Fic: For the Sake of a Friend, (Logan/Veronica), PG-13, 5/WIP
Title: For the Sake of a Friend, (Logan/Veronica), PG-13, 5/WIP
Author: jacedesbff supported by Merc4
Pairing/Character: Logan/Veronica, Duncan, ensemble
Word Count: 1700+
Rating: PG-13; angst and mature themes
Summary: AU from the Pilot. The immediate fallout from Shelley’s party.
Spoilers: Familiarity with Season 1 required.
Disclaimer: Rob Thomas owns all.
A/N: What if Logan and Veronica were a couple all through Season 1, but had to hide it from everyone?
I had planned on only doing one more chapter in the timeframe of the pilot, but this flashback is such a turning point that it really needed to be its own chapter. Also, Mercedes (Merc4, without whom this fic would not exist and who is also a really good beta) says that I have to warn everyone that this installment is “frickin’ depressing” and “beyond angsty”. So, um, okay, then--you’re warned! :-p
Xposted to veronicamarsfic, veronicalogan and fic_from_mars. Feedback is truly appreciated!
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4
Veronica paced her room as she waited for Logan’s call. As soon as he hung up with Celeste, he had gotten dressed, kissed Veronica goodbye and left for the hospital, promising as he did so that he would let her know what was going on as soon as possible. That had been three hours ago. While she paced, Veronica’s mind reviewed the momentous events of the previous evening. She had set out to prove to the 09ers that they hadn’t beaten her and had ended up proving to herself that she could take control of her life and make her own decisions.
Most people’s “first time” was a landmark event, but it had been so much more than that for Veronica. She had made a choice and followed through. For the first time that she could remember, she hadn’t been acted upon-she had acted. Of course, it hadn’t hurt that the experience had been fantastic. Veronica smiled to herself as she remembered Logan’s kiss goodbye that morning. That kiss, as much as anything else, had made her feel special, loved-cared for.
Her cell phone rang and Veronica flipped it open before the first musical trill had finished.
“What happened?!”
She heard the tension in Logan’s voice immediately. It also sounded like he was trying to keep his voice down.
“Duncan tried to slit his wrists.”
“Are you serious?”
Logan sighed. “Yes. I’m in front of the hospital. You can’t use cell phones inside.” The rest of his words came out in a rush, as though if they stayed inside they would poison him. “Celeste went in to check on him this morning and he was in the bathroom with the hot water running. He had cut one wrist and was working on the other one.” Veronica gasped. “The first cut wasn’t as deep as it…could have been, I guess, but it was bad enough. They called the ambulance and here we are.” Logan sighed. “He’s going to be fine, but Jake and Celeste are talking about putting him in a private hospital for awhile. A few weeks or something-I don’t know.”
Logan finally paused and Veronica took the opportunity to comment. “Do they have any idea what brought this on? I thought he was doing better.”
Silence answered her question.
“Logan?” No response. “What is it?” What else was going on here? “Logan?” Her voice became increasingly urgent.
When he finally spoke, Logan’s voice was even more tense than it had been when she first answered the phone. “When I got here, I asked Duncan what was wrong. You know, why did he do this?” His voice halted.
“And?” she urged anxiously.
He sighed. “He heard us last night.”
“He what?” Surely she hadn’t heard correctly.
“He heard us. Everyone did.”
“Everyone heard what?” He couldn’t mean what she thought he meant. Not really.
“Everyone heard us last night. In the bedroom.”
“Everyone heard us…having sex.” It wasn’t a question.
“Yeah.” There was a heavy pause. “Before I called you, I called Dick to find out what happened.” Another break. “Madison saw you go into the bedroom. When she passed by later, she…heard us…and she called everyone…to come listen at the door.”
Veronica tried to sit down, but she missed her bed and hit the floor instead. She didn’t even notice.
“Veronica?” It was her turn to go silent. “Veronica, please.” No answer. “Are you okay? Are you still there?”
“I’m here.” Her voice was empty.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I should have known.”
“How?” Veronica’s voice again showed signs of life. “This is not your fault. Do you hear me? It’s their fault. Wait a minute.” Something occurred to her. “What about you? What are they saying about you?”
“They don’t know.” He hesitated. “That it was me.”
Veronica took a sharp intake of breath. “Madison saw me go in, but she didn’t see who came in after me.”
“Yeah.” Logan sounded much older than his years. “And Cassidy thought I left with some girl, so everyone thought I was gone.”
“Who do they think it was?” she asked.
“They don’t know, and no one’s claiming responsibility.” She heard him take a deep breath as if to steady himself. “It gets worse.”
A jolt of genuine hatred ran down Veronica’s spine.
“Just say it.”
“They’re saying there was more than one guy.”
“What?” Veronica bit the word out.
