No pluck for you!
I know I've been extremely busy these past few days. Okay a week or two. But I've needed to do all the work that I have been to hopefully raise enough money for the new apt. Not only have I been doing a lot of work, but a lot of thinking as well. I've come to a few decisions that i don't know how many or who of you are going to like or even care about.
The first one being, I am not going back to school this semester, or any semester again. I have come to the decision that it's a waste of my time and money. Both which i could spend doing better things. I say this b/c I know I don't have what it takes to be a performer. Especially a classical performer. I dont think that I could do what i would need to to make it big in new york or where else I might decide to try. Nor could I teach in a school. This is not something that I would ever want to do. Really. Never. I used to think that i could and that i did want to, but I know that i couldn't ever teach in a school. What I DO want to do concerning music is teach private voice lessons. however, in order for me to do that, I need to be able to play piano. Not just the little plunking that i normally do, but play. At least enough to be able to get through a piece and show the student what it is. I don't want to be one of those teachers that uses a cd or tape and calls it good nor do I want to have to hire an accompianist. So, along the lines of not going to school. i will still be taking my voice lessons, and hopefully i will be taking piano lessons as well to help me on my way to the goal of teaching voice.
My next decision was that I want to be a nanny. Not just the normal nannying that I've been doing about 3 or 4 times a week. I want to work as a nanny 8am-6pm. Even if it's not strait through. I want to have something in the morning, and again in the afternoon. Hopefully this will be taken care of soon. I am hoping that I'll have the boys in the afternoons this year and then, I went and interviewed at another family's house today, for a job in the morning. Idealy this would be 8-12 and then 2;30-6p every day. I am hoping. This with my Old Navy job on the side would be plenty fine for me. I like Old Navy a lot. I very much enjoy the discount. And I love the people there. Even if, and i know there's a lot of people there that are a bit on the defensive side towards me, though I'm not really sure why...
I also need to be alone for a good while. A lot of people are wondering why i'm getting an apt that puts me so far away from portland and i'm getting it alone. Well, first off, it was the cheapest I could find. unfortunately it also the farthest away. I wish i could've found something in Freeport or Falmouth or someplace closer north but I couldn't. I have decided that this next year is going to be a rather difficult one for me in that I'm getting older and I need to, in a sense "grow up" a bit more than I am. I am getting my own apt. with no roommate and I am going to prove to myself, and many others of you who doubt that I can, that I can be on my own. I need to do it to make myself see that I can as well.
Hopefully with all of these things I will realise that I've made the right choices, and that I'm on my way to being happy, rather than just existing.
loves.
The first one being, I am not going back to school this semester, or any semester again. I have come to the decision that it's a waste of my time and money. Both which i could spend doing better things. I say this b/c I know I don't have what it takes to be a performer. Especially a classical performer. I dont think that I could do what i would need to to make it big in new york or where else I might decide to try. Nor could I teach in a school. This is not something that I would ever want to do. Really. Never. I used to think that i could and that i did want to, but I know that i couldn't ever teach in a school. What I DO want to do concerning music is teach private voice lessons. however, in order for me to do that, I need to be able to play piano. Not just the little plunking that i normally do, but play. At least enough to be able to get through a piece and show the student what it is. I don't want to be one of those teachers that uses a cd or tape and calls it good nor do I want to have to hire an accompianist. So, along the lines of not going to school. i will still be taking my voice lessons, and hopefully i will be taking piano lessons as well to help me on my way to the goal of teaching voice.
My next decision was that I want to be a nanny. Not just the normal nannying that I've been doing about 3 or 4 times a week. I want to work as a nanny 8am-6pm. Even if it's not strait through. I want to have something in the morning, and again in the afternoon. Hopefully this will be taken care of soon. I am hoping that I'll have the boys in the afternoons this year and then, I went and interviewed at another family's house today, for a job in the morning. Idealy this would be 8-12 and then 2;30-6p every day. I am hoping. This with my Old Navy job on the side would be plenty fine for me. I like Old Navy a lot. I very much enjoy the discount. And I love the people there. Even if, and i know there's a lot of people there that are a bit on the defensive side towards me, though I'm not really sure why...
I also need to be alone for a good while. A lot of people are wondering why i'm getting an apt that puts me so far away from portland and i'm getting it alone. Well, first off, it was the cheapest I could find. unfortunately it also the farthest away. I wish i could've found something in Freeport or Falmouth or someplace closer north but I couldn't. I have decided that this next year is going to be a rather difficult one for me in that I'm getting older and I need to, in a sense "grow up" a bit more than I am. I am getting my own apt. with no roommate and I am going to prove to myself, and many others of you who doubt that I can, that I can be on my own. I need to do it to make myself see that I can as well.
Hopefully with all of these things I will realise that I've made the right choices, and that I'm on my way to being happy, rather than just existing.
loves.