Subject Of Harsh Conversation (Jalex Fanfiction) Chapter 4
Title: The Time Has Come Jacky...
Author: Steph jaaalex
Pairing: Jalex
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own All Time Low, only the plot.
Summary: Jack confessed his hidden love to a girl called Steph who was touring with her band, will her decision to tell Alex that their secret is out, backfire or work in their favour.
He was so calm about the whole thing, his eyes covered with a saddening look, i couldnt help but blame myself for what Alex did to himself, if i could have stopped myself from telling him, maybe the tour would have continued and Alex and Jack would be alright.
--&--
I still rememeber it like it was yesterday, the words slipping from his pink lips, smirking as he ran the towel over the cuts, hissing at the pain, one would think it would cause him greif, but his hisses indicated that the feeling of the cuts offered some sort of sick intoxicaton.
It had been 2 weeks since the incident. Both our bands were off tour, we were all home. But when i was on tour and walking around late at night, mumbling incoherant words about how fucked up i was, i would over hear Jack and Alex talking, their harsh words hitting me like a stake. I would hear stage whispers of things like...
"Jack, you never loved me" or "Jack, i know im not good enough for you" sometimes i would hear Alex's quiet sobs raking his body, the sound travelling through the night and hitting my ears as my breath hitched, inducing a small panic attack. I didnt need anymore of them.
Their demeanour on stage deteriaorated rapidly after the fight, Jack was happy go lucky, trying to avoid talking to Alex, i presume he knew it would turn into another fight. I think he was just tired of seeing Alex so upset. Alex wasnt jumping around as much, but he will still trying to put up a good front for the fans no matter how transparent it would have seemed to anyone smart enough.
But other nights, i would he whimpers of Jacks name, sudden moans and writhing of the two boys sweaty bodies in the small bunk. Sex was always something Alex never refused, regardless of his mood. But you could tell he felt dirty the morning after.
He stopped speaking to people as much, only really interacting with the crowd, putting on a front for them, repeating the same words to me as i walked past him each night "Im fine, i have stopped cutting, i forgave Jack" it fooled me for a while before one day i got tired of pretending i couldnt see through his transparent front. It may have worked for the fans, but i knew him better.
So 2 weeks later, here we are. I had invited Jack over for lunch, I was going to invite Alex as well, but i figured i shouldnt add to the stress of the situation by pressuring them to be together. I simply put on a nice lunch and later grabbed Jack and pulled him into a small bedroom off to the side. Saying these words straight to his face:
"Jack, how is Alex?"
"I dont know" He said back
"Have you spoken to him after tour?"
"No, i dont want to either, he took it too far" He said with a snap.
"Your so ignorant, you dont think you did either?" I snapped back.
"No, i dont, he over reacted and hasnt spoken to me for months on end, you dont think thats killing me on the inside, you dont think that i would do anything to get Alex back, to see him smile at me again, to see his thighs bare again, to wake up next to him and not have had sex with him, i cant even begin to comprehend how much Alex means to me and right now, you're making it worse, so just stay out of this, alright?" His voice got louder and louder as his stream of though poured out of his firey lips.
"Ill stay out of this Jack, but you need to promise me something?" I said in a small voice. Defeated at how much sense he was making.
"What?" He said in a bitter tone as he pulled his hand out of my grip.
"I need you to promise me that you will do anything to get him back, that you wont slip up again, that you take him in your arms and never let him go" My tone was softening and my breathing was becoming erratic. 'Dont have a panic attack, not now, no'
"Ill try, i want to try, il give it everything ive got" He nodded walking out of the room.
I collapsed on the bed, regulating my breathing over and over. Repeating the motto of "How fucked up can i get" over and over, since i had destroyed their relationship i was now thinking badly of myself.
-- (morning) ---
"Backseat Serenade"
"Dizzy Hurricane"
"Oh God Im sick of sleeping alone"
I heard my phone go off, i hadnt heard that ringtone in a while and thats because its the one i set for when Alex called me. Crawling out of my comforter i grabbed my phone from the charger and pulled it up to my ear mumbling a small 'Hello' into the reciever.
"I just want to say Thankyou"
"For what Alex?" I was extremely confused right now.
"For sticking by me, when things were shit with Jack and i"
"So you've snapped out of the whole 'I dont love Jack' trance now" i said down the phone.
"Y..yeah, im sorry for being such a dick to everyone...i really am" he said in a soft tone. Sincerity oozing through his thick american accented voice.
"Alex, its not okay that you took so long to realise that, but im glad you are alright now, what about your self harming?" I asked carefully, not knowing what type of bond Alex and i had anymore, it was diffucilt to judge over the phone so i went with a careful approach.
"I havent totally stopped, but im on the road to recovery, you know that admitting the problem is the first step towards repair" He said.
"I know Alex, im happy you've decided to be an adult again, what about you and Jack?" I asked, caution creeping through my voice once again.
"We..we are seeing eachother again, talking and trying to be better people, but i just dont trust Jack as much anymore, all im saying is it going to take time..." He murmered.
"Did you tell Jack about what you did while he was stressing out over you?" I asked quietly.
"No. He can never know about me cheating on him with you. If you say anything, i swear to god. You wont be attending another tour. Im finally getting happy with Jack again and those 2 weeks i spent acting like that will make me seem more of an asshole if he ever finds out." He said in angry whispers.
"Okay Alex, its early, im going back to sleep now" I said pissed off at him and his behaviour.
'Keep your mouth shut and i wont ruin your band. Deal. Have a nice sleep" The bittersweet tone of his voice reminding me of the incident 2 weeks ago.
