Brotherly Rivalry (Part B)
Part A
***next day***
Jaejoong was shocked when Changmin blocked his path the next day as he was going to his class. They’d walked together today too, but hadn’t really talked much. He was even more shocked when Changmin grabbed his hand without a word and dragged him down the hallway towards a deserted area.
“What is it Changmin?” He asked in a whisper, since the bell rang already and if they were caught they’d get detention. They would just have to skip their class and hope their parents weren’t contacted.
“I need us to speed things along Jae Hyung. I can’t wait for a whole week for us to become ‘official’. Junsu is, he’s…” Changmin trailed off as he huffed in exasperation, “he’s looking too interested in that Yoochun kid Hyung. If I don’t hurry I might lose him.” Changmin said a little hushed.
Jaejoong felt his heart throb at the way Changmin seemed almost desperate to get Junsu’s attention again, but assured himself that this was temporary. He’d somehow get Changmin to fall for him in this short amount of time… somehow.
Meanwhile, he took advantage of the fact that Changmin was still holding onto his hand and squeezed it.
“Don’t worry Minnie. Let’s speed this up then.” He smiled at the other warmly. Not noticing his slip up of only ever calling Changmin ‘Minnie’ in his mind and not aloud.
*
Changmin was shocked to hear Jaejoong Hyung refer to him as Minnie as well as to have felt that small comfort. He hadn’t been called that in so long and never had he been called that by him at all. In fact, before this whole thing they’d never really interacted at all. It had always been just Junsu who he’d talked to since Junsu’s older brother barely said two words to him let alone called him anything. He’d already been called Min-ah by the guy, but to hear Minnie seemed even more intimate and Changmin had to fight a blush from spreading at that thought. Junsu’s brother truly knew how to play the part even without having an audience it seemed.
“I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called you-”
“It’s okay. You can call me that. You’re now my boyfriend, right? You need to call me differently from others.” Changmin smiled and squeezed Jaejoong’s hand back and then realized that he’d actually never let go. He did so in that moment and fought another blush as he cleared his throat. “So you’re okay with skipping to the next stage?” Changmin asked uncertain. He couldn’t believe that the first experience he had with having a boyfriend would be with the brother of the person he truly liked. It definitely sounded disturbing from an outsider’s perspective. And to think that that was the way he proposed it was even more cringe worthy. He hoped he’d be more romantic when the time came to ask Junsu to be his boyfriend.
“Of course I’m okay with it. You’re the boss Minnie.” Jaejoong smiled shyly after that, laughing awkwardly once the words he’d spoken sunk in, and Changmin found himself smiling.
“Okay Hyung. Then from now on we’re boyfriends.” Changmin said cheerfully and attempted to hug Jaejoong. After all, he’d needed practice for when they did this in public. He knew it would be awkward; of course it’d be awkward since they’d never done something like this before, but the degree of awkwardness was really high. Jaejoong was stiff as a board, seemingly not even breathing, and he didn’t return the hug at all. Changmin frowned and backed away.
“Hyung, you can’t do it like that when we’re in public you know. You have to get use to hugging me and what better way than when we don’t have an audience?” He smiled and laughed lightly as Jaejoong blushed and nodded in response. “Come on then, hug me.” Changmin offered as he opened his arms awaiting his Hyung’s hug. He saw Jaejoong hesitate, but smile shyly as he came to hug him. For some reason Changmin found that gesture cute and smiled wider when Jaejoong actually hugged him around the waist. It was funny, they were about the same height even though Jaejoong was one year older and he seemed to be acting as if he were the younger one of the two. It made Changmin feel as if he needed to guide Jaejoong instead of being guided and it was a feeling he always associated with Junsu, so it was weird to also feel that for his older brother. The warmth of Jaejoong’s body felt pleasant against him and Changmin had never noticed how good Jaejoong smelled because he’d never had to be this close to him. Without thinking he looked for the area the smell came from strongest, which was behind Jaejoong’s ear, with his nose and inhaled deeply while closing his eyes. When he exhaled he heard Jaejoong gasp and felt him shiver. That action brought him back to the present and he abruptly backed up.
“S-sorry h-hyung. You smell really good and I couldn’t help inhaling your scent.” Changmin apologized and berated himself mentally for having behaved so creepily. “I-I mean, the smell you have on!” He hurried to explain and could feel his face heat up as he avoided meeting Jaejoong’s gaze because he was really embarrassed.
Hey, at least Jaejoong hadn’t been stiff in that hug.
*
“I-it’s okay. You smell good too.” Jaejoong whispered. He turned away as he tried to control his heart rate, breathing, and body’s reaction to having experienced that with Changmin. He hoped the other boy hadn’t noticed how his body reacted… he’d die of embarrassment. He could feel warmth spreading through him at Changmin’s last comment though and couldn’t help feeling elated at the fact that Changmin liked how he smelled. Once he got himself under control he took the initiative and grabbed Changmin’s hand, tugging him towards an area that they could talk without feeling like they’ll be found out.
“Should we talk now about our likes and dislikes or should we wait until this goes further?” He asked as he led Changmin away.
“Well, since we don’t have anything else to do right now, maybe we should start now?” Changmin said diplomatically and that made Jaejoong giggled, then clear his throat when Changmin looked at him confused. This really did feel like a dream to him and he couldn’t believe he was here right now with Changmin instead of his brother.
“Alright. Let’s go to the roof then.” Jaejoong said happily and began heading in that direction. Avoiding people and making sure that they weren’t seen. It’s a good thing that their school isn’t big enough to have the camera’s installed or else they wouldn’t have been able to this. With that they broke into the roof top and proceeded to get to know each other more.
***
Junsu was fuming by the time class ended. He couldn’t believe Changmin had ditched class to go with his brother who knows where. Oh, he’d noticed how Changmin had been going towards his Hyung’s class even if he’d not told him where he was going. And when the tardy bell rang and he hadn’t shown up Junsu hadn’t been able to concentrate. He hadn’t even paid attention to the notes Yoochun kept sliding to his desk, he was that mad. What could Changmin possibly be doing with his Hyung anyway? He’s not Hyung’s friend, he’s his friend, so why isn’t he right there behind him as he always is in this class?
He got up abruptly to head to their next class and couldn’t help his anger from reaching new levels when he saw that Changmin and Jaejoong were walking down the corridor to his Hyung’s next class. They were only a few steps away.
“WHAT THE HELL CHANGMIN?!!!” He screamed, not caring that he attracted all the attention of the passing students. Changmin and Jaejoong jumped and turned around quickly, the action making them let go of their hands. Junsu savored that small victory.
He marched over there, disregarding Yoochun’s voice in the background asking him what he was doing, and pulled Changmin away from his Hyung as if he wasn’t a living being.
“Why weren’t you in class?! Did you ditch to be with Hyung?!!!!” He screeched and Changmin shushed him, covering his mouth as he looked around. This only succeeded in making Junsu angrier. Who the hell did Changmin think he was to shut him up when he didn’t show up to class and was doing god knew what with his Hyung?!
“Not so loud Junsu. Do you want us to get a detention?” Changmin whispered worriedly and Junsu screamed indignantly. The nerve!
“I’ll tell you later, I can’t be late for my next class.” Changmin told him as he shook his arm off of Junsu’s grip and went over to give Jaejoong a kiss on the cheek before running down the hall. Junsu was so shocked that he couldn’t process what he had just seen. All he knew was that the behavior he’d just witness isn’t something he’s ever seen… in all the years Changmin has known them.
“Close your mouth Dongsaeng. And go to class or else you’re the one that will get detention.” Jaejoong said just before he hurried the few steps to his classroom.
Junsu couldn’t move for a second before shouting “Aish!” and marching to his own class. Changmin had a lot of explaining to do and he would make sure he didn’t escape it!
**
Jaejoong was on cloud 9 for the rest of the day. He couldn’t believe all that had happened on that day. He was still reeling from the peck on the cheek during their last class of the day and didn’t notice that Yunho was fuming beside him. Didn’t notice until the other finally broke the silence after class and let him know.
“What the hell is going on Jaejoong? You’ve been out of it all day and haven’t been paying attention in class. And why did Shim kiss your cheek?!” Yunho’s anger was loud and clear. Anyone would be able to tell, but to Jaejoong it came as a surprise. Yunho had seen the kiss? He blushed as he realized that Yunho might not have been the only person to see it. He’d never been one for that type of PDA’s before.
He cleared his throat before responding. “Ehm, you saw that?” He said weakly and at Yunho’s fuming gaze he continued. “Sorry Yunho. It’s just that I haven’t had a chance to tell you yet… but… well you see…” He didn’t know how to state that Changmin was now his boyfriend. How could he tell Yunho that when the other had known all along how much Changmin was in love with his brother? He hoped Changmin and he had been good actors to not appear fake. They kept walking towards the exit of the school. Today he wouldn’t be walking with Changmin since the other felt that he’d need to explain things to Junsu and it would be more believable if Jaejoong and Yunho weren’t present during his talk.
“Changmin asked me to be his boyfriend today and I accepted.” Jaejoong said embarrassedly while looking down. He couldn’t believe that he was now officially Changmin’s boyfriend in front of everyone else’s eyes even if it wasn’t really true.
He looked back up to see Yunho turn pale. He began feeling a little concerned. Didn’t Yunho tell him to talk to Changmin? He wasn’t serious when he told him that he loved him, was he? Yunho couldn’t really love him the way he loved Changmin… Yunho was like a brother to him. He could never see him as anything other than that.
“You… you can’t be serious… I could have sworn…” Yunho mumbled and Jaejoong frowned in confusion. What was Yunho talking about?
“You could have sworn what Yunho?” Jaejoong asked. He couldn’t possibly know that Changmin loved Su, could he?
“I-I’m happy for you Joongie…” Yunho said shakily and then started to walk off towards his house. Jaejoong frowned because Yunho always walked him to his door before heading home himself.
“Where are you going Yunnie?” He asked, the concern growing since he wasn’t behaving like himself.
