(no subject)
I'd rather be reading than writing, but here I am anyway...
I don't know why I'm so stuck on this livejournal. I can't seem to let go. I even printed out every entry from 2000 at one point, just in case, for whatever reason, the internet lost my journal. I had a teenopendiary that got lost once and it devestated me. That would be like burning one of my real journals. I couldn't imagine! I don't know how some people do it. I know its symbolic of moving on past old and into the new and forgetting the past, and that is all well and good.. But my memory is so faded, so distorted. Without journals and whatever else recorded stuff I'd forget half my life, and I dont want to. It's so fascinating to me to go back to my journals from middle school and see the things I was going through, see the things that were so heavy on me, and what I got from it all, the big picture later and how much I learned from all those little experiences.
So college is cool. Little things are creeping up under my skin that have me a bit on edge... Air Force ROTC medical complications, working out enough (for the AF and for Gym class), and being involved in a bible study and/or ministry while still having room for class and stuff. I'm honestly nervous of being as tired as I was all day today, everyday. Granted, I slept at 1:30 am last night. But, I slept in all 4 of my classes today! Every single one of them consisted of nodding off. I was in the front row in two, too. It was bad. And I was trying SO hard, why, why can't I be like most people and stay awake when I want to? Most people make the decision to fall asleep in class. Not me, I am fighting so hard when my eyes are suddenly blackened and something startling jerks me awake. Anyway, I guess coffee in the morning may need to become a habit.
So, little things, but more than a few. Father take the burdens, help me be disciplined! I really should sleep by 12 or 12:30 at the latest for my 8 am days...
Honestly, completely and totally sincerely, all I want is Jesus... I so wish I had the time to be digging out the Word alll the time. I have that craving hard core lately, and I hate to not have the time to be constantly filling it. I love chapel everyday, mainly.. the worship songs everyday.. It just sets my eyes on the kingdom instead of earth and myself, its such a good way to begin the day (except for my 2 classes before chapel.....) Thats something I really love about here. Intimacy, more and more! Its all in the consistancy.
I don't know why I'm so stuck on this livejournal. I can't seem to let go. I even printed out every entry from 2000 at one point, just in case, for whatever reason, the internet lost my journal. I had a teenopendiary that got lost once and it devestated me. That would be like burning one of my real journals. I couldn't imagine! I don't know how some people do it. I know its symbolic of moving on past old and into the new and forgetting the past, and that is all well and good.. But my memory is so faded, so distorted. Without journals and whatever else recorded stuff I'd forget half my life, and I dont want to. It's so fascinating to me to go back to my journals from middle school and see the things I was going through, see the things that were so heavy on me, and what I got from it all, the big picture later and how much I learned from all those little experiences.
So college is cool. Little things are creeping up under my skin that have me a bit on edge... Air Force ROTC medical complications, working out enough (for the AF and for Gym class), and being involved in a bible study and/or ministry while still having room for class and stuff. I'm honestly nervous of being as tired as I was all day today, everyday. Granted, I slept at 1:30 am last night. But, I slept in all 4 of my classes today! Every single one of them consisted of nodding off. I was in the front row in two, too. It was bad. And I was trying SO hard, why, why can't I be like most people and stay awake when I want to? Most people make the decision to fall asleep in class. Not me, I am fighting so hard when my eyes are suddenly blackened and something startling jerks me awake. Anyway, I guess coffee in the morning may need to become a habit.
So, little things, but more than a few. Father take the burdens, help me be disciplined! I really should sleep by 12 or 12:30 at the latest for my 8 am days...
Honestly, completely and totally sincerely, all I want is Jesus... I so wish I had the time to be digging out the Word alll the time. I have that craving hard core lately, and I hate to not have the time to be constantly filling it. I love chapel everyday, mainly.. the worship songs everyday.. It just sets my eyes on the kingdom instead of earth and myself, its such a good way to begin the day (except for my 2 classes before chapel.....) Thats something I really love about here. Intimacy, more and more! Its all in the consistancy.