“Madison’s telling everyone that no one will admit it was them because…well, she’s just saying that no one will admit it was them.” Logan’s voice trailed off.
“She’s saying that no one wants to admit that they went slumming.” She filled in the blanks.
Logan’s silence was answer enough.
“Riiiiiight.” She pondered this. “Okay, I have a question. What does this have to do with Duncan? I mean, he broke up with me. I know that he broke up with me because I was there.” The anger that was building in Veronica needed an outlet and it suddenly surged towards her ex-boyfriend. Whether this was where it belonged or not was irrelevant. The anger was there and Duncan was convenient. “Why does he get to care who I sleep with or how many people are there? Seriously, Logan. Why would my sex life affect Duncan like that?”
“Because he still loves you,” her boyfriend said quietly.
Veronica was momentarily taken aback. “He what? No. He. Broke up. With me.” She punctuated her words. “He cannot still be in love with me.”
“I got the idea that Celeste made him break up with you,” said Logan as though every word were being dragged out of him. “They didn’t get into why.”
“Well, that’s just too bad, isn’t it?” shot back Veronica. This revelation simply fanned the flames of her anger. “I loved Duncan. I did. But whatever his reason for breaking up with me, he did, and I moved on. I went and fell in love with someone else, so he’s just screwed, isn’t he? I mean, it’s not like I’m going to get back together with him. This is so stupid. I can’t believe this is my life.” Her anger momentarily spent, Veronica took a breath and realized that Logan wasn’t responding. “Logan?”
“You don’t want to get back together with him?”
“What? No. Why would-“ she cut herself off. “Logan, did you think that when I found out about Duncan that I would want to get back together with him?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
“Well, you’re an idiot.” Veronica made a noise of exasperation. “I mean that. You are an idiot. Do you think that I slept with you because Duncan wasn’t available? Do you?” This was not a rhetorical question.
“No?”
“Do you love me?”
The question caught Logan by surprise, but it only took him a heartbeat to recover.
“Yes.”
“Then you’re just going to have to trust that I love you, too. Moron.”
Logan laughed, the tension melting out of his voice. “I can’t believe that you told me you loved me and called me a moron in the same breath.”
“I can’t believe you thought I would stop loving you because Duncan turned out to be a suicidal idiot who broke up with me because his mother told him to.”
“The women I love haven’t exactly been incredibly reliable.” Logan’s voice was so vulnerable that Veronica’s heart hurt for him and tears sprang to her eyes. She took a steadying breath. There was something that he obviously needed to know.
“Alright, Logan, I’m going to say this and I want you to pay close attention. Are you paying attention?”
“Close attention.” Logan was many things-stupid wasn’t one of them.
“Good. One of the few serious conversations I ever had with Lilly was about losing my virginity and it scared the hell out of me. Last night was nothing like what she described. The only thing she got right was that it hurt and even that didn’t seem like nearly as big of a deal as she made it out to be. Last night was perfect and that was because of you-you made my first time better than anyone’s ever has a right to be. And I don’t love you because it was perfect; it was perfect because I love you-and because you love me. And that’s the end of it. Got it?”
“Got it.” Logan’s voice sounded strange, choked.
“Good.” There was another silence as they listened to each other breathe. Veronica finally broke it.
“Now, about Duncan.”
“Yeah.”
“So he really tried to kill himself because he heard me having sex.” She wasn’t angry anymore-she was just tired.
“Yeah.” As was he.
“He’s definitely not ready to hear that it was you, then.”
“Not even close.”
They sat in silence as they both thought about the ramifications of Duncan’s precarious state of mind.
“I don’t want to be responsible for my best friend killing himself. I can’t be.”
“Me neither,” she affirmed.
Logan’s breath hitched. “The things they’re saying about last night. They’re bad.”
Veronica knew what Logan was trying to say. Most of the 09ers at Neptune had listened as Veronica had lost her virginity-purportedly to multiple people-and were undoubtedly sharing the details with the rest of the known universe at that very moment. Veronica’s reputation would be in shambles-unless Logan came forward, quite possibly driving Duncan to suicide in the process. It was a simple choice really.
“I’m prepared to live with that,” she said firmly.
Sitting on a bench in front of Neptune Memorial Hospital, Logan closed his eyes. How could he purposefully allow someone he loved so much to be hurt so badly?
How could he not?
“I’m going to let you get back to Duncan,” said his girlfriend.
“Right.” He looked at his watch. The Kanes were going to think he’d taken up smoking or something. “I love you, Veronica. I need you to hear me say that. I’m in love with you.”
“I love you, too, Logan.”
When they hung up, Logan went back up to Duncan’s room, wondering why the universe had suddenly decided to allow such a perfect woman into his life.
Veronica’s phone slid out of her hand. She grabbed the nearest figurine, a small clown holding three balloons that was perched on her nightstand, and threw it against her bedroom wall, shattering it into a million pieces.