“Home Joongie. Talk to you later…” Yunho said as he started to run. Jaejoong couldn’t even say anything. His friend’s behavior worried him. He hadn’t expected that reaction when he thought about telling Yunho eventually about his fake relationship with Changmin during the few time he’d allowed himself to image Yunho’s reaction.
“Ok.” He said weakly as he continued to walk home. He wondered how Changmin was breaking the news to his brother and how his brother was reacting and whether Changmin had been right.
**
“WHAT?!!! YOU’RE WHAT?!!! WITH HYUNG?!!!!” Junsu screamed as he slammed the door to his room and rounded on Changmin. Changmin was momentarily speechless when he faced Junsu. It was moments like this that he was well aware that Junsu wasn’t all cherry pops and fluffy bunnies. He truly could be scary.
“I-I said that I asked your Hyung to be my boyfriend Su…” He whispered. He thought Junsu might get jealous, but never this angry.
“AND YOU SAY IT LIKE IT’S NOT BIG DEAL?!! SINCE WHEN DID YOU LIKE HYUNG?!! IS THAT WHY YOU BEFRIENDED ME? TO BE WITH HYUNG?!!” Junsu’s face looked as red as a tomato and he was shaking from anger. Changmin was shocked that Junsu even thought he liked Jaejoong that far back when it was always Junsu who had attracted Changmin’s attention… at least as far as he remembers.
“Of course not Junsu. I befriended you because you’re kind and warm and friendly!” He shouted back, but then turned red. He was supposed to be praising Jaejoong, not shouting the things that had attracted him to Junsu. He had to make this believable to make it work. “Ehm. And it’s only been a year since I’ve noticed your Hyung in that way. And I finally got brave enough to ask him. I thought you’d support our decision…” He trailed off. He didn’t know how to handle this. He’d thought he knew, that he could control the situation, but it was getting out of control. He didn’t want to lose Junsu because of this. He’d thought he’d just get jealous, maybe ask why he’d not asked him to be his boyfriend, and then he’d work on making Junsu see him as boyfriend material by the way he treated Jaejoong. That’s what he’d thought, but now… he was kind of regretting asking Jaejoong to do this. In that moment his mind flashed to how happy Jaejoong had looked in his presence earlier. He had felt happy to be the one to put him in that mood, since he’d only seen Yunho accomplish that feat before. He shook his head. What the hell was he thinking? He needed to find a way to calm Junsu.
He saw his friend pacing back and forth and decided that groveling was the best method.
“Su-ah. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I promise this won’t get in the way of our friendship. And who knows if it’ll work out with Jaejoong Hyung, neh? So please don’t be angry and support us?” He kneeled in front of Junsu with pleading hands. He couldn’t think beyond looking as remorseful as possible.
“And you really like Hyung Min-ah? You’re not going to hurt him are you? Because I swear if this is a game…” Junsu said, trailing off as he shook his finger in Changmin’s face, still angry but softening. Changmin thought that that right there was the moment he should have confessed to this being a joke. That he shouldn’t risk Junsu’s friendship for the possibility of more. That he was just being selfish in wanting to get more with Junsu when his friend clearly didn’t see him in that light. But then he remembered how that Yoochun was looking at Junsu and how Junsu reacted to Yoochun and he unconsciously clenched his teeth. No, he was doing the right thing. Besides, Jaejoong wouldn’t get hurt, so there was nothing to worry about when Junsu found out the truth. Jaejoong didn’t like him like that, so there was nothing to worry about.
“It’s not a game Junsu. Really. Jaejoong Hyung won’t get hurt, I promise. And I really like him Su-ah.” He smiled, hoping it looked like someone who liked someone else and not like he was creepy. Junsu’s expression soften and he sighed. He knelt down and hugged Changmin, causing Changmin’s heart to speed up its beat. He let go after a few minutes.
“Okay Min. If you really like Hyung, I’m happy for you both. Wow, I can’t believe you’re Hyung’s first boyfriend.” Junsu said shocked.
Changmin almost choked on his own saliva. That couldn’t be right.
“But he’s had girlfriends before, right Su?” He tried, hoping that Junsu would say yes. It couldn’t be that they were both unexperienced with how relationships worked. He’d never been in a relationship because he liked Junsu too much to get with anyone else, but surely Jaejoong has had relationship experience from somewhere.
“Nope. Hyung has never had a relationship. Always said he wasn’t interested in the people at our school, so he never accepted the requests he’s received. After a while people got the hint and stopped asking him. You know, I kinda thought that maybe Yunho Hyung and him might, you know, like each other or something and that maybe that’s why Hyung never got with anyone…” Junsu trailed off, seemingly thinking really hard on the subject while Changmin squirmed. He didn’t like that possibility, but he wasn’t sure why exactly. He tried to dispel the weird feeling and focus back to what Junsu was saying.
“Omo, what if Hyung has always liked you Min? And that’s why he’s never gotten with anyone in school until you asked?” Junsu said shocked. “That’s a long time to like someone.”
Changmin blushed a deep red. He knew that couldn’t be a possibility but it still caused something to flutter in his stomach at the mere thought of someone liking him for that long… well, not just someone but Jaejoong. And then there was the other fact that he had indeed like Junsu for that long and the way Junsu was reacting made him feel as if he needed to be embarrassed for the amount of time he’s liked him.
“N-no. I don’t think that’s it Su. I’m sure your Hyung just wants the experience before leaving high school. Plus, I’ve gotten better looking recently, so he’s just seeing a new side of me and thinks he could give me a chance.” Changmin said jokingly, hoping to get a compliment from Junsu. Junsu looked at him and he blushed under the scrutiny.
“You look the same to me Min, so he must see something else I don’t see?” Junsu shrugged and Changmin felt his hope drop down to the pit of his stomach again. He knew it was too soon for Junsu to see him, but he’d hoped that maybe he didn’t need to keep this farce going for too long. His hope was dash just as quickly. Junsu was definitely not reacting as he’d thought he would.
“Well, we better start our homework Su. I want to get home as soon as possible today.” He needed to regroup after all the shocks today had brought him.
“Okay Min.”
*
It had been an hour since they’d started their homework and Changmin felt the need for a bathroom break. He was just stepping out of the bathroom when he noticed Jaejoong walking downstairs and decided to get something straight now that he had the chance. He followed the other until they ended up in the kitchen, making sure nobody saw them and grabbed his hand so that they could go to the pantry to talk. Jaejoong had squeaked in surprise, but followed none the less until they were enclosed in the small room that stored all kinds of things the Kims thought went into a pantry (including a mop and broom).
“Changmin, you scared me.” Jaejoong whispered. Changmin supposed he figured they should keep it down since Changmin felt the need to enclose them in this room.
“Sorry Hyung.” Changmin whispered back, embarrassed of his actions since they looked so sketchy, but he needed to clarify this as soon as possible. “But I needed to ask you something. Is it true that I’d be technically your first boyfriend or relationship ever?” He asked, still shocked at the fact. He didn’t think Jaejoong lacked any admirers, since it seemed the Kim family was blessed with good looking members. For some reason he couldn’t get over the fact that he hadn’t been with anyone else.
He saw the shade of red that spread all over Jaejoong’s face and didn’t need the confirmation that was soon given in a small “Yes.”
He relied on the wall, shocked. He’d thought… “But how can that be? You’re far from ugly and everyone likes you once they get to know you… how could you not have been in a relationship before?” He asked puzzled. Jaejoong just turned redder.
“W-well, I just… it never… I mean… what does it matter?” He squeaked out and Changmin finally looked up into the red face and smiled. Jaejoong looked adorable with that shade of red, small frown, and pouting lips. He’d never noticed that Jaejoong also liked to pout his lips so often when he felt confused.
“I just thought… you’re right. It doesn’t matter. But all this time I thought you knew how to be in a relationship and that you’d tell me if something I said or did was inappropriate to our... arrangement. Hahaha, guess we’ll learn together then Hyung.” Changmin smiled and couldn’t help feeling the light feeling settling in his chest. For some reason, learning things with Jaejoong didn’t sound so bad to him at the moment and at least he’d find out whether he was good at relationships or not based off of their experience.
“Hahahaha, yeah….” Jaejoong trailed off while looking down. Changmin stayed staring for a moment, unable to help himself from studying someone he’d never thought twice to look at, until said person cleared their throat loudly and fidgeted. “Well, I better get back to my homework. Yunnie will be here in a little while and I was trying to finish up in order to help him with something he’s struggling with. See you Min-ah.” And with that Jaejoong quickly pecked Changmin’s cheek and left the storage room.
Changmin couldn’t figure out why his chest felt tight when hearing Jaejoong’s nickname to Yunho or why his cheeks felt as if flames were licking at them or why he could still feel the pouty lips on his skin after Jaejoong had left. Something was definitely going on with him, but he refused to acknowledge it.
*
Jaejoong nervously paced his room and tried not to panic at his actions and lie. Of course Yunho wasn’t going to come today. He seemed sad the last time he left him, but he couldn’t come up with a better lie to get out of that storage room and left the presence of Changmin. He had surprised him with his question and he couldn’t exactly tell him why he hadn’t been in a relationship with anyone. He just hoped that Changmin was too busy with Junsu to notice his lie.
Jaejoong touched his lips and smiled goofily as he remembered how warm Changmin’s cheek had been. He couldn’t believe he’d done that. And he couldn’t believe that Changmin had let him. For some reason, he felt something had shifted in their relationship lately, even if he couldn’t pin point what that shift had been. He was just happy that everything was coming out so well. Even though Changmin still talked a lot about his brother, he had noticed he would look at him more often than before. He couldn’t help the hope blossom further at the fact that Changmin didn’t think he was ugly. He hadn’t felt this much hope since… he didn’t know since when.
But he hadn’t lied completely. He really did need to finish homework. Now if he could only concentrate and stop thinking about Changmin, he’d be good to go. With that thought Jaejoong went back to his homework, trying not to wonder how their fake relationship could become real.
*****
Changmin waited nervously by the door to Jaejoong’s classroom. It seemed Jaejoong had been detained by his teacher and they seemed to be conversing about something. The wait was making Changmin more nervous.
