Dearest Torchwood Magazine
Whatever crack you were smoking when you compiled the latest issue...
Please share.
First off, i've never been so eager to see the continuation of a comic. It's almost..right out of a fanfic.
You've got Ianto buying gourmet coffee, Rhys calling him up to say he needs to talk to Ianto because something happens in the future that they want to prevent. It's also shown in the comic that this takes place after COE, since they have Johnny, Rhiannon, and the kids, and Rhiannon being all 'HE'S DEAD.'
And how does good ole Rhys Williams know this?
"Hey there, Eye Candy."
fakmfnsjanfs. Comic strip. Brought back. CAPTAIN JOHN HART. Who actually wants to help Ianto out! I've never been so eager for more. seriously.
Now, for the crack.
Torchy-Tubbies? Torchy-Tubbies? Are you trying to KILL ME here?
It's so cracktastic, i nearly keeled over laughing.
A run down...with a color scheme!
Jack-Jack: Leader of the Torchytubbies, Jack-Jack's sexuality has been the cause of some controversy, owing to the fact he carries a handbag, and is in a physical relationship with Bang-Bang. Again! Again!
Kiss-Kiss: The lady Torchytubby is married to Rhys, but is very much her own woman. As the emotional heart of the Torchytubbies, she is always on hand to start a group hug whenever they try to shoot each other!
Bang-Bang: Bang-Bang is a butler with a secret- he's in love with a vacuum cleaner, which he keeps hidden in the basement! He's also got feelings for Jack-Jack, though, and together they use a stopwatch to time their Tubby Custard.
Rhys: Cuddly Rhys can always be relied upon to stay at home and make beans on Torchy-Toast! Kiss-Kiss loves him, and they often use the television on his tummy to spy on high-level government meetings, or 'just for fun.'
Again. Please, whatever you guys smoked/drank/snorted. For the love of God, pass it over.
Also, interview with GDL, who is always fantastic. And RTD's speech, which i'll put under a cut. I mean, yeah, i don't LJ cut Torchy Tubbies, but i cut this?
Hello SFX, it's Russell T Davies here, I'll just dictate this on to your answerphone. Thanks very much to everyone who voted, and I'd also like to thank... Oh, hold on. Sorry. No, I'm busy, I'm on the phone to SFX. It's a magazine. No wonder you haven't heard of it, it's a specialist magazine. For special people. Yes, with special needs. They've given Torchwood a prize for Best TV Episode. No, stop laughing, they have. No, they really have. Honestly, stop laughing. I'm not kidding, seriously, stop laughing, now. No, it's not the Comedy Awards. Which episode? Day 5. No, not Day 4. No, definitely not Day 4. I didn't write Day 4. I don't f**king care what you think, Day 4 didn't win, okay? And no, he's not coming back to life, so forget it! You're no longer playing Ianto, you're my houseboy, so accept it, okay? Anyway. Yeah, thanks SFX, and thanks to the magnificent cast and crew, and to BBC One for their support. I'm really delighted and honoured that people made the effort to vote for this, so thank you hugely. Hold on. You missed a bit, Gareth, over there, that's it, bend over. Bye. Click. Brrrr."