(no subject)
Annoying thing: Those itches that are SOMEWHERE on your body but don't correctly register where they are with the bit of your brain that keeps track of these things, so there's no relief for them even after you've spent ten minutes hopefully poking bits of yourself in case that's where it's hiding.
"Not there. Not there. Not there. Not there. Not there. Dammit."
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Plans are being made. This doesn't remove the underlying problem, namely that I'm a great big dumbhead who didn't get any higher education due to being stuck in the Valleys where education is sort of a thing that happens to other areas, but plans are being made.
I've been at L&G for, oh, eight years nearly to the day. It's crippling me. It's already killed my work ethic and removed most of my ability to muster up the enthusiasm to do anything, and the constant air of 'everything you do isn't enough' is just exacerbating the problem.
So. I'm chucking it in.
This is without a doubt hugely irresponsible, but it's been a long time coming. I'm going to stockpile all the money I can over the next two months, and all other things being equal I'm giving my notice in July, with a view to leaving just after my birthday.
Then I am going to go and sit on velos in the SF Bay Area for a few months, to see how that goes and generally unwind and see if my head starts working again. Lots of running in the sun. Lots of lounging around being fanned with palm leaves. Lots of socialising. That sort of thing.
Meantime, terrana will be maintaining the place here, so I have somewhere to come back to when the visa waiver plan expels me like some sort of simile for a thing that is expelled. What will happen then is all sort of up in the air and needs more information. Not having concrete plans in place is scary and new - I tend to think ahead where I can, at least in the medium term (for all I preach red-mage-like flexibility in the extreme-short-term) and it's all just a bit odd.
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I'm excited, and terrified, and there's that strange sensation of not-quite-rightness that greets the cessation of any particular habit, even one that's unhealthy. But by and large, despite the fact that there's a niggling little voice in the back of my mind telling me what a bad idea this is and trying to talk me out of it, I'm just going to do it anyhow, because I spend far too much time trying to look after things that are really outside my control and it's time to stop.
---
Uh, yeah. In six months' time when I'm whining about how stupid I was to do all this, you can throw stuff at me.
"Not there. Not there. Not there. Not there. Not there. Dammit."
---
Plans are being made. This doesn't remove the underlying problem, namely that I'm a great big dumbhead who didn't get any higher education due to being stuck in the Valleys where education is sort of a thing that happens to other areas, but plans are being made.
I've been at L&G for, oh, eight years nearly to the day. It's crippling me. It's already killed my work ethic and removed most of my ability to muster up the enthusiasm to do anything, and the constant air of 'everything you do isn't enough' is just exacerbating the problem.
So. I'm chucking it in.
This is without a doubt hugely irresponsible, but it's been a long time coming. I'm going to stockpile all the money I can over the next two months, and all other things being equal I'm giving my notice in July, with a view to leaving just after my birthday.
Then I am going to go and sit on velos in the SF Bay Area for a few months, to see how that goes and generally unwind and see if my head starts working again. Lots of running in the sun. Lots of lounging around being fanned with palm leaves. Lots of socialising. That sort of thing.
Meantime, terrana will be maintaining the place here, so I have somewhere to come back to when the visa waiver plan expels me like some sort of simile for a thing that is expelled. What will happen then is all sort of up in the air and needs more information. Not having concrete plans in place is scary and new - I tend to think ahead where I can, at least in the medium term (for all I preach red-mage-like flexibility in the extreme-short-term) and it's all just a bit odd.
---
I'm excited, and terrified, and there's that strange sensation of not-quite-rightness that greets the cessation of any particular habit, even one that's unhealthy. But by and large, despite the fact that there's a niggling little voice in the back of my mind telling me what a bad idea this is and trying to talk me out of it, I'm just going to do it anyhow, because I spend far too much time trying to look after things that are really outside my control and it's time to stop.
---
Uh, yeah. In six months' time when I'm whining about how stupid I was to do all this, you can throw stuff at me.