It had been a week since their fake relationship was revealed to everyone and so far it seemed that Junsu had reverted back to his cheerful go lucky self and didn’t even bat an eye anymore when Changmin and Jaejoong linked their hands together or when they stared at each other across a room. In fact, it seemed Junsu got closer to that Yoochun guy the more the days passed and that was driving Changmin crazy. It was time to start enacting the next step to their plan, and that’s what had him nervous. He didn’t know how to ask Jaejoong that they needed to start being more physical in their pretend relationship. So far Jaejoong had been a good sport and allowed Changmin to do as he pleased. Hug him whenever he wanted or link their hands. Pick him up from places. But boyfriends normally kissed in public from time to time right? So it was time for them to start kissing to cement the relationship. That would be as far as they would go in their pretend relationship. If in two more weeks Changmin didn’t succeed in making Junsu notice him, no matter how it broke his heart, he’d have to admit defeat. He couldn’t be using Jaejoong this way for much longer, he didn’t feel right.
He’d thought he’d made progress when he’d revealed his relationship with Jaejoong, but now it’s as if that was just a minor bump and that the only reason why Junsu reacted at all was to protect his brother’s feelings and his friendship with Changmin. If seeing Jaejoong and him kiss didn’t spark anything in Junsu, then Changmin would just have to admit that Junsu just couldn’t see him that way and that even though he could make Junsu the happiest guy on earth that if that guy didn’t want to give him a chance it wasn’t meant to be. He’d have to move on.
This thought depressed him so much that he relaxed a little. Surely Jaejoong wouldn’t object to kissing, would he? It’d just be peck, nothing more. He’d make sure to tell that to Jaejoong Hyung. He was just glad that Junsu was in a hurry to get to his house and that he wouldn’t be waiting to walk with them. It’d give Changmin a chance to talk to Jaejoong about this next step. Sure they had discussed it before, but they hadn’t agreed on when they’d finally be broaching this step.
Jaejoong exited the classroom with a smile and Changmin swallowed hard. His nervousness hitting him once again as if the short reprieve was all in his head. He looked away from Jaejoong when he noticed he was staring a little too intently at his lips. He shook his head and finally found his voice to great his Hyung.
“Hi Jae Hyung. Junsu left to your house already, said he had a test he needed to study for stat and that he couldn’t wait for you to go out. Is that alright?” Changmin asked as he began walking with Jaejoong down the hall.
“Sure Min. Why wouldn’t it be?” Jaejoong questioned, looking confused. Changmin cleared his throat awkwardly. Seriously, why would it be out of the ordinary? He didn’t know why he’d said that.
“N-no reason. Um, Jae Hyung… I-I needed to discuss something with you…” Changmin trailed off as he felt his voice leave him. He couldn’t believe that he was so nervous about this. Surely Jaejoong wouldn’t end their agreement just because they were going to kiss? Surely a kiss wasn’t that big of a deal?
“What is it Changmin-ah?” Jaejoong stopped walking abruptly and Changmin finally noticed that they were closer to their houses than he’d first thought. Wow, did time fly by without him noticing.
“Well, you know how we had discussed what this fake relationship would entail? Um, you see, I’ve given myself a time limit of two more weeks. I can’t keep waiting for Junsu to see me as someone he wants to be with forever and I can’t force this relationship on you forever either…” Changmin trailed off as he chuckled awkwardly and scratched his neck. “So, the final step left in our relationship is a-a kiss.” Changmin looked everywhere but at Jaejoong. Nervousness eating at him. He didn’t understand why he felt so nervous. “A-and in order to make the kiss seem natural we have to-to p-practice. But don’t feel you have to do it Hyung! J-just let me know if you decide not to and we’ll end things right here right-”
“NO! I-I mean there’s no need to end things ahead of time Hahahahaha.” Jaejoong chuckled awkwardly before clearing his throat. Changmin stared at him in shock of his outburst. “I-I mean, we had talked about it before and I had agreed to this, so it doesn’t come to a shock to me that it was the next step. It is sooner than I’d first thought, b-but I know that things aren’t progressing as you’d hoped and I understand that you want to speed things along. So, okay Min. W-when do we…” Jaejoong gestured with his hands in a ‘proceed’ gesture while blushing furiously.
Changmin cleared his throat nervously, feeling butterflies in his stomach due to the unexpected willingness of the elder. He hadn’t thought it’d be this easy to get Jaejoong to agree to the practices. He thought he’d say that maybe they didn’t need to practice and that kissing once in front of Junsu would be enough to cement their relationship in his brother’s eyes.
“I-uh-we could-um- now?” He asked while looking around. They were in a deserted street it seemed. Nobody was out and about and they had as much privacy as they would probably have. At least, that’s what Changmin thought.
“OK!”
One minute Changmin was standing in the street, the next he was getting dragged by Jaejoong to his house. Changmin was so shocked that he didn’t protest and just followed his Hyung into the house and past Junsu’s room to Jaejoong’s.
Once the door closed, Jaejoong made sure to lock it. They both stared at each other with wide eyes while they breathed heavily due to their speed walking routing. Changmin didn’t know what to do with himself and decided to just sit down on Jaejoong’s bed. He noticed how Jaejoong was also nervous and hesitantly sat down next to Changmin. For some reason, Changmin felt electricity in the air and tension among themselves. He didn’t know what to do to dispel it, so just cleared his throat and said, “O-okay Hyung, let’s start.”
He leaned in towards Jaejoong, but at the very last minute swerved to his cheek and pecked him there. “Ah, s-sorry Hyung.” He nervously leaned back again, breathing heavily. Okay, so maybe he couldn’t do it. How could he? His first kiss was supposed to be with the person he loved and even though he knew this was necessary he wasn’t sure he could go through with it. Jaejoong was a nice person, was handsome, was kind… but he loved Kim Junsu.
*
Jaejoong felt his heart break when Changmin swerved at the last minute. He suspected the younger guy was finally realizing it wasn’t as easy as he’d thought it’d be. Especially when he didn’t have the adrenaline jealousy provided to help ease the way to the kiss. Jaejoong also realized that he might be the one to take charge here. If he could only show Min that they had something… that he was just as good as his brother if not better for him… maybe this was where Jaejoong could open his eyes and show him he was right there before him and that he would do anything to keep him by his side.
He grabbed the younger man’s hand to comfort him. “It’s okay Minnie. I know this might be hard for you, hence why we need practice neh? Hahaha.” Clearing his throat, he said, “We’ll go slow, okay?”
Jaejoong hadn’t exactly kissed anyone either, so he had no skills to boast about, but he was older and had seen others kissing more than maybe Changmin had.
“Eh, I think we should face each other to start with…” Jaejoong said nervously and stood up to grab a chair, placing it in front of Changmin. He sat down on it.
“Okay, now we’ll start slow. Look at me Min…” Jaejoong whispered as he picked up his hands to hold onto Changmin’s face. He cleared his throat as his whole body drummed with excitement, dread, and anticipation. His palms felt sweaty on Changmin’s face and he hoped the younger one didn’t notice it too much. He prompted Changmin to come closer by pulling his face forward. Changmin was like a puppet and just followed his hands, all the while still gazing into Jaejoong’s eyes without saying anything. Taking a deep calming breath, Jaejoong leaned forward and kissed Changmin’s forehead slowly. When he pulled back Changmin’s breathing had calmed down and he was closing his eyes. Jaejoong smiled as he noticed the other calming down and just letting him take charge for once. Jaejoong then leaned in again and placed another gentle kiss to Changmin’s left eye. Followed by his right eye. Then his right cheek, his left… all the pecks were lingering and gentle, trying to sooth the nerves he had and the nerves Changmin had. He kissed Changmin’s nose next, then his chin, and he paused a breath’s away from Changmin’s lips. He stared at the plump wide lips he’d dreamed about so many times, unable to believe that he’d finally feel them against his. Before his eyes Changmin’s lips parted slightly and before he could lean forward he felt Changmin’s lips against his, causing him to gasp softly. The contact was brief, but he could feel the warmth from the kiss to his toes.
“S-sorry H-hyung. You were taking so long and I thought-”
“Shh.” Jaejoong whispered before he leaned in again, letting his lips rest against Changmin’s a little longer, extending his lips to allow contact as long as possible when leaning back and feeling his body tremble at how much a kiss felt good. “It’s okay. We’re practicing remember. We should be able to do this without feeling awkward with each other.” He whispered before kissing Changmin softly again, tilting his head slightly to change the angle and allow more comfort in the kiss. He leaned back again when he felt that he couldn’t take the contact anymore, when it felt too much. He could feel his breathing increase as his body temperature started to rise.
“Y-yes. You’re right.” Changmin said as he leaned forward, taking a hold of Jaejoong’s nape and guiding him to his lips again. This time the kiss felt different since it was Changmin the one initiating it for a second time. Jaejoong gasp when he first felt Changmin’s lips move against his. In the previous kisses they’d just kept their lips straight, not moving and just enjoying the soft contact of their lips against each other… of the textures that they felt.
But now… there was a pressure against his lips and when they moved, they caused a tingling sensation to originate from his mouth to the rest of his body, especially when he felt the soft interior of Changmin’s lips. During one of the continuous kisses, Changmin actually sucked Jaejoong’s bottom lip and Jaejoong couldn’t prevent a sound he’d never heard before from escaping the back of his throat. He separated from Changmin abruptly, staring wide eyed. He was embarrassed that he’d made that sound and felt his cheeks heat up accordingly. And he became shocked once more when he noticed that Changmin’s eyes were dilated and he was panting lightly, as if…
“I-I-I think we n-need to stop for t-today Min.” Jaejoong said shakily while getting up and turning away. He barely realized that his pants felt a little tight and that he too was panting lightly. Were his eyes also… he ran a hand through his hair.
“Y-you’re right Hyung. I-I’ll be leaving then.” Jaejoong didn’t turn around to see Changmin leave for fear of him seeing his state more closely. He let out a loud breath when he heard Junsu yell “YAH, MIN!! DON’T IGNORE MY QUESTION!!!”
