had fun
9) there are other things but i am running late for meghan's party (where i will be staying tonight)
its funny how much my friends have changed and it makes me scared how much my friendships evolve and seperate.
speaking about friendships, what about john zervos?
i miss john terribly. like woah. john and i were best friends (very close) back in middle school and the start of high school. we thought we would be best friends forever and one day we just stopped being friends. it was sad and it becmes more sad for me today. i dont know if i want to be friends again, but i want some closure. three years of being best friends is really intense just to end one day. i miss having someone to be that close to. i hate being thrid wheel now. i wish john and i could be like alix and emily are. like, attatched at the hip. i havent had anyone like that since john. i have kind of been another friendfor eveyrone, not a best friend.
this is the last new year of high school and while it is clice to be upset about it, it is easy to. part of me does not want to let go of the year. part of me does. the future will bring many new things and many old things. the best thing i can wish for is happiness.
in the words of my favorite teacher ever, joan ferguson, 8th grade social studies teacher:
"may the worst you get be the best you dream."
happy new year to friends, lovers, flings of passion, material objects, enemies, and objects of affection!
love
jack
2003 is a year that has given me many gifts and many opportunities. 2003 was the biggest year of growth i have ever had.
i will never be the same person again. i will never be in the same situations again.
i remember last year. a year ago. when i would say, my life now started to start (if that makes sense). with lauren and carolyn. i miss those kids a lot. i mean, i never heang out with them anymore. boys have gotten in the way.
january 4th marks the day my "new life" started. with jake. and god, i miss jake. a lot. i miss who jake was and what he meant to me. i miss a lot about him. and i realize as i sit here typing, i am kind of an equivalent to who jake was at the time when i was seeing him. i wasnt ready for jake when he came. hell, i couldnt handle the rain. jake was like a fucking storm.
i want to see him. we have unfinished business. but i dont want to see him, because i think i will be dissapointed by the person he is now. we are both different. i am ever-grateful i met him and ever-grateful for the great times we had.
i miss the memories. and i just wish those times could repeat. perhaps they will with someone else. but i am very unsure they will before college. and i really dont want to date in college. in college, you dont sneak out, you dont drive 10 miles to see your boyfriend down woodward smoking a parliament light and listening to "gossip folks."
i love the person i am today. i love everything about myself and probably wouldnt change anything. its just times have changed so much. theres no thrill of the chase anymore with smoking cigarettes or pot. i have become a different person. i am devirginized.... the thrill of the first time is gone for a lot of things. though, there are always new things to experience.
things i did in 2003:
1) made amazing friendships
2) got into a shitload of trouble
3) have my parents accept me
4) lost virginity
5) started smoking
6) smoked real pot
7) threw kick ass parties
8) had fun
9) there are other things but i am running late for meghan's party (where i will be staying tonight)
its funny how much my friends have changed and it makes me scared how much my friendships evolve and seperate.
speaking about friendships, what about john zervos?
i miss john terribly. like woah. john and i were best friends (very close) back in middle school and the start of high school. we thought we would be best friends forever and one day we just stopped being friends. it was sad and it becmes more sad for me today. i dont know if i want to be friends again, but i want some closure. three years of being best friends is really intense just to end one day. i miss having someone to be that close to. i hate being thrid wheel now. i wish john and i could be like alix and emily are. like, attatched at the hip. i havent had anyone like that since john. i have kind of been another friendfor eveyrone, not a best friend.
this is the last new year of high school and while it is clice to be upset about it, it is easy to. part of me does not want to let go of the year. part of me does. the future will bring many new things and many old things. the best thing i can wish for is happiness.
in the words of my favorite teacher ever, joan ferguson, 8th grade social studies teacher:
"may the worst you get be the best you dream."
happy new year to friends, lovers, flings of passion, material objects, enemies, and objects of affection!
love
jack