To be continued.
Author: jacedesbff supported by Merc4
Pairing/Character: Logan/Veronica, Duncan, ensemble
Word Count: 1700+
Rating: PG-13; angst and mature themes
Summary: AU from the Pilot. The immediate fallout from Shelley’s party.
Spoilers: Familiarity with Season 1 required.
Disclaimer: Rob Thomas owns all.
A/N: What if Logan and Veronica were a couple all through Season 1, but had to hide it from everyone?
I had planned on only doing one more chapter in the timeframe of the pilot, but this flashback is such a turning point that it really needed to be its own chapter. Also, Mercedes (Merc4, without whom this fic would not exist and who is also a really good beta) says that I have to warn everyone that this installment is “frickin’ depressing” and “beyond angsty”. So, um, okay, then--you’re warned! :-p
Xposted to veronicamarsfic, veronicalogan and fic_from_mars. Feedback is truly appreciated!
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4
Veronica paced her room as she waited for Logan’s call. As soon as he hung up with Celeste, he had gotten dressed, kissed Veronica goodbye and left for the hospital, promising as he did so that he would let her know what was going on as soon as possible. That had been three hours ago. While she paced, Veronica’s mind reviewed the momentous events of the previous evening. She had set out to prove to the 09ers that they hadn’t beaten her and had ended up proving to herself that she could take control of her life and make her own decisions.
Most people’s “first time” was a landmark event, but it had been so much more than that for Veronica. She had made a choice and followed through. For the first time that she could remember, she hadn’t been acted upon-she had acted. Of course, it hadn’t hurt that the experience had been fantastic. Veronica smiled to herself as she remembered Logan’s kiss goodbye that morning. That kiss, as much as anything else, had made her feel special, loved-cared for.
Her cell phone rang and Veronica flipped it open before the first musical trill had finished.
“What happened?!”
She heard the tension in Logan’s voice immediately. It also sounded like he was trying to keep his voice down.
“Duncan tried to slit his wrists.”
“Are you serious?”
Logan sighed. “Yes. I’m in front of the hospital. You can’t use cell phones inside.” The rest of his words came out in a rush, as though if they stayed inside they would poison him. “Celeste went in to check on him this morning and he was in the bathroom with the hot water running. He had cut one wrist and was working on the other one.” Veronica gasped. “The first cut wasn’t as deep as it…could have been, I guess, but it was bad enough. They called the ambulance and here we are.” Logan sighed. “He’s going to be fine, but Jake and Celeste are talking about putting him in a private hospital for awhile. A few weeks or something-I don’t know.”
Logan finally paused and Veronica took the opportunity to comment. “Do they have any idea what brought this on? I thought he was doing better.”
Silence answered her question.
“Logan?” No response. “What is it?” What else was going on here? “Logan?” Her voice became increasingly urgent.
When he finally spoke, Logan’s voice was even more tense than it had been when she first answered the phone. “When I got here, I asked Duncan what was wrong. You know, why did he do this?” His voice halted.
“And?” she urged anxiously.
He sighed. “He heard us last night.”
“He what?” Surely she hadn’t heard correctly.
“He heard us. Everyone did.”
“Everyone heard what?” He couldn’t mean what she thought he meant. Not really.
“Everyone heard us last night. In the bedroom.”
“Everyone heard us…having sex.” It wasn’t a question.
“Yeah.” There was a heavy pause. “Before I called you, I called Dick to find out what happened.” Another break. “Madison saw you go into the bedroom. When she passed by later, she…heard us…and she called everyone…to come listen at the door.”
Veronica tried to sit down, but she missed her bed and hit the floor instead. She didn’t even notice.
“Veronica?” It was her turn to go silent. “Veronica, please.” No answer. “Are you okay? Are you still there?”
“I’m here.” Her voice was empty.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I should have known.”
“How?” Veronica’s voice again showed signs of life. “This is not your fault. Do you hear me? It’s their fault. Wait a minute.” Something occurred to her. “What about you? What are they saying about you?”
“They don’t know.” He hesitated. “That it was me.”
Veronica took a sharp intake of breath. “Madison saw me go in, but she didn’t see who came in after me.”
“Yeah.” Logan sounded much older than his years. “And Cassidy thought I left with some girl, so everyone thought I was gone.”
“Who do they think it was?” she asked.
“They don’t know, and no one’s claiming responsibility.” She heard him take a deep breath as if to steady himself. “It gets worse.”
A jolt of genuine hatred ran down Veronica’s spine.
“Just say it.”
“They’re saying there was more than one guy.”
“What?” Veronica bit the word out.
“Madison’s telling everyone that no one will admit it was them because…well, she’s just saying that no one will admit it was them.” Logan’s voice trailed off.