It seemed that he wasn’t the only one shaken up by that kiss and Jaejoong didn’t know whether to feel elation or worry.
***
It had been three days since the incident, as he liked to call it, and he still couldn’t get his mind to move on from that one moment in which he’d forgotten everything about Junsu and could only think about the soft lips he had been in possession of. He wasn’t sure that he’d have gone through with the whole situation if he’d known that was the effect the kiss would have on him.
Gone were the days where he was the confident, strong dongsaeng who knew what he was doing. He hadn’t been able to face Junsu properly since the event and had avoided Jaejoong altogether. He couldn’t even continue with their pretend relationship and hid from Jaejoong as much as possible, unable to face him after what had happened.
He’d never expected a kiss to change his world so much.
He hadn’t had a chance to notice whether Junsu looked at him or paid attention to him since he spent every waking moment trying to decipher what exactly had happened. Every time he’d caught a glimpse of Jaejoong he’d turn red as he remembered the taste and touch of those rosy plump lips against his own. And he’d feel a heat start in his lower abdomen when he remembered the sound the other had made. He’d run in the opposite direction and poor soul that got in his way because he’d trample them over in his haste to not be seen by the older guy. He didn’t understand his behavior and couldn’t change the fact that he couldn’t face him at the moment. He needed to figure out what was wrong with him before he faced Jaejoong Hyung again.
*
Jaejoong didn’t know what he’d done wrong. Changmin was avoiding him and he didn’t know if maybe he’d gone too far with the kiss. But, he’d kept it light and innocent. It was Changmin who had made it more than they could both handle. Jaejoong shook his head. It was no use to get angry at the events when it was the most awesome thing that had ever happened to him. He finally had his chance to make Changmin notice him and he just hoped that Changmin’s reluctance to see him just meant that maybe his goal had been achieved. Just thinking of that made him incredibly happy, but he knew his life wasn’t that easy so he kept a tight lid on that hope.
If Changmin didn’t approach him by the end of this week, he’d approach him.
He’d finally decided, regardless of what happened, he’d confess to Changmin this Friday. Changmin would finally know the truth and Jaejoong hoped it’d be enough to give each other a chance.
**
On the fourth day, Changmin finally realized what was wrong with him and it happened in a way he didn’t expect.
He was looking outside the window distractedly again, like he always did, when he noticed two guys walking slowly until they stopped underneath a tree. He stopped breathing when he noticed that it was Yunho and Jaejoong, seemingly in a deep conversation. He was lost for a moment looking at the Hyung he’d run way from practically the whole week when he saw Yunho suddenly grasped Jaejoong and pulled him in for a forceful kiss. Something in Changmin snapped and he jumped out of his seat and stormed out of the class ignoring the teacher’s shouts at him to stop.
He didn’t know what came over him, only that he had an uncontrollable fury within him. Who the hell did Yunho think he was?! Taking what wasn’t his. He ran until he was directly in front of the pair and pulled Yunho off a distressed looking Jaejoong. He made sure to get in between them both.
“What the hell are you doing?!! Jaejoong is MY boyfriend! How DARE you kiss him?!” Changmin yelled as he tried to control his fury. He couldn’t even speak correctly.
Yunho looked dumbfounded and then furious. “What kind of boyfriend are you Changmin?!” The contempt could be heard in that single word. “You leave Joongie to stress out because of your disappearance and now you storm here saying he’s your boyfriend when you haven’t behaved that way in almost a week already? Ha, don’t make me laugh.”
“Yunho! What’s gotten into you?!” Jaejoong yelled, shocked at Yunho’s words.
“You belong with me Joongie! Not with this, this indecisive child for god’s sake!” Yunho screamed furiously.
Changmin made to punch Yunho but Jaejoong stopped him, getting in front of him.
“I don’t know what’s gotten into you Yunho, but Changmin’s MY boyfriend and you had no right to kiss me like that. Leave now before this gets ugly, and talk to me when you’re feeling like yourself again.” With that Jaejoong turned around, grabbed Changmin’s reluctant form and dragged him away from the tree and any living soul in sight. They had begun to attract a crowd and he didn’t want Changmin to get in trouble.
They stopped in an isolated area not far from the school exit and for a moment it seemed that it was only them two. Once they realized this they stayed quiet feeling awkward and then both burst into explanation at the same time.
“I’m sor-”
“Jae-”
They stopped at the same time, embarrassed and then cleared their throats.
“I’m sorry Changmin. I didn’t want that kiss, I’d never cheat on my boyfriend, even if what we have isn’t real.” Jaejoong said with conviction, trying to show Changmin the truth of his words.
“I’m sorry too Jae Hyung. I didn’t mean to go psychotic there, hehehe. Ehm, I don’t-” he stopped then, because it was then that he realized what his problem had been all along. He’d felt jealousy before when he’d seen Junsu with others and when he’d thought Junsu liked someone else, but he’d never acted on that jealousy before. Not in the way he’d reacted with Jaejoong. It was as if he couldn’t stand someone else touching what was his and his brain couldn’t distinguish what was real and what was fake.
He realized that he had feelings for Jaejoong and that they had awakened within him slowly the more he interacted with him. His eyes widened and he looked at Jaejoong, with seemingly new eyes. He saw the worry the other displayed, the way he nervously chewed on his bottom lip waiting to hear what else he had to say. And then he noticed something else too. Something that he hadn’t realized before but now could see.
“Jae Hyung… can I, can I kiss you?” He asked because he wanted to see something he hadn’t noticed before.
“W-what?” Jaejoong said in shock.
“Can I kiss you?” Changmin asked with more confidence. He knew what he was after now and he wasn’t about to be deterred by his nerves.
“I-uh-yes.” Jaejoong said nervously, his heart beating a thousand miles a minute.
Changmin leaned in slowly, just as they had practice and united their lips in a gently kiss. As he deepened the kiss, he felt the other’s body surrender to his and slowly incline against him as he maneuvered their bodies against the wall. In that kiss he could feel all the feelings he newly discovered within himself and the feelings he now knew the other had for him.
As their mouths parted, he remembered everything in his life that included Jaejoong. Their first meeting, the way that the other seemed so cold and reserved in front of him, the odd looks he’d see sometimes when he’d surprised the oldest staring at his brother and him from across the room. It all made sense to Changmin now and he realized that he felt a pressure release from within his chest and that he could breathe once more. Something he hadn’t realized he had until the moment it had stop constricting him.
Jaejoong loved him, just as he loves Junsu, but not the same. The kiss was separated just as gently as it had started and Changmin stared into the deep dark eyes that captivated him against his will.
“Jae Hyung…” he whispered, “since when have you been in love with me?”
It seemed that that question shocked Jaejoong because his mouth gaped, opening and closing as if he was a fish out of water. Changmin smiled at the adorable expression, unable to hide his amusement and kissed his cheek before letting him go so that they could talk.
“I-I-I… how did you-” Jaejoong couldn’t seem to stream sentences together and Changmin smiled once more. He couldn’t believe he’d never realized the depth of Jaejoong’s feelings until now. It was clear in the way the other guy saw him, and in the way he’d reacted to his hug, in the way he’d kissed him that first time, to the way he talked to him. He now remembered how pale he’d become when Changmin had first approached him with the proposal of a fake relationship and how he’d looked sad but had still agreed.
How had Changmin not noticed before?
“Once you take the time to see, it’s obvious Hyung. So are you going to tell me? You know, once Junsu said that you might have not been in a relationship because you were in love with me. Is that true?” For some reason, he actually felt satisfied if that was true. He’d like to think that he could inspire that type of love in someone.
“I-I… yes Min-ah. I’ve loved you since I laid eyes on you… only I didn’t know it then.” Jaejoong said quietly and looked down, seeming ashamed to reveal that much.
Changmin felt his chest warm up and his stomach flutter at the words. All that time… Jaejoong Hyung loved him? He didn’t think he was worth of such devotion. Jaejoong was… he was an exceptional human being. At least he’d discovered that in the short time they’d spent together and in the years of observing him taking care of Junsu.
Junsu.
Changmin didn’t know what to think anymore. On one hand, discovering that Jaejoong loved him and that he wasn’t indifferent to Jaejoong was surreal. On the other, he’d loved Junsu all his life, yet he didn’t think it was similar to the feelings he was developing for Jaejoong. Somehow, with Jaejoong, everything seemed… more. It was too early in this discovery to unveil all that he felt, but one thing was for sure, he didn’t want to lose this opportunity to discover what could be with Jaejoong. He wasn’t willing to let him go.
“Jae… I-I’ve loved Junsu all my life-” Changmin stopped when he noticed the hurt on Jaejoong’s face and immediately corrected himself, “I mean, I think I’ve loved Junsu all my life. I don’t know any more what the feelings I have for him and the feelings I’ve developed for you mean, but I’m willing to find out Jae Hyung.” He smiled while rubbing Jaejoong’s cheek with his palm. He didn’t care how corny that looked. “What I’m trying to say is… would you accept to being my boyfriend for real? I want us to try to discover if we’re compatible if we try this relationship for real. Even if it doesn’t work out, I’m willing to try if you are.”
Changmin felt as if he was in a dream, but at the same time couldn’t let this… whatever it was… escape. He didn’t care how fast this seemed.
When Jaejoong smiled brightly, with so much hope, he couldn’t regret his decision.
“I-yes Changmin!” Jaejoong said excitedly and then laughed happily while hugging Changmin tightly. Changmin felt that flutter in his stomach, that warmth in his chest, and couldn’t help the happiness that he felt at the decision he’d made.
Even if his feelings were jumbled at the moment, he felt as if he was taking the right decision. He’d started this whole charade with the hopes of capturing Kim Junsu’s heart, when Kim Jaejoong’s had been his all along.
And he couldn’t help the feeling that that’s exactly what he’d been after all along.
-Fin-
A/N: As you can see, I’ve linked this oneshot to a verse format, meaning that whenever I want I can add another section to their stories. ^_^ But I hope that this oneshot has the power to stop your dwelling so that you don’t have to wait to see what happens next if you don’t want to. Kk, see ya guys later!
