god did me a favor tonight
i gave up on the whole god thing a couple years ago. i never believed in him, i made fun of a lot of people for being bible humpers or whatever.
tonight my whole belief system did a 360.
i worked open house with julianne, and as usual she told me to come to youth group with her. i said my passive "oh" as i normally do and kept on talking to parents. i left school at 7:30. youth group started at 7:00. for some reason, i took maple home even though i wanted to get home quickly and i passed the lutheran church where julianne was. i never made a decision to go, but for some reason i just drove into the parking lot. i didnt even think about it, i just went. i didnt plan on it or anything. in fact, i didnt even mean to pull into the church.
as i finished my cigarette, i got out of the car and walked in the doors. i saw julianne and sat down next to her. she was so shoked to actually see me but was glad i was there. we started talking and discussing things and everything just clicked.
i think god sent me there for a reason.
the discussion was about drinking and drunkedness and how it is bad. we discussed the empty feeling that drinking gives you and how its something easy to fill yourself with. we talked about dependence and disobeying the law and what god actually wants for all of us. everything made sense. i knew i was sent there for a reason.
the night continued, and i just couldnt get enough of it. its wonderful stuff that im just devouring.
i dont think i want to give up drinking or smoking drugs or anything like that, but at the end of the night the guy told us to write down a promise to ourselves. mine was:
promise to myself:
I WILL COME HERE
i want to be able to have fun in other ways than drinking/smoking pot/doing whippets/using prescription drugs/smoking cigarettes. i dont want to gain anyone's acceptance through this like i have/tried to in the past. i want to have dun everyday without the help of these things. dont let cigarettes have control over me. dont let drinking have control over my livelihood. dont let substances make me worship them.
everything we read about and everything that was said applied to me and i just feel so pure and so much better now. being filled with the spirit of god, i guess. let's face it. the weekends where booze isnt involved, im a miserable person. ive stepped up and i am going to fill myself with other things.
im not quite ready to give up drinking all together, especially not on homecoming, but i am ready to let god talk to me. as creepy as that sounds.
i dont mean to put anyone off by this, because i know that i would have written the person off as a phyco before this, but i truly feel like god talked to me tonight.
is it any sign that i picked out at random a white shirt and white shorts to wear to bed?
tonight my whole belief system did a 360.
i worked open house with julianne, and as usual she told me to come to youth group with her. i said my passive "oh" as i normally do and kept on talking to parents. i left school at 7:30. youth group started at 7:00. for some reason, i took maple home even though i wanted to get home quickly and i passed the lutheran church where julianne was. i never made a decision to go, but for some reason i just drove into the parking lot. i didnt even think about it, i just went. i didnt plan on it or anything. in fact, i didnt even mean to pull into the church.
as i finished my cigarette, i got out of the car and walked in the doors. i saw julianne and sat down next to her. she was so shoked to actually see me but was glad i was there. we started talking and discussing things and everything just clicked.
i think god sent me there for a reason.
the discussion was about drinking and drunkedness and how it is bad. we discussed the empty feeling that drinking gives you and how its something easy to fill yourself with. we talked about dependence and disobeying the law and what god actually wants for all of us. everything made sense. i knew i was sent there for a reason.
the night continued, and i just couldnt get enough of it. its wonderful stuff that im just devouring.
i dont think i want to give up drinking or smoking drugs or anything like that, but at the end of the night the guy told us to write down a promise to ourselves. mine was:
promise to myself:
I WILL COME HERE
i want to be able to have fun in other ways than drinking/smoking pot/doing whippets/using prescription drugs/smoking cigarettes. i dont want to gain anyone's acceptance through this like i have/tried to in the past. i want to have dun everyday without the help of these things. dont let cigarettes have control over me. dont let drinking have control over my livelihood. dont let substances make me worship them.
everything we read about and everything that was said applied to me and i just feel so pure and so much better now. being filled with the spirit of god, i guess. let's face it. the weekends where booze isnt involved, im a miserable person. ive stepped up and i am going to fill myself with other things.
im not quite ready to give up drinking all together, especially not on homecoming, but i am ready to let god talk to me. as creepy as that sounds.
i dont mean to put anyone off by this, because i know that i would have written the person off as a phyco before this, but i truly feel like god talked to me tonight.
is it any sign that i picked out at random a white shirt and white shorts to wear to bed?