Caught Unaware (10/13-15?)
Title: Caught Unaware II
Author jaceni
Pairing: Jaemin, minor Hosu
Genre: Slight Angst, Romance, AU
Rating: NC-17
Warning: Yaoi, smut, reluctance, psychotic behavior, slightly dark
Length: Chaptered (10/13-15?)
Beta: chocofudge_love <-- Thanks so much for doing this. ^^
Summary: He'd finally caught him, but what to do with him now? The boy was more stubborn than he'd initially thought, but he'd crack... they all did... eventually.
.~~~Chapter 10~~~.
"Please, please, please don't leave me... please, please, please don't leave me..." Changmin kept repeating that mantra, replaying in his head, unconsciously as images of a childhood that couldn't be his flashed through his mind.
Why wouldn't they leave his head? How come he couldn't stop rocking his body or stop shivering as he felt coldness encompass him?
He didn't seem capable of disentangling his hands from his knees, didn't really hear what he was saying, as he rocked back and forth, completely lost in one of those flashbacks. He didn't hear the door open, didn't hear as someone called out his name or when the bar door opened. He didn't see a shape coming closer to him, but yelled out in alarm as a hand touched his shoulder. He felt the warmth of that hand and looked up, blinked his eyes into focus and finally saw the person in front of him for the first time since he'd arrived.
"H-Hero?" He questioned, his brows furrowed as he tried to remember if he'd been there all along.
Jaejoong looked alarmed as he looked down at him. He was about to withdraw his hand, but Changmin beat him to it and took it in one of his own. The warmth the hand provided brought back the lucidity in his mind and it comforted Changmin a little. He didn't know what was happening to him, but for some reason Jaejoong seemed to ground him and he leeched onto that comfort.
Jaejoong looked shocked and ready to fight back, but when he noticed all Changmin did was hold onto his hand, he relaxed a fraction and his face became expressionless once more. Changmin observed all that and was finally able to phrase his thoughts, never letting go of the hand that had anchored him. Maybe an outside perspective, no matter how crazy it seemed to rely on his kidnapper, would help.
"Isn't it weird? The way I'm behaving? Bet you didn't expect to kidnap a deranged victim. But then again, you must be a little deranged yourself if you kidnapped someone just because they mistook you for a woman." He chuckled lightly before he continued seriously.
"I keep having these images in my head, but don't remember ever experiencing them. I think maybe they're from before... but that can't be. It's too ludicrous." He laughed a little hysterically before he continued, focusing on a point beyond Jaejoong's shoulder.
"This seemed to have started since you put this 'THING' on me!" He yanked angrily at the chain with his free hand and tightened his grip on Jaejoong's hand a little. But just as his anger suddenly came, it was gone in the next minute.
He felt drained. He looked straight into Jaejoong's eyes, the same emotionless expression still there on Jaejoong's face, as he asked, "Why am I acting so weird? Do you think that maybe I've had a trauma dealing with being chained up? A subconscious emotional turmoil that I might have? Something psychological? Or maybe a phobia of some sort? Because just hearing the chains clanking against each other is enough to give me chills of dread and feeling the pressure around my ankle feels as if my heart is being squeezed tightly by an invisible hand... and..." Changmin trailed off as he felt the pressure of tears well up in his eyes and his throat constricting tightly.
If he continued, he might actually cry, he wouldn't be able to blame it on whatever the hell he'd called those hysterical attacks that he's been having. Right now he was in his right state of mind. He couldn't tell Jaejoong that he felt as if someone dear to him would leave him... had left him. That those crazy emotions are what made him cling to him so desperately when he wasn't in his full senses. And that just being near him brought him peace of mind and made his heart...
What was wrong with him?! He was never this much of a cry baby before. Not even when he'd found himself without memories when he was a child. Not even when he would fall and get hurt nor when Yunho had been missing for weeks and he couldn't find him. But just a feeling caused him to want to burst out in tears? Why was he acting so pathetic?
He cleared his throat and abruptly let go of Jaejoong's hand, ignoring how the warmth was gone as soon as the contact was broken. He maneuvered the chains into a more comfortable position, ignoring how just the sound brought chills all over his body and heart, and gathered the sheets over him as he laid down on the bed, ready to go to sleep. But he had to say something else, so he turned once more to Jaejoong.
Jaejoong looked thoughtful as he held onto his own hand, the hand that Changmin had just held onto. Changmin chose to ignore that as he tried to gather courage to say what he was about to say.
"J-Jaejoong..."Changmin trailed off uncertainly, not sure if he should ask and if he'd be rejected, but he had to try. When he noticed Jaejoong looked at him, he continued. "C-could you stay with me until I fall asleep? I-I'd feel better if you did... I-I feel safer-" once he realized what he'd said and was about to say, his eyes widened and he blushed. He turned away from Jaejoong, curled into a fetal position and closed his eyes tightly as he became more embarrassed. What was he? A child that needed protection? He was a grown man for God's sake!
When he felt the bed dip, he opened his eyes widely, but still faced the opposite direction from Jaejoong.
'What the heck? I didn't really mean for him to stay ON the bed with me. J-just in the room.' Changmin thought as his heart pounded rapidly in his chest and he stiffened instinctively. He suddenly became really aware of the fact that he was naked and that the blanket he pulled over himself was the only clothing he had. When he felt Jaejoong's body heat near his back, but no movements after that, he waited with bated breath to see what else happened. As the minutes passed by, and nothing else happened, he relaxed and ignored the little disappointment he felt.