***next day***
Jaejoong was shocked when Changmin blocked his path the next day as he was going to his class. They’d walked together today too, but hadn’t really talked much. He was even more shocked when Changmin grabbed his hand without a word and dragged him down the hallway towards a deserted area.
“What is it Changmin?” He asked in a whisper, since the bell rang already and if they were caught they’d get detention. They would just have to skip their class and hope their parents weren’t contacted.
“I need us to speed things along Jae Hyung. I can’t wait for a whole week for us to become ‘official’. Junsu is, he’s…” Changmin trailed off as he huffed in exasperation, “he’s looking too interested in that Yoochun kid Hyung. If I don’t hurry I might lose him.” Changmin said a little hushed.
Jaejoong felt his heart throb at the way Changmin seemed almost desperate to get Junsu’s attention again, but assured himself that this was temporary. He’d somehow get Changmin to fall for him in this short amount of time… somehow.
Meanwhile, he took advantage of the fact that Changmin was still holding onto his hand and squeezed it.
“Don’t worry Minnie. Let’s speed this up then.” He smiled at the other warmly. Not noticing his slip up of only ever calling Changmin ‘Minnie’ in his mind and not aloud.
*
Changmin was shocked to hear Jaejoong Hyung refer to him as Minnie as well as to have felt that small comfort. He hadn’t been called that in so long and never had he been called that by him at all. In fact, before this whole thing they’d never really interacted at all. It had always been just Junsu who he’d talked to since Junsu’s older brother barely said two words to him let alone called him anything. He’d already been called Min-ah by the guy, but to hear Minnie seemed even more intimate and Changmin had to fight a blush from spreading at that thought. Junsu’s brother truly knew how to play the part even without having an audience it seemed.
“I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called you-”
“It’s okay. You can call me that. You’re now my boyfriend, right? You need to call me differently from others.” Changmin smiled and squeezed Jaejoong’s hand back and then realized that he’d actually never let go. He did so in that moment and fought another blush as he cleared his throat. “So you’re okay with skipping to the next stage?” Changmin asked uncertain. He couldn’t believe that the first experience he had with having a boyfriend would be with the brother of the person he truly liked. It definitely sounded disturbing from an outsider’s perspective. And to think that that was the way he proposed it was even more cringe worthy. He hoped he’d be more romantic when the time came to ask Junsu to be his boyfriend.
“Of course I’m okay with it. You’re the boss Minnie.” Jaejoong smiled shyly after that, laughing awkwardly once the words he’d spoken sunk in, and Changmin found himself smiling.
“Okay Hyung. Then from now on we’re boyfriends.” Changmin said cheerfully and attempted to hug Jaejoong. After all, he’d needed practice for when they did this in public. He knew it would be awkward; of course it’d be awkward since they’d never done something like this before, but the degree of awkwardness was really high. Jaejoong was stiff as a board, seemingly not even breathing, and he didn’t return the hug at all. Changmin frowned and backed away.
“Hyung, you can’t do it like that when we’re in public you know. You have to get use to hugging me and what better way than when we don’t have an audience?” He smiled and laughed lightly as Jaejoong blushed and nodded in response. “Come on then, hug me.” Changmin offered as he opened his arms awaiting his Hyung’s hug. He saw Jaejoong hesitate, but smile shyly as he came to hug him. For some reason Changmin found that gesture cute and smiled wider when Jaejoong actually hugged him around the waist. It was funny, they were about the same height even though Jaejoong was one year older and he seemed to be acting as if he were the younger one of the two. It made Changmin feel as if he needed to guide Jaejoong instead of being guided and it was a feeling he always associated with Junsu, so it was weird to also feel that for his older brother. The warmth of Jaejoong’s body felt pleasant against him and Changmin had never noticed how good Jaejoong smelled because he’d never had to be this close to him. Without thinking he looked for the area the smell came from strongest, which was behind Jaejoong’s ear, with his nose and inhaled deeply while closing his eyes. When he exhaled he heard Jaejoong gasp and felt him shiver. That action brought him back to the present and he abruptly backed up.
“S-sorry h-hyung. You smell really good and I couldn’t help inhaling your scent.” Changmin apologized and berated himself mentally for having behaved so creepily. “I-I mean, the smell you have on!” He hurried to explain and could feel his face heat up as he avoided meeting Jaejoong’s gaze because he was really embarrassed.
Hey, at least Jaejoong hadn’t been stiff in that hug.
*
“I-it’s okay. You smell good too.” Jaejoong whispered. He turned away as he tried to control his heart rate, breathing, and body’s reaction to having experienced that with Changmin. He hoped the other boy hadn’t noticed how his body reacted… he’d die of embarrassment. He could feel warmth spreading through him at Changmin’s last comment though and couldn’t help feeling elated at the fact that Changmin liked how he smelled. Once he got himself under control he took the initiative and grabbed Changmin’s hand, tugging him towards an area that they could talk without feeling like they’ll be found out.
“Should we talk now about our likes and dislikes or should we wait until this goes further?” He asked as he led Changmin away.
“Well, since we don’t have anything else to do right now, maybe we should start now?” Changmin said diplomatically and that made Jaejoong giggled, then clear his throat when Changmin looked at him confused. This really did feel like a dream to him and he couldn’t believe he was here right now with Changmin instead of his brother.
“Alright. Let’s go to the roof then.” Jaejoong said happily and began heading in that direction. Avoiding people and making sure that they weren’t seen. It’s a good thing that their school isn’t big enough to have the camera’s installed or else they wouldn’t have been able to this. With that they broke into the roof top and proceeded to get to know each other more.
***
Junsu was fuming by the time class ended. He couldn’t believe Changmin had ditched class to go with his brother who knows where. Oh, he’d noticed how Changmin had been going towards his Hyung’s class even if he’d not told him where he was going. And when the tardy bell rang and he hadn’t shown up Junsu hadn’t been able to concentrate. He hadn’t even paid attention to the notes Yoochun kept sliding to his desk, he was that mad. What could Changmin possibly be doing with his Hyung anyway? He’s not Hyung’s friend, he’s his friend, so why isn’t he right there behind him as he always is in this class?
He got up abruptly to head to their next class and couldn’t help his anger from reaching new levels when he saw that Changmin and Jaejoong were walking down the corridor to his Hyung’s next class. They were only a few steps away.
“WHAT THE HELL CHANGMIN?!!!” He screamed, not caring that he attracted all the attention of the passing students. Changmin and Jaejoong jumped and turned around quickly, the action making them let go of their hands. Junsu savored that small victory.
He marched over there, disregarding Yoochun’s voice in the background asking him what he was doing, and pulled Changmin away from his Hyung as if he wasn’t a living being.
“Why weren’t you in class?! Did you ditch to be with Hyung?!!!!” He screeched and Changmin shushed him, covering his mouth as he looked around. This only succeeded in making Junsu angrier. Who the hell did Changmin think he was to shut him up when he didn’t show up to class and was doing god knew what with his Hyung?!
“Not so loud Junsu. Do you want us to get a detention?” Changmin whispered worriedly and Junsu screamed indignantly. The nerve!
“I’ll tell you later, I can’t be late for my next class.” Changmin told him as he shook his arm off of Junsu’s grip and went over to give Jaejoong a kiss on the cheek before running down the hall. Junsu was so shocked that he couldn’t process what he had just seen. All he knew was that the behavior he’d just witness isn’t something he’s ever seen… in all the years Changmin has known them.
“Close your mouth Dongsaeng. And go to class or else you’re the one that will get detention.” Jaejoong said just before he hurried the few steps to his classroom.
Junsu couldn’t move for a second before shouting “Aish!” and marching to his own class. Changmin had a lot of explaining to do and he would make sure he didn’t escape it!
**
Jaejoong was on cloud 9 for the rest of the day. He couldn’t believe all that had happened on that day. He was still reeling from the peck on the cheek during their last class of the day and didn’t notice that Yunho was fuming beside him. Didn’t notice until the other finally broke the silence after class and let him know.
“What the hell is going on Jaejoong? You’ve been out of it all day and haven’t been paying attention in class. And why did Shim kiss your cheek?!” Yunho’s anger was loud and clear. Anyone would be able to tell, but to Jaejoong it came as a surprise. Yunho had seen the kiss? He blushed as he realized that Yunho might not have been the only person to see it. He’d never been one for that type of PDA’s before.
He cleared his throat before responding. “Ehm, you saw that?” He said weakly and at Yunho’s fuming gaze he continued. “Sorry Yunho. It’s just that I haven’t had a chance to tell you yet… but… well you see…” He didn’t know how to state that Changmin was now his boyfriend. How could he tell Yunho that when the other had known all along how much Changmin was in love with his brother? He hoped Changmin and he had been good actors to not appear fake. They kept walking towards the exit of the school. Today he wouldn’t be walking with Changmin since the other felt that he’d need to explain things to Junsu and it would be more believable if Jaejoong and Yunho weren’t present during his talk.
“Changmin asked me to be his boyfriend today and I accepted.” Jaejoong said embarrassedly while looking down. He couldn’t believe that he was now officially Changmin’s boyfriend in front of everyone else’s eyes even if it wasn’t really true.
He looked back up to see Yunho turn pale. He began feeling a little concerned. Didn’t Yunho tell him to talk to Changmin? He wasn’t serious when he told him that he loved him, was he? Yunho couldn’t really love him the way he loved Changmin… Yunho was like a brother to him. He could never see him as anything other than that.
“You… you can’t be serious… I could have sworn…” Yunho mumbled and Jaejoong frowned in confusion. What was Yunho talking about?
“You could have sworn what Yunho?” Jaejoong asked. He couldn’t possibly know that Changmin loved Su, could he?
“I-I’m happy for you Joongie…” Yunho said shakily and then started to walk off towards his house. Jaejoong frowned because Yunho always walked him to his door before heading home himself.
“Where are you going Yunnie?” He asked, the concern growing since he wasn’t behaving like himself.
