depressed as hell
I asked Azam how his heart was since Diane has left, and he replied by asking me how my heart was since I've left Derek, and I said that it hurt a lot. Azam then said to me "Well take that, and multiply it by every star in the sky, and that's how my heart is feeling."
I never thought that I would really feel like this, but I miss Derek more than anything and I really wish that I could see him right now because I think that right now I'm at what Azam is feeling and that I just didn't know how to explain it properly.. I guess I could take what he's feeling, and multiply it by every grain of sand on every beach in this world.. whatever it is that I feel, you get my point... but anyway I have a few songs that I have been listening to, and/or just reading the lyrics, and they are at the top of the "songs to make me depressed" list... Of course all of these songs just make me think of Derek.. yeah I'm a big loser, but you have no idea what I'm feeling right now... even though I tried really hard to explain it.
"Seasons" by Good Charlotte
Summer air reminds me of all the feelings of your love,
And what it was like when we were together,
Walking all along the beach, you were never far from my reach,
And you held me through the stormy weather,
[Chorus:]
And I want to fall in love tonight,
And I remember when you said "everything's gonna be alright"
Laying in the summer grass, you told me not to talk so fast,
As I told you how I feel,
You made me feel right at home,
You told me I was not alone and you knew just how I feel,
I know we talked about it, I just can't get around it,
I just want one more night with you,
[Chorus]
October air reminds me of all the seasons of your love,
And what it was like when we were together
The smell of fall is everywhere and though it seems,
I just don't care, 'cause now you've gone away
"Wondering" by Good Charlotte
If you want me to wait
I would wait for you
If you tell me to stay
I would stay right through
If you don't wanna say
Anything at all
I'm happy wondering
Go!
Yeah, yeah
Since I was a young man
I never was a fun man
I never had a plan and no security
Then ever since i met you
I never could forget you
I only wanna get you right here next to me
Cause everybody (a-whoa-oh-oh)
Needs someone that they can trust and
You're somebody (a-whoa-oh-oh)
That I found just in time
If you want me to wait
I would wait for you
If you tell me to stay
I would stay right through
If you don't wanna say
Anything at all
I'm happy wondering
Now my life is changing
It's always rearranging
It's always getting stranger than I thought it ever could
Ever since I found you
I wanna be around you
I wanna get down to the point that I need you
Cause everybody (a-whoa-oh-oh)
Needs someone that they can trust and
You're somebody (a-whoa-oh-oh)
That I found just in time
If you want me to wait
I would wait for you
If you tell me to stay
I would stay right through
If you don't wanna say
Anything at all
I'm happy wondering
Go!
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Don't tell me
The bad news
Don't tell me anything at all
Just tell me
That you need me
And stay right here with me
If you want me to wait
I would wait for you
If you tell me to stay
I would stay right through
If you don't wanna say
Anything at all
I'm happy wondering
If you want me to wait
I would wait for you
If you tell me to stay
I would stay right through
If you don't wanna say
Anything at all
I'm happy wondering
"Can't Go On" by Good Charlotte
How can it be easy to forget you when I think about you all the time
I never know how I miss you when I never had you, well nevermind
I move on, but I can't go on without you
Said I try, don't know why, what to do without you
Can't move on, can't move on
It'd be cool if we never met, if we never locked eyes
Then I'd feel so happy, not knowing you're so fine
I move on, but I can't go on without you
Said I try, don't know why, what to do without you
Can't move on, can't move on
I get so nuts when I'm around you there's nothing I can say
I wish you'd get outta my head, I think about you every day
I move on, but I can't go on without you
Said I try, don't know why, what to do without you
Can't move on, can't move on without...
ROCK!
I move on, but I can't go on without you
Said I try, don't know why, what to do without you
Can't move on, can't move on, can't move on, without you
"As Lovers Go" by Dashboard Confessional
she said "i've gotta be honest,
you're wasteing your time if you're fishing round here."
and i said "you must be mistaken,
cause i'm not fooling...this feeling is real"
she said...she said "you gotta be crazy,
What do you take me for? Some kind of easy mark?