The steady breathing of the other body in the same room relaxed him. Knowing someone else was with him brought him a peace of mind he hadn't realized he missed... that knowing that you aren't alone and that someone... cared. He realized it was a stupid idea. Why would Jaejoong care for him? He seemed to really dislike him in the beginning, that he just wanted to humiliate him, but now... with that silent agreement to stay... he couldn't completely discard the care card. Knowing that Jaejoong cared for him brought a small flutter to his stomach. It was weird.
While thinking about all that, Changmin's eyes slowly drifted close. He didn't realize he was falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.
**
Jaejoong looked up at the ceiling as he thought about Changmin's recent reactions. He felt that things were definitely getting out of control and he didn't know what to do anymore.
He feared looking at the video recordings he had of Changmin.
For the other couples he'd taken, he didn't mind looking back at the exact point in which everything changed. Didn't mind looking at the fear in their eyes, at how they adapted to their circumstances. But for some reason he feared what he might see in Changmin's video recordings.
It's funny. He never thought himself a coward. It never came up, especially with the things he dealt in with his business. If he'd been a coward, he wouldn't have succeeded to this degree and probably would have been dead by now.
Yet... here he was. Afraid and not daring to look at those damn videos because of what he might see, might discover. And he knew he had to. It was the only way to sort the feelings he'd been having lately, but he refused. He'd rather just deal with the confusion and let things flow... something that he'd never dealt with before, but somehow appealed to him. He supposed that the whole kidnapping routine was beginning to get old to him subconsciously and that's why he needed to break from the routine. It was funny how anything repeated, no matter how unconventional it might be, became routine after repeating it for a while.
Is this what it felt like to mature? To figure out that it's time to stop playing childish games and think of a future... he shook his head, trying to erase that train of thought.
He stopped thinking for a while after he heard the soft snoring sounds emanating from Changmin.
'So he finally fell asleep.' He thought to himself as he observed the body facing away from him. He wondered how long it'd been since Changmin had fallen asleep. It'd probably had been a while.
Suddenly, Changmin slowly began to turn and ended lying on his back, his face facing Jaejoong. Jaejoong's heart did a little leap before it settled down again. Seeing the other's face so close to his seemed to have that effect.
'Why couldn't I refuse you... why did I feel as if my heart would burst out of my chest when you said you felt safe with me?' Jaejoong wondered as he stared at the peaceful face next to his.
He looked at the pale tan skin, pale because he wasn't exposed to the sun. Looked at the dark fringe of bangs covering half an eye and noticed that it'd grown since he'd first brought Changmin to the room. Noticed that Changmin seemed to be the type to not grow facial hair, must be due to his age, because even with the length of time he'd been there he didn't show facial hair growing. Noticed the high cheekbones that looked pale at the moment, but would flush with embarrassment, more so recently than before. Before they used to flush with anger.
Before he even realized what he was doing, his hand began to caress the high cheekbones of the sleeping man next to him. He felt that weird heat and tingling sensation he always felt when he touched Changmin. He withdrew his hand once more and noticed how Changmin frowned in his sleep. Looking at the addicting lips, he wondered how they would feel like underneath his fingertips once more. If they'd feel the same way as before or if they'd feel different now that they were relaxed because the owner of them was sleeping. His hand went back to the others face and caressed, with his thumb, over Changmin's lower lip, noting that they weren't hot under his touch… just warm and plaint. He looked up from those lips to see whether Changmin was still asleep and was relieved to note the other was still sleeping deeply... the frown gone from his forehead. He looked so relaxed that Jaejoong envied that peacefulness. He couldn't understand how Changmin could be relaxed with everything he was going through.
He suddenly wanted to taste those lips again and began to lean towards them.
' I-I feel safer-'
Jaejoong backed away and withdrew his hand, abruptly getting out of the bed. Just remembering what Changmin had said and knowing exactly what the other was about to say even when he hadn't caused his chest to burn with warmth and for shame to fill him at taking advantage of the sleeping man… especially when the other had just confessed his feelings on what was haunting him.
But the pressure... the warmth in his chest was unbearable.
It was a pressure he never felt before. It weighed his shoulders down, yet at the same time lightened a load within him. This pressure seemed to be associated with being responsible for someone other than himself... it created a satisfaction at providing comfort to another... at helping someone with their demons... of being the person they relied on... someone they possibly needed.
Of experiencing this feeling first hand as oppose to observing it happen with others.
What the fuck was wrong with him?! He needed to get a grip on himself before he did something stupid and actually considered such a stupid notion as thinking that Changmin truly needed him or that he relied on him. That was a dangerous thing to consider, especially with his profession. He could never let himself get attached to someone. It could lead to his enemies using it as a weakness.
He abruptly marched to the cell door and opened it, locking it behind him. He looked once more to Changmin and shook his head when he felt the need to get back into that bed and stay close to him. He always thought he'd lose his mind eventually, just never thought it'd be this soon. He got out of the room, locking it, before heading to his room. He stripped down to his boxers and got ready for bed methodically, automatically, not processing what he was doing. And when he finally was able to close his eyes, with the image of Changmin behind his eyelids, his last thought was 'What happened to you Changmin...'
Chapter 11
A/N: Sorry for cutting it short guys, but couldn't continue with the rest yet. Especially since the whole drama will unfold after this. Need to be constantly writing it, and since after this update I'll be only concentrating on ID I couldn't continue it. K, my estimation is that this story will conclude when it hits approximately 13-15 chapters, so 3-5 chapters to go for the end. :D And you know how I like to go on mini hiatus when I want to finish something, so this is the hiatus mode for this story. I'll work on it when I finish ID, so that I don't drag it out longer than necessary. Thank you all for being so patient and waiting and for reading. ^__^ See you.