Solutions and answers
P: "So let me see if I got this straight. Your solution to my problem of 'How do I do the lets be friends talk with my PM' is for me to bring Josh and two bottles of alcohol over to her place, encourage Josh and her to have sex, and I have sex with her 18 year old sister?!"
ME: "Yup. You resisted all my other solutions that revolved around the notion that 'you need to loosen up and let her touch your penis'."
ME: (pauses) "And lets be honest here ... she needs sex. You need sex. Josh needs sex. I merely constructed a win-win-win situation so you would be more amenable to the situation. Her sister is still a wildcard. But I figure, there is a good probability that it will be a win situation for her as well."
ME: (another pause) "Furthermore, when you have sex with her 18 year old sister, you completely negate any weirdness at work. No one will scold you for this ... in fact, on the contrary ... you will be a man amongst wannabe men!"
P:"There is something wrong with you." (laughs and shakes head)
ME:"Ive been tellin you for years that I am an Evil Genius. I want a full report of the results in 2 weeks, Number Two."
...
ME:"Freakin Sex!"
P: (playfully) "What Kind of freakin sex?"
ME:"Peg-legged clown pirate with an dildo on his eye-patch."
P:(laughs) "What the fuck?!"
ME:"I believe the statement you were looking for was 'Thats a cock-eyed response'."
P: "There is something wrong with you."
ME: "Yup. You resisted all my other solutions that revolved around the notion that 'you need to loosen up and let her touch your penis'."
ME: (pauses) "And lets be honest here ... she needs sex. You need sex. Josh needs sex. I merely constructed a win-win-win situation so you would be more amenable to the situation. Her sister is still a wildcard. But I figure, there is a good probability that it will be a win situation for her as well."
ME: (another pause) "Furthermore, when you have sex with her 18 year old sister, you completely negate any weirdness at work. No one will scold you for this ... in fact, on the contrary ... you will be a man amongst wannabe men!"
P:"There is something wrong with you." (laughs and shakes head)
ME:"Ive been tellin you for years that I am an Evil Genius. I want a full report of the results in 2 weeks, Number Two."
...
ME:"Freakin Sex!"
P: (playfully) "What Kind of freakin sex?"
ME:"Peg-legged clown pirate with an dildo on his eye-patch."
P:(laughs) "What the fuck?!"
ME:"I believe the statement you were looking for was 'Thats a cock-eyed response'."
P: "There is something wrong with you."