"No, you've got wits, you've got looks,
you've got passion, but I swear that you've got me all wrong."
all wrong.
all wrong.
but you got me...
i'll be true, i'll be useful...
i'll be cavalier...i'll be yours my dear.
and i'll belong to you...
if you'll just let me through.
this is easy as lovers go,
so don't complicate it by hesitating.
and this is wonderful as loving goes,
this is tailor-made, whats the sense in waiting?
and i said "i've gotta be honest
i've been waiting for you all my life."
for so long i thought i was asylum bound,
but just seeing you makes me think twice.
and being with you here makes me sane,
i fear i'll go crazy if you leave my side.
you've got wits...you've got looks,
you've got passion but are you brave enough to leave with me tonight?
tonight.
tonight.
but you've got me...
i'll be true, i'll be useful...
i'll be cavalier...i'll be yours my dear.
and i'll belong to you...
if you'll just let me through.
this is easy as lovers go,
so don't complicate it by hesitating.
and this is wonderful as loving goes,
this is tailor-made, whats the sense in waiting?
this is easy as lovers go,
so don't complicate it by hesitating.
and this is wonderful as loving goes,
this is tailor-made, whats the sense in waiting?
"The Best Deceptions" by Dashboard Confessional
I heard about your trip.
I heard about your souvenirs.
I heard about the cool breeze, in the cool nights,
and the cool guys that you spent them with.
Well I guess I should have heard of them from you.
I guess I should have heard of them from you.
Don't you see, don't you see,
that the charade is over?
And all the "Best Deceptions" and "Clever Cover Story" awards go to you.
So kiss me hard
'cause this will be the last time that I let you.
You will be back someday
and this awkward kiss that tells of other people's lips will be of service
to keeping you away.
I heard about your regrets.
I heard that you were feeling sorry.
I heard from someone that you wish you could set things right between us.
Well I guess I should have heard of them from you.
I guess I should have heard of them from you.
I'm waiting for blood to flow to my fingers,
I'll be all right when my hands get warm.Ignoring the phone,
I'd rather say nothing. I'd rather you'd never heard my voice.
too late to be graciousand you do not warrant long good-byes.
You're calling too late
and the song that makes me cry the most...
"I Miss You" by Incubus
To see you when I wake up
Is a gift I didn't think could be real
To know that you feel the same as I do
Is a three-fold utopian dream
You do something to me that I can't explain
So would I be out of line if I said
I miss you?
I see your picture
I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine
You have only been gone ten days
But already I'm wasting away
I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon
But I need you to know that I care
And I miss you
later days.....
I never thought that I would really feel like this, but I miss Derek more than anything and I really wish that I could see him right now because I think that right now I'm at what Azam is feeling and that I just didn't know how to explain it properly.. I guess I could take what he's feeling, and multiply it by every grain of sand on every beach in this world.. whatever it is that I feel, you get my point... but anyway I have a few songs that I have been listening to, and/or just reading the lyrics, and they are at the top of the "songs to make me depressed" list... Of course all of these songs just make me think of Derek.. yeah I'm a big loser, but you have no idea what I'm feeling right now... even though I tried really hard to explain it.
"Seasons" by Good Charlotte
Summer air reminds me of all the feelings of your love,
And what it was like when we were together,
Walking all along the beach, you were never far from my reach,
And you held me through the stormy weather,
[Chorus:]
And I want to fall in love tonight,
And I remember when you said "everything's gonna be alright"
Laying in the summer grass, you told me not to talk so fast,
As I told you how I feel,
You made me feel right at home,
You told me I was not alone and you knew just how I feel,
I know we talked about it, I just can't get around it,
I just want one more night with you,
[Chorus]
October air reminds me of all the seasons of your love,
And what it was like when we were together
The smell of fall is everywhere and though it seems,
I just don't care, 'cause now you've gone away
"Wondering" by Good Charlotte
If you want me to wait
I would wait for you
If you tell me to stay
I would stay right through
If you don't wanna say
Anything at all
I'm happy wondering
Go!
Yeah, yeah
Since I was a young man
I never was a fun man
I never had a plan and no security
Then ever since i met you
I never could forget you
I only wanna get you right here next to me
Cause everybody (a-whoa-oh-oh)
Needs someone that they can trust and
You're somebody (a-whoa-oh-oh)
That I found just in time
If you want me to wait
I would wait for you
If you tell me to stay
I would stay right through
If you don't wanna say
Anything at all
I'm happy wondering
Now my life is changing
It's always rearranging
It's always getting stranger than I thought it ever could
Ever since I found you
I wanna be around you
I wanna get down to the point that I need you
Cause everybody (a-whoa-oh-oh)
Needs someone that they can trust and
You're somebody (a-whoa-oh-oh)
That I found just in time
If you want me to wait
I would wait for you
If you tell me to stay
I would stay right through
If you don't wanna say
Anything at all
I'm happy wondering
Go!
