Unsent letter
Not an actual letter by any means. Just...one of those...things.
I honestly don't know if you remember me. I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't...i just happen to have a mind for that sort of thing. Memories. Details. I think of you now and then, when certain topics come up...like if i'm listening to Spamalot, or even if someone does something as making a 'thumbs down' gesture.
You and your 'thumbs down'. I really shouldn't have been bothered by a ten year old i didn't even know doing that gesture- but it was a sign that i wasn't in your 'good books', or you were just being cheeky.
You were one of the people to have such an impact on my life, you know. I don't know when it was that i stopped sitting on the bus with people my age, and gravitating to sit up front with you.
When your 'thumbs down,' accompanied by an almost constant frown that made me wonder what your deal was. But then it changed..and i don't know when, or why. Maybe it was the day i didn't want to leave you on the bus alone because your matron wasn't there that day...i don't know.
But after that, your frowns became brilliant, mega-watt grins. Signs became as common as speech (Except when we were conspiring against the bus driver). When you pressed one of my headphones to your ear, and we choreographed our legs to dance to Always Look On The Bright Side of Life, until the driver snapped at you to get back to your seat.
The good days like that, signing, chatting, laughing, doing math homework...drawing.
The bad days, when the girls on the bus would mock you from the back seat. You behaved beyond your years, then. You sat still, back straight, staring straight ahead. You knew i was watching you, and occasionally your shoulders would drop, and you'd sign to me.
'those girls think i can't hear them.'
and i'd nod, and tap my fingers to my forehead. 'i know.'
Then the one day you'd had enough pretending, turned around, and snapped, 'shut UP! That's not nice..i can hear you!'
You got in trouble, of course. even when it wasn't your fault.
In those days, you were the brightest part of my day. The beginning, and the end.
I'd gotten you a birthday present...only to come on the bus one day and you weren't there. You'd moved on to mainstream, and while i was incredibly proud, i'd miss you. I hope you got your gift.
And i do miss you, and i'm sure you're doing well. Probably breaking a few hearts along the way by now.
But either way, i think of you alot. You helped me grow, for all your 10-11 years. Reminded me that some things in life were bad, but to always look on the bright side of life.
Thumbs up to you, kid.
-Lauren