“She’s saying that no one wants to admit that they went slumming.” She filled in the blanks.
Logan’s silence was answer enough.
“Riiiiiight.” She pondered this. “Okay, I have a question. What does this have to do with Duncan? I mean, he broke up with me. I know that he broke up with me because I was there.” The anger that was building in Veronica needed an outlet and it suddenly surged towards her ex-boyfriend. Whether this was where it belonged or not was irrelevant. The anger was there and Duncan was convenient. “Why does he get to care who I sleep with or how many people are there? Seriously, Logan. Why would my sex life affect Duncan like that?”
“Because he still loves you,” her boyfriend said quietly.
Veronica was momentarily taken aback. “He what? No. He. Broke up. With me.” She punctuated her words. “He cannot still be in love with me.”
“I got the idea that Celeste made him break up with you,” said Logan as though every word were being dragged out of him. “They didn’t get into why.”
“Well, that’s just too bad, isn’t it?” shot back Veronica. This revelation simply fanned the flames of her anger. “I loved Duncan. I did. But whatever his reason for breaking up with me, he did, and I moved on. I went and fell in love with someone else, so he’s just screwed, isn’t he? I mean, it’s not like I’m going to get back together with him. This is so stupid. I can’t believe this is my life.” Her anger momentarily spent, Veronica took a breath and realized that Logan wasn’t responding. “Logan?”
“You don’t want to get back together with him?”
“What? No. Why would-“ she cut herself off. “Logan, did you think that when I found out about Duncan that I would want to get back together with him?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
“Well, you’re an idiot.” Veronica made a noise of exasperation. “I mean that. You are an idiot. Do you think that I slept with you because Duncan wasn’t available? Do you?” This was not a rhetorical question.
“No?”
“Do you love me?”
The question caught Logan by surprise, but it only took him a heartbeat to recover.
“Yes.”
“Then you’re just going to have to trust that I love you, too. Moron.”
Logan laughed, the tension melting out of his voice. “I can’t believe that you told me you loved me and called me a moron in the same breath.”
“I can’t believe you thought I would stop loving you because Duncan turned out to be a suicidal idiot who broke up with me because his mother told him to.”
“The women I love haven’t exactly been incredibly reliable.” Logan’s voice was so vulnerable that Veronica’s heart hurt for him and tears sprang to her eyes. She took a steadying breath. There was something that he obviously needed to know.
“Alright, Logan, I’m going to say this and I want you to pay close attention. Are you paying attention?”
“Close attention.” Logan was many things-stupid wasn’t one of them.
“Good. One of the few serious conversations I ever had with Lilly was about losing my virginity and it scared the hell out of me. Last night was nothing like what she described. The only thing she got right was that it hurt and even that didn’t seem like nearly as big of a deal as she made it out to be. Last night was perfect and that was because of you-you made my first time better than anyone’s ever has a right to be. And I don’t love you because it was perfect; it was perfect because I love you-and because you love me. And that’s the end of it. Got it?”
“Got it.” Logan’s voice sounded strange, choked.
“Good.” There was another silence as they listened to each other breathe. Veronica finally broke it.
“Now, about Duncan.”
“Yeah.”
“So he really tried to kill himself because he heard me having sex.” She wasn’t angry anymore-she was just tired.
“Yeah.” As was he.
“He’s definitely not ready to hear that it was you, then.”
“Not even close.”
They sat in silence as they both thought about the ramifications of Duncan’s precarious state of mind.
“I don’t want to be responsible for my best friend killing himself. I can’t be.”
“Me neither,” she affirmed.
Logan’s breath hitched. “The things they’re saying about last night. They’re bad.”
Veronica knew what Logan was trying to say. Most of the 09ers at Neptune had listened as Veronica had lost her virginity-purportedly to multiple people-and were undoubtedly sharing the details with the rest of the known universe at that very moment. Veronica’s reputation would be in shambles-unless Logan came forward, quite possibly driving Duncan to suicide in the process. It was a simple choice really.
“I’m prepared to live with that,” she said firmly.
Sitting on a bench in front of Neptune Memorial Hospital, Logan closed his eyes. How could he purposefully allow someone he loved so much to be hurt so badly?
How could he not?
“I’m going to let you get back to Duncan,” said his girlfriend.
“Right.” He looked at his watch. The Kanes were going to think he’d taken up smoking or something. “I love you, Veronica. I need you to hear me say that. I’m in love with you.”
“I love you, too, Logan.”
When they hung up, Logan went back up to Duncan’s room, wondering why the universe had suddenly decided to allow such a perfect woman into his life.
Veronica’s phone slid out of her hand. She grabbed the nearest figurine, a small clown holding three balloons that was perched on her nightstand, and threw it against her bedroom wall, shattering it into a million pieces.
To be continued.