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Don't tell me
The bad news
Don't tell me anything at all
Just tell me
That you need me
And stay right here with me
If you want me to wait
I would wait for you
If you tell me to stay
I would stay right through
If you don't wanna say
Anything at all
I'm happy wondering
If you want me to wait
I would wait for you
If you tell me to stay
I would stay right through
If you don't wanna say
Anything at all
I'm happy wondering
"Can't Go On" by Good Charlotte
How can it be easy to forget you when I think about you all the time
I never know how I miss you when I never had you, well nevermind
I move on, but I can't go on without you
Said I try, don't know why, what to do without you
Can't move on, can't move on
It'd be cool if we never met, if we never locked eyes
Then I'd feel so happy, not knowing you're so fine
I move on, but I can't go on without you
Said I try, don't know why, what to do without you
Can't move on, can't move on
I get so nuts when I'm around you there's nothing I can say
I wish you'd get outta my head, I think about you every day
I move on, but I can't go on without you
Said I try, don't know why, what to do without you
Can't move on, can't move on without...
ROCK!
I move on, but I can't go on without you
Said I try, don't know why, what to do without you
Can't move on, can't move on, can't move on, without you
"As Lovers Go" by Dashboard Confessional
she said "i've gotta be honest,
you're wasteing your time if you're fishing round here."
and i said "you must be mistaken,
cause i'm not fooling...this feeling is real"
she said...she said "you gotta be crazy,
What do you take me for? Some kind of easy mark?
"No, you've got wits, you've got looks,
you've got passion, but I swear that you've got me all wrong."
all wrong.
all wrong.
but you got me...
i'll be true, i'll be useful...
i'll be cavalier...i'll be yours my dear.
and i'll belong to you...
if you'll just let me through.
this is easy as lovers go,
so don't complicate it by hesitating.
and this is wonderful as loving goes,
this is tailor-made, whats the sense in waiting?
and i said "i've gotta be honest
i've been waiting for you all my life."
for so long i thought i was asylum bound,
but just seeing you makes me think twice.
and being with you here makes me sane,
i fear i'll go crazy if you leave my side.
you've got wits...you've got looks,
you've got passion but are you brave enough to leave with me tonight?
tonight.
tonight.
but you've got me...
i'll be true, i'll be useful...
i'll be cavalier...i'll be yours my dear.
and i'll belong to you...
if you'll just let me through.
this is easy as lovers go,
so don't complicate it by hesitating.
and this is wonderful as loving goes,
this is tailor-made, whats the sense in waiting?
this is easy as lovers go,
so don't complicate it by hesitating.
and this is wonderful as loving goes,
this is tailor-made, whats the sense in waiting?
"The Best Deceptions" by Dashboard Confessional
I heard about your trip.
I heard about your souvenirs.
I heard about the cool breeze, in the cool nights,
and the cool guys that you spent them with.
Well I guess I should have heard of them from you.
I guess I should have heard of them from you.
Don't you see, don't you see,
that the charade is over?
And all the "Best Deceptions" and "Clever Cover Story" awards go to you.
So kiss me hard
'cause this will be the last time that I let you.
You will be back someday
and this awkward kiss that tells of other people's lips will be of service
to keeping you away.
I heard about your regrets.
I heard that you were feeling sorry.
I heard from someone that you wish you could set things right between us.
Well I guess I should have heard of them from you.
I guess I should have heard of them from you.
I'm waiting for blood to flow to my fingers,
I'll be all right when my hands get warm.Ignoring the phone,
I'd rather say nothing. I'd rather you'd never heard my voice.
too late to be graciousand you do not warrant long good-byes.
You're calling too late
and the song that makes me cry the most...
"I Miss You" by Incubus
To see you when I wake up
Is a gift I didn't think could be real
To know that you feel the same as I do
Is a three-fold utopian dream
You do something to me that I can't explain
So would I be out of line if I said
I miss you?
I see your picture
I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine
You have only been gone ten days
But already I'm wasting away
I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon
But I need you to know that I care
And I miss you
later days.....