“Home Joongie. Talk to you later…” Yunho said as he started to run. Jaejoong couldn’t even say anything. His friend’s behavior worried him. He hadn’t expected that reaction when he thought about telling Yunho eventually about his fake relationship with Changmin during the few time he’d allowed himself to image Yunho’s reaction.
“Ok.” He said weakly as he continued to walk home. He wondered how Changmin was breaking the news to his brother and how his brother was reacting and whether Changmin had been right.
**
“WHAT?!!! YOU’RE WHAT?!!! WITH HYUNG?!!!!” Junsu screamed as he slammed the door to his room and rounded on Changmin. Changmin was momentarily speechless when he faced Junsu. It was moments like this that he was well aware that Junsu wasn’t all cherry pops and fluffy bunnies. He truly could be scary.
“I-I said that I asked your Hyung to be my boyfriend Su…” He whispered. He thought Junsu might get jealous, but never this angry.
“AND YOU SAY IT LIKE IT’S NOT BIG DEAL?!! SINCE WHEN DID YOU LIKE HYUNG?!! IS THAT WHY YOU BEFRIENDED ME? TO BE WITH HYUNG?!!” Junsu’s face looked as red as a tomato and he was shaking from anger. Changmin was shocked that Junsu even thought he liked Jaejoong that far back when it was always Junsu who had attracted Changmin’s attention… at least as far as he remembers.
“Of course not Junsu. I befriended you because you’re kind and warm and friendly!” He shouted back, but then turned red. He was supposed to be praising Jaejoong, not shouting the things that had attracted him to Junsu. He had to make this believable to make it work. “Ehm. And it’s only been a year since I’ve noticed your Hyung in that way. And I finally got brave enough to ask him. I thought you’d support our decision…” He trailed off. He didn’t know how to handle this. He’d thought he knew, that he could control the situation, but it was getting out of control. He didn’t want to lose Junsu because of this. He’d thought he’d just get jealous, maybe ask why he’d not asked him to be his boyfriend, and then he’d work on making Junsu see him as boyfriend material by the way he treated Jaejoong. That’s what he’d thought, but now… he was kind of regretting asking Jaejoong to do this. In that moment his mind flashed to how happy Jaejoong had looked in his presence earlier. He had felt happy to be the one to put him in that mood, since he’d only seen Yunho accomplish that feat before. He shook his head. What the hell was he thinking? He needed to find a way to calm Junsu.
He saw his friend pacing back and forth and decided that groveling was the best method.
“Su-ah. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I promise this won’t get in the way of our friendship. And who knows if it’ll work out with Jaejoong Hyung, neh? So please don’t be angry and support us?” He kneeled in front of Junsu with pleading hands. He couldn’t think beyond looking as remorseful as possible.
“And you really like Hyung Min-ah? You’re not going to hurt him are you? Because I swear if this is a game…” Junsu said, trailing off as he shook his finger in Changmin’s face, still angry but softening. Changmin thought that that right there was the moment he should have confessed to this being a joke. That he shouldn’t risk Junsu’s friendship for the possibility of more. That he was just being selfish in wanting to get more with Junsu when his friend clearly didn’t see him in that light. But then he remembered how that Yoochun was looking at Junsu and how Junsu reacted to Yoochun and he unconsciously clenched his teeth. No, he was doing the right thing. Besides, Jaejoong wouldn’t get hurt, so there was nothing to worry about when Junsu found out the truth. Jaejoong didn’t like him like that, so there was nothing to worry about.
“It’s not a game Junsu. Really. Jaejoong Hyung won’t get hurt, I promise. And I really like him Su-ah.” He smiled, hoping it looked like someone who liked someone else and not like he was creepy. Junsu’s expression soften and he sighed. He knelt down and hugged Changmin, causing Changmin’s heart to speed up its beat. He let go after a few minutes.
“Okay Min. If you really like Hyung, I’m happy for you both. Wow, I can’t believe you’re Hyung’s first boyfriend.” Junsu said shocked.
Changmin almost choked on his own saliva. That couldn’t be right.
“But he’s had girlfriends before, right Su?” He tried, hoping that Junsu would say yes. It couldn’t be that they were both unexperienced with how relationships worked. He’d never been in a relationship because he liked Junsu too much to get with anyone else, but surely Jaejoong has had relationship experience from somewhere.
“Nope. Hyung has never had a relationship. Always said he wasn’t interested in the people at our school, so he never accepted the requests he’s received. After a while people got the hint and stopped asking him. You know, I kinda thought that maybe Yunho Hyung and him might, you know, like each other or something and that maybe that’s why Hyung never got with anyone…” Junsu trailed off, seemingly thinking really hard on the subject while Changmin squirmed. He didn’t like that possibility, but he wasn’t sure why exactly. He tried to dispel the weird feeling and focus back to what Junsu was saying.
“Omo, what if Hyung has always liked you Min? And that’s why he’s never gotten with anyone in school until you asked?” Junsu said shocked. “That’s a long time to like someone.”
Changmin blushed a deep red. He knew that couldn’t be a possibility but it still caused something to flutter in his stomach at the mere thought of someone liking him for that long… well, not just someone but Jaejoong. And then there was the other fact that he had indeed like Junsu for that long and the way Junsu was reacting made him feel as if he needed to be embarrassed for the amount of time he’s liked him.
“N-no. I don’t think that’s it Su. I’m sure your Hyung just wants the experience before leaving high school. Plus, I’ve gotten better looking recently, so he’s just seeing a new side of me and thinks he could give me a chance.” Changmin said jokingly, hoping to get a compliment from Junsu. Junsu looked at him and he blushed under the scrutiny.
“You look the same to me Min, so he must see something else I don’t see?” Junsu shrugged and Changmin felt his hope drop down to the pit of his stomach again. He knew it was too soon for Junsu to see him, but he’d hoped that maybe he didn’t need to keep this farce going for too long. His hope was dash just as quickly. Junsu was definitely not reacting as he’d thought he would.
“Well, we better start our homework Su. I want to get home as soon as possible today.” He needed to regroup after all the shocks today had brought him.
“Okay Min.”
*
It had been an hour since they’d started their homework and Changmin felt the need for a bathroom break. He was just stepping out of the bathroom when he noticed Jaejoong walking downstairs and decided to get something straight now that he had the chance. He followed the other until they ended up in the kitchen, making sure nobody saw them and grabbed his hand so that they could go to the pantry to talk. Jaejoong had squeaked in surprise, but followed none the less until they were enclosed in the small room that stored all kinds of things the Kims thought went into a pantry (including a mop and broom).
“Changmin, you scared me.” Jaejoong whispered. Changmin supposed he figured they should keep it down since Changmin felt the need to enclose them in this room.
“Sorry Hyung.” Changmin whispered back, embarrassed of his actions since they looked so sketchy, but he needed to clarify this as soon as possible. “But I needed to ask you something. Is it true that I’d be technically your first boyfriend or relationship ever?” He asked, still shocked at the fact. He didn’t think Jaejoong lacked any admirers, since it seemed the Kim family was blessed with good looking members. For some reason he couldn’t get over the fact that he hadn’t been with anyone else.
He saw the shade of red that spread all over Jaejoong’s face and didn’t need the confirmation that was soon given in a small “Yes.”
He relied on the wall, shocked. He’d thought… “But how can that be? You’re far from ugly and everyone likes you once they get to know you… how could you not have been in a relationship before?” He asked puzzled. Jaejoong just turned redder.
“W-well, I just… it never… I mean… what does it matter?” He squeaked out and Changmin finally looked up into the red face and smiled. Jaejoong looked adorable with that shade of red, small frown, and pouting lips. He’d never noticed that Jaejoong also liked to pout his lips so often when he felt confused.
“I just thought… you’re right. It doesn’t matter. But all this time I thought you knew how to be in a relationship and that you’d tell me if something I said or did was inappropriate to our... arrangement. Hahaha, guess we’ll learn together then Hyung.” Changmin smiled and couldn’t help feeling the light feeling settling in his chest. For some reason, learning things with Jaejoong didn’t sound so bad to him at the moment and at least he’d find out whether he was good at relationships or not based off of their experience.
“Hahahaha, yeah….” Jaejoong trailed off while looking down. Changmin stayed staring for a moment, unable to help himself from studying someone he’d never thought twice to look at, until said person cleared their throat loudly and fidgeted. “Well, I better get back to my homework. Yunnie will be here in a little while and I was trying to finish up in order to help him with something he’s struggling with. See you Min-ah.” And with that Jaejoong quickly pecked Changmin’s cheek and left the storage room.
Changmin couldn’t figure out why his chest felt tight when hearing Jaejoong’s nickname to Yunho or why his cheeks felt as if flames were licking at them or why he could still feel the pouty lips on his skin after Jaejoong had left. Something was definitely going on with him, but he refused to acknowledge it.
*
Jaejoong nervously paced his room and tried not to panic at his actions and lie. Of course Yunho wasn’t going to come today. He seemed sad the last time he left him, but he couldn’t come up with a better lie to get out of that storage room and left the presence of Changmin. He had surprised him with his question and he couldn’t exactly tell him why he hadn’t been in a relationship with anyone. He just hoped that Changmin was too busy with Junsu to notice his lie.
Jaejoong touched his lips and smiled goofily as he remembered how warm Changmin’s cheek had been. He couldn’t believe he’d done that. And he couldn’t believe that Changmin had let him. For some reason, he felt something had shifted in their relationship lately, even if he couldn’t pin point what that shift had been. He was just happy that everything was coming out so well. Even though Changmin still talked a lot about his brother, he had noticed he would look at him more often than before. He couldn’t help the hope blossom further at the fact that Changmin didn’t think he was ugly. He hadn’t felt this much hope since… he didn’t know since when.
But he hadn’t lied completely. He really did need to finish homework. Now if he could only concentrate and stop thinking about Changmin, he’d be good to go. With that thought Jaejoong went back to his homework, trying not to wonder how their fake relationship could become real.
*****
Changmin waited nervously by the door to Jaejoong’s classroom. It seemed Jaejoong had been detained by his teacher and they seemed to be conversing about something. The wait was making Changmin more nervous.
It had been a week since their fake relationship was revealed to everyone and so far it seemed that Junsu had reverted back to his cheerful go lucky self and didn’t even bat an eye anymore when Changmin and Jaejoong linked their hands together or when they stared at each other across a room. In fact, it seemed Junsu got closer to that Yoochun guy the more the days passed and that was driving Changmin crazy. It was time to start enacting the next step to their plan, and that’s what had him nervous. He didn’t know how to ask Jaejoong that they needed to start being more physical in their pretend relationship. So far Jaejoong had been a good sport and allowed Changmin to do as he pleased. Hug him whenever he wanted or link their hands. Pick him up from places. But boyfriends normally kissed in public from time to time right? So it was time for them to start kissing to cement the relationship. That would be as far as they would go in their pretend relationship. If in two more weeks Changmin didn’t succeed in making Junsu notice him, no matter how it broke his heart, he’d have to admit defeat. He couldn’t be using Jaejoong this way for much longer, he didn’t feel right.
He’d thought he’d made progress when he’d revealed his relationship with Jaejoong, but now it’s as if that was just a minor bump and that the only reason why Junsu reacted at all was to protect his brother’s feelings and his friendship with Changmin. If seeing Jaejoong and him kiss didn’t spark anything in Junsu, then Changmin would just have to admit that Junsu just couldn’t see him that way and that even though he could make Junsu the happiest guy on earth that if that guy didn’t want to give him a chance it wasn’t meant to be. He’d have to move on.
This thought depressed him so much that he relaxed a little. Surely Jaejoong wouldn’t object to kissing, would he? It’d just be peck, nothing more. He’d make sure to tell that to Jaejoong Hyung. He was just glad that Junsu was in a hurry to get to his house and that he wouldn’t be waiting to walk with them. It’d give Changmin a chance to talk to Jaejoong about this next step. Sure they had discussed it before, but they hadn’t agreed on when they’d finally be broaching this step.
Jaejoong exited the classroom with a smile and Changmin swallowed hard. His nervousness hitting him once again as if the short reprieve was all in his head. He looked away from Jaejoong when he noticed he was staring a little too intently at his lips. He shook his head and finally found his voice to great his Hyung.
“Hi Jae Hyung. Junsu left to your house already, said he had a test he needed to study for stat and that he couldn’t wait for you to go out. Is that alright?” Changmin asked as he began walking with Jaejoong down the hall.
“Sure Min. Why wouldn’t it be?” Jaejoong questioned, looking confused. Changmin cleared his throat awkwardly. Seriously, why would it be out of the ordinary? He didn’t know why he’d said that.
“N-no reason. Um, Jae Hyung… I-I needed to discuss something with you…” Changmin trailed off as he felt his voice leave him. He couldn’t believe that he was so nervous about this. Surely Jaejoong wouldn’t end their agreement just because they were going to kiss? Surely a kiss wasn’t that big of a deal?
“What is it Changmin-ah?” Jaejoong stopped walking abruptly and Changmin finally noticed that they were closer to their houses than he’d first thought. Wow, did time fly by without him noticing.
“Well, you know how we had discussed what this fake relationship would entail? Um, you see, I’ve given myself a time limit of two more weeks. I can’t keep waiting for Junsu to see me as someone he wants to be with forever and I can’t force this relationship on you forever either…” Changmin trailed off as he chuckled awkwardly and scratched his neck. “So, the final step left in our relationship is a-a kiss.” Changmin looked everywhere but at Jaejoong. Nervousness eating at him. He didn’t understand why he felt so nervous. “A-and in order to make the kiss seem natural we have to-to p-practice. But don’t feel you have to do it Hyung! J-just let me know if you decide not to and we’ll end things right here right-”
“NO! I-I mean there’s no need to end things ahead of time Hahahahaha.” Jaejoong chuckled awkwardly before clearing his throat. Changmin stared at him in shock of his outburst. “I-I mean, we had talked about it before and I had agreed to this, so it doesn’t come to a shock to me that it was the next step. It is sooner than I’d first thought, b-but I know that things aren’t progressing as you’d hoped and I understand that you want to speed things along. So, okay Min. W-when do we…” Jaejoong gestured with his hands in a ‘proceed’ gesture while blushing furiously.
Changmin cleared his throat nervously, feeling butterflies in his stomach due to the unexpected willingness of the elder. He hadn’t thought it’d be this easy to get Jaejoong to agree to the practices. He thought he’d say that maybe they didn’t need to practice and that kissing once in front of Junsu would be enough to cement their relationship in his brother’s eyes.
“I-uh-we could-um- now?” He asked while looking around. They were in a deserted street it seemed. Nobody was out and about and they had as much privacy as they would probably have. At least, that’s what Changmin thought.
“OK!”
One minute Changmin was standing in the street, the next he was getting dragged by Jaejoong to his house. Changmin was so shocked that he didn’t protest and just followed his Hyung into the house and past Junsu’s room to Jaejoong’s.
Once the door closed, Jaejoong made sure to lock it. They both stared at each other with wide eyes while they breathed heavily due to their speed walking routing. Changmin didn’t know what to do with himself and decided to just sit down on Jaejoong’s bed. He noticed how Jaejoong was also nervous and hesitantly sat down next to Changmin. For some reason, Changmin felt electricity in the air and tension among themselves. He didn’t know what to do to dispel it, so just cleared his throat and said, “O-okay Hyung, let’s start.”
He leaned in towards Jaejoong, but at the very last minute swerved to his cheek and pecked him there. “Ah, s-sorry Hyung.” He nervously leaned back again, breathing heavily. Okay, so maybe he couldn’t do it. How could he? His first kiss was supposed to be with the person he loved and even though he knew this was necessary he wasn’t sure he could go through with it. Jaejoong was a nice person, was handsome, was kind… but he loved Kim Junsu.
*
Jaejoong felt his heart break when Changmin swerved at the last minute. He suspected the younger guy was finally realizing it wasn’t as easy as he’d thought it’d be. Especially when he didn’t have the adrenaline jealousy provided to help ease the way to the kiss. Jaejoong also realized that he might be the one to take charge here. If he could only show Min that they had something… that he was just as good as his brother if not better for him… maybe this was where Jaejoong could open his eyes and show him he was right there before him and that he would do anything to keep him by his side.
He grabbed the younger man’s hand to comfort him. “It’s okay Minnie. I know this might be hard for you, hence why we need practice neh? Hahaha.” Clearing his throat, he said, “We’ll go slow, okay?”
Jaejoong hadn’t exactly kissed anyone either, so he had no skills to boast about, but he was older and had seen others kissing more than maybe Changmin had.
“Eh, I think we should face each other to start with…” Jaejoong said nervously and stood up to grab a chair, placing it in front of Changmin. He sat down on it.
“Okay, now we’ll start slow. Look at me Min…” Jaejoong whispered as he picked up his hands to hold onto Changmin’s face. He cleared his throat as his whole body drummed with excitement, dread, and anticipation. His palms felt sweaty on Changmin’s face and he hoped the younger one didn’t notice it too much. He prompted Changmin to come closer by pulling his face forward. Changmin was like a puppet and just followed his hands, all the while still gazing into Jaejoong’s eyes without saying anything. Taking a deep calming breath, Jaejoong leaned forward and kissed Changmin’s forehead slowly. When he pulled back Changmin’s breathing had calmed down and he was closing his eyes. Jaejoong smiled as he noticed the other calming down and just letting him take charge for once. Jaejoong then leaned in again and placed another gentle kiss to Changmin’s left eye. Followed by his right eye. Then his right cheek, his left… all the pecks were lingering and gentle, trying to sooth the nerves he had and the nerves Changmin had. He kissed Changmin’s nose next, then his chin, and he paused a breath’s away from Changmin’s lips. He stared at the plump wide lips he’d dreamed about so many times, unable to believe that he’d finally feel them against his. Before his eyes Changmin’s lips parted slightly and before he could lean forward he felt Changmin’s lips against his, causing him to gasp softly. The contact was brief, but he could feel the warmth from the kiss to his toes.
“S-sorry H-hyung. You were taking so long and I thought-”
“Shh.” Jaejoong whispered before he leaned in again, letting his lips rest against Changmin’s a little longer, extending his lips to allow contact as long as possible when leaning back and feeling his body tremble at how much a kiss felt good. “It’s okay. We’re practicing remember. We should be able to do this without feeling awkward with each other.” He whispered before kissing Changmin softly again, tilting his head slightly to change the angle and allow more comfort in the kiss. He leaned back again when he felt that he couldn’t take the contact anymore, when it felt too much. He could feel his breathing increase as his body temperature started to rise.
“Y-yes. You’re right.” Changmin said as he leaned forward, taking a hold of Jaejoong’s nape and guiding him to his lips again. This time the kiss felt different since it was Changmin the one initiating it for a second time. Jaejoong gasp when he first felt Changmin’s lips move against his. In the previous kisses they’d just kept their lips straight, not moving and just enjoying the soft contact of their lips against each other… of the textures that they felt.
But now… there was a pressure against his lips and when they moved, they caused a tingling sensation to originate from his mouth to the rest of his body, especially when he felt the soft interior of Changmin’s lips. During one of the continuous kisses, Changmin actually sucked Jaejoong’s bottom lip and Jaejoong couldn’t prevent a sound he’d never heard before from escaping the back of his throat. He separated from Changmin abruptly, staring wide eyed. He was embarrassed that he’d made that sound and felt his cheeks heat up accordingly. And he became shocked once more when he noticed that Changmin’s eyes were dilated and he was panting lightly, as if…
“I-I-I think we n-need to stop for t-today Min.” Jaejoong said shakily while getting up and turning away. He barely realized that his pants felt a little tight and that he too was panting lightly. Were his eyes also… he ran a hand through his hair.
“Y-you’re right Hyung. I-I’ll be leaving then.” Jaejoong didn’t turn around to see Changmin leave for fear of him seeing his state more closely. He let out a loud breath when he heard Junsu yell “YAH, MIN!! DON’T IGNORE MY QUESTION!!!”
It seemed that he wasn’t the only one shaken up by that kiss and Jaejoong didn’t know whether to feel elation or worry.
***
It had been three days since the incident, as he liked to call it, and he still couldn’t get his mind to move on from that one moment in which he’d forgotten everything about Junsu and could only think about the soft lips he had been in possession of. He wasn’t sure that he’d have gone through with the whole situation if he’d known that was the effect the kiss would have on him.
Gone were the days where he was the confident, strong dongsaeng who knew what he was doing. He hadn’t been able to face Junsu properly since the event and had avoided Jaejoong altogether. He couldn’t even continue with their pretend relationship and hid from Jaejoong as much as possible, unable to face him after what had happened.
He’d never expected a kiss to change his world so much.
He hadn’t had a chance to notice whether Junsu looked at him or paid attention to him since he spent every waking moment trying to decipher what exactly had happened. Every time he’d caught a glimpse of Jaejoong he’d turn red as he remembered the taste and touch of those rosy plump lips against his own. And he’d feel a heat start in his lower abdomen when he remembered the sound the other had made. He’d run in the opposite direction and poor soul that got in his way because he’d trample them over in his haste to not be seen by the older guy. He didn’t understand his behavior and couldn’t change the fact that he couldn’t face him at the moment. He needed to figure out what was wrong with him before he faced Jaejoong Hyung again.
*
Jaejoong didn’t know what he’d done wrong. Changmin was avoiding him and he didn’t know if maybe he’d gone too far with the kiss. But, he’d kept it light and innocent. It was Changmin who had made it more than they could both handle. Jaejoong shook his head. It was no use to get angry at the events when it was the most awesome thing that had ever happened to him. He finally had his chance to make Changmin notice him and he just hoped that Changmin’s reluctance to see him just meant that maybe his goal had been achieved. Just thinking of that made him incredibly happy, but he knew his life wasn’t that easy so he kept a tight lid on that hope.
If Changmin didn’t approach him by the end of this week, he’d approach him.
He’d finally decided, regardless of what happened, he’d confess to Changmin this Friday. Changmin would finally know the truth and Jaejoong hoped it’d be enough to give each other a chance.
**
On the fourth day, Changmin finally realized what was wrong with him and it happened in a way he didn’t expect.
He was looking outside the window distractedly again, like he always did, when he noticed two guys walking slowly until they stopped underneath a tree. He stopped breathing when he noticed that it was Yunho and Jaejoong, seemingly in a deep conversation. He was lost for a moment looking at the Hyung he’d run way from practically the whole week when he saw Yunho suddenly grasped Jaejoong and pulled him in for a forceful kiss. Something in Changmin snapped and he jumped out of his seat and stormed out of the class ignoring the teacher’s shouts at him to stop.
He didn’t know what came over him, only that he had an uncontrollable fury within him. Who the hell did Yunho think he was?! Taking what wasn’t his. He ran until he was directly in front of the pair and pulled Yunho off a distressed looking Jaejoong. He made sure to get in between them both.
“What the hell are you doing?!! Jaejoong is MY boyfriend! How DARE you kiss him?!” Changmin yelled as he tried to control his fury. He couldn’t even speak correctly.
Yunho looked dumbfounded and then furious. “What kind of boyfriend are you Changmin?!” The contempt could be heard in that single word. “You leave Joongie to stress out because of your disappearance and now you storm here saying he’s your boyfriend when you haven’t behaved that way in almost a week already? Ha, don’t make me laugh.”
“Yunho! What’s gotten into you?!” Jaejoong yelled, shocked at Yunho’s words.
“You belong with me Joongie! Not with this, this indecisive child for god’s sake!” Yunho screamed furiously.
Changmin made to punch Yunho but Jaejoong stopped him, getting in front of him.
“I don’t know what’s gotten into you Yunho, but Changmin’s MY boyfriend and you had no right to kiss me like that. Leave now before this gets ugly, and talk to me when you’re feeling like yourself again.” With that Jaejoong turned around, grabbed Changmin’s reluctant form and dragged him away from the tree and any living soul in sight. They had begun to attract a crowd and he didn’t want Changmin to get in trouble.
They stopped in an isolated area not far from the school exit and for a moment it seemed that it was only them two. Once they realized this they stayed quiet feeling awkward and then both burst into explanation at the same time.
“I’m sor-”
“Jae-”
They stopped at the same time, embarrassed and then cleared their throats.
“I’m sorry Changmin. I didn’t want that kiss, I’d never cheat on my boyfriend, even if what we have isn’t real.” Jaejoong said with conviction, trying to show Changmin the truth of his words.
“I’m sorry too Jae Hyung. I didn’t mean to go psychotic there, hehehe. Ehm, I don’t-” he stopped then, because it was then that he realized what his problem had been all along. He’d felt jealousy before when he’d seen Junsu with others and when he’d thought Junsu liked someone else, but he’d never acted on that jealousy before. Not in the way he’d reacted with Jaejoong. It was as if he couldn’t stand someone else touching what was his and his brain couldn’t distinguish what was real and what was fake.
He realized that he had feelings for Jaejoong and that they had awakened within him slowly the more he interacted with him. His eyes widened and he looked at Jaejoong, with seemingly new eyes. He saw the worry the other displayed, the way he nervously chewed on his bottom lip waiting to hear what else he had to say. And then he noticed something else too. Something that he hadn’t realized before but now could see.
“Jae Hyung… can I, can I kiss you?” He asked because he wanted to see something he hadn’t noticed before.
“W-what?” Jaejoong said in shock.
“Can I kiss you?” Changmin asked with more confidence. He knew what he was after now and he wasn’t about to be deterred by his nerves.
“I-uh-yes.” Jaejoong said nervously, his heart beating a thousand miles a minute.
Changmin leaned in slowly, just as they had practice and united their lips in a gently kiss. As he deepened the kiss, he felt the other’s body surrender to his and slowly incline against him as he maneuvered their bodies against the wall. In that kiss he could feel all the feelings he newly discovered within himself and the feelings he now knew the other had for him.
As their mouths parted, he remembered everything in his life that included Jaejoong. Their first meeting, the way that the other seemed so cold and reserved in front of him, the odd looks he’d see sometimes when he’d surprised the oldest staring at his brother and him from across the room. It all made sense to Changmin now and he realized that he felt a pressure release from within his chest and that he could breathe once more. Something he hadn’t realized he had until the moment it had stop constricting him.
Jaejoong loved him, just as he loves Junsu, but not the same. The kiss was separated just as gently as it had started and Changmin stared into the deep dark eyes that captivated him against his will.
“Jae Hyung…” he whispered, “since when have you been in love with me?”
It seemed that that question shocked Jaejoong because his mouth gaped, opening and closing as if he was a fish out of water. Changmin smiled at the adorable expression, unable to hide his amusement and kissed his cheek before letting him go so that they could talk.
“I-I-I… how did you-” Jaejoong couldn’t seem to stream sentences together and Changmin smiled once more. He couldn’t believe he’d never realized the depth of Jaejoong’s feelings until now. It was clear in the way the other guy saw him, and in the way he’d reacted to his hug, in the way he’d kissed him that first time, to the way he talked to him. He now remembered how pale he’d become when Changmin had first approached him with the proposal of a fake relationship and how he’d looked sad but had still agreed.
How had Changmin not noticed before?
“Once you take the time to see, it’s obvious Hyung. So are you going to tell me? You know, once Junsu said that you might have not been in a relationship because you were in love with me. Is that true?” For some reason, he actually felt satisfied if that was true. He’d like to think that he could inspire that type of love in someone.
“I-I… yes Min-ah. I’ve loved you since I laid eyes on you… only I didn’t know it then.” Jaejoong said quietly and looked down, seeming ashamed to reveal that much.
Changmin felt his chest warm up and his stomach flutter at the words. All that time… Jaejoong Hyung loved him? He didn’t think he was worth of such devotion. Jaejoong was… he was an exceptional human being. At least he’d discovered that in the short time they’d spent together and in the years of observing him taking care of Junsu.
Junsu.
Changmin didn’t know what to think anymore. On one hand, discovering that Jaejoong loved him and that he wasn’t indifferent to Jaejoong was surreal. On the other, he’d loved Junsu all his life, yet he didn’t think it was similar to the feelings he was developing for Jaejoong. Somehow, with Jaejoong, everything seemed… more. It was too early in this discovery to unveil all that he felt, but one thing was for sure, he didn’t want to lose this opportunity to discover what could be with Jaejoong. He wasn’t willing to let him go.
“Jae… I-I’ve loved Junsu all my life-” Changmin stopped when he noticed the hurt on Jaejoong’s face and immediately corrected himself, “I mean, I think I’ve loved Junsu all my life. I don’t know any more what the feelings I have for him and the feelings I’ve developed for you mean, but I’m willing to find out Jae Hyung.” He smiled while rubbing Jaejoong’s cheek with his palm. He didn’t care how corny that looked. “What I’m trying to say is… would you accept to being my boyfriend for real? I want us to try to discover if we’re compatible if we try this relationship for real. Even if it doesn’t work out, I’m willing to try if you are.”
Changmin felt as if he was in a dream, but at the same time couldn’t let this… whatever it was… escape. He didn’t care how fast this seemed.
When Jaejoong smiled brightly, with so much hope, he couldn’t regret his decision.
“I-yes Changmin!” Jaejoong said excitedly and then laughed happily while hugging Changmin tightly. Changmin felt that flutter in his stomach, that warmth in his chest, and couldn’t help the happiness that he felt at the decision he’d made.
Even if his feelings were jumbled at the moment, he felt as if he was taking the right decision. He’d started this whole charade with the hopes of capturing Kim Junsu’s heart, when Kim Jaejoong’s had been his all along.
And he couldn’t help the feeling that that’s exactly what he’d been after all along.
-Fin-
A/N: As you can see, I’ve linked this oneshot to a verse format, meaning that whenever I want I can add another section to their stories. ^_^ But I hope that this oneshot has the power to stop your dwelling so that you don’t have to wait to see what happens next if you don’t want to. Kk, see ya guys later!