"Deal Alex" I spoke nodding.
It going to be hard keeping it from Jack, but the closer they get the further away my dream of being with my true love gets.
Who is my true love? You guessed it.
Alex.
Author: Steph jaaalex
Pairing: Jalex
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own All Time Low, only the plot.
Summary: Jack confessed his hidden love to a girl called Steph who was touring with her band, will her decision to tell Alex that their secret is out, backfire or work in their favour.
He was so calm about the whole thing, his eyes covered with a saddening look, i couldnt help but blame myself for what Alex did to himself, if i could have stopped myself from telling him, maybe the tour would have continued and Alex and Jack would be alright.
--&--
I still rememeber it like it was yesterday, the words slipping from his pink lips, smirking as he ran the towel over the cuts, hissing at the pain, one would think it would cause him greif, but his hisses indicated that the feeling of the cuts offered some sort of sick intoxicaton.
It had been 2 weeks since the incident. Both our bands were off tour, we were all home. But when i was on tour and walking around late at night, mumbling incoherant words about how fucked up i was, i would over hear Jack and Alex talking, their harsh words hitting me like a stake. I would hear stage whispers of things like...
"Jack, you never loved me" or "Jack, i know im not good enough for you" sometimes i would hear Alex's quiet sobs raking his body, the sound travelling through the night and hitting my ears as my breath hitched, inducing a small panic attack. I didnt need anymore of them.
Their demeanour on stage deteriaorated rapidly after the fight, Jack was happy go lucky, trying to avoid talking to Alex, i presume he knew it would turn into another fight. I think he was just tired of seeing Alex so upset. Alex wasnt jumping around as much, but he will still trying to put up a good front for the fans no matter how transparent it would have seemed to anyone smart enough.
But other nights, i would he whimpers of Jacks name, sudden moans and writhing of the two boys sweaty bodies in the small bunk. Sex was always something Alex never refused, regardless of his mood. But you could tell he felt dirty the morning after.
He stopped speaking to people as much, only really interacting with the crowd, putting on a front for them, repeating the same words to me as i walked past him each night "Im fine, i have stopped cutting, i forgave Jack" it fooled me for a while before one day i got tired of pretending i couldnt see through his transparent front. It may have worked for the fans, but i knew him better.
So 2 weeks later, here we are. I had invited Jack over for lunch, I was going to invite Alex as well, but i figured i shouldnt add to the stress of the situation by pressuring them to be together. I simply put on a nice lunch and later grabbed Jack and pulled him into a small bedroom off to the side. Saying these words straight to his face:
"Jack, how is Alex?"
"I dont know" He said back
"Have you spoken to him after tour?"
"No, i dont want to either, he took it too far" He said with a snap.
"Your so ignorant, you dont think you did either?" I snapped back.
"No, i dont, he over reacted and hasnt spoken to me for months on end, you dont think thats killing me on the inside, you dont think that i would do anything to get Alex back, to see him smile at me again, to see his thighs bare again, to wake up next to him and not have had sex with him, i cant even begin to comprehend how much Alex means to me and right now, you're making it worse, so just stay out of this, alright?" His voice got louder and louder as his stream of though poured out of his firey lips.
"Ill stay out of this Jack, but you need to promise me something?" I said in a small voice. Defeated at how much sense he was making.
"What?" He said in a bitter tone as he pulled his hand out of my grip.
"I need you to promise me that you will do anything to get him back, that you wont slip up again, that you take him in your arms and never let him go" My tone was softening and my breathing was becoming erratic. 'Dont have a panic attack, not now, no'
"Ill try, i want to try, il give it everything ive got" He nodded walking out of the room.
I collapsed on the bed, regulating my breathing over and over. Repeating the motto of "How fucked up can i get" over and over, since i had destroyed their relationship i was now thinking badly of myself.
-- (morning) ---
"Backseat Serenade"
"Dizzy Hurricane"
"Oh God Im sick of sleeping alone"
I heard my phone go off, i hadnt heard that ringtone in a while and thats because its the one i set for when Alex called me. Crawling out of my comforter i grabbed my phone from the charger and pulled it up to my ear mumbling a small 'Hello' into the reciever.
"I just want to say Thankyou"
"For what Alex?" I was extremely confused right now.
"For sticking by me, when things were shit with Jack and i"
"So you've snapped out of the whole 'I dont love Jack' trance now" i said down the phone.
"Y..yeah, im sorry for being such a dick to everyone...i really am" he said in a soft tone. Sincerity oozing through his thick american accented voice.
"Alex, its not okay that you took so long to realise that, but im glad you are alright now, what about your self harming?" I asked carefully, not knowing what type of bond Alex and i had anymore, it was diffucilt to judge over the phone so i went with a careful approach.
"I havent totally stopped, but im on the road to recovery, you know that admitting the problem is the first step towards repair" He said.
"I know Alex, im happy you've decided to be an adult again, what about you and Jack?" I asked, caution creeping through my voice once again.
"We..we are seeing eachother again, talking and trying to be better people, but i just dont trust Jack as much anymore, all im saying is it going to take time..." He murmered.
"Did you tell Jack about what you did while he was stressing out over you?" I asked quietly.
"No. He can never know about me cheating on him with you. If you say anything, i swear to god. You wont be attending another tour. Im finally getting happy with Jack again and those 2 weeks i spent acting like that will make me seem more of an asshole if he ever finds out." He said in angry whispers.
"Okay Alex, its early, im going back to sleep now" I said pissed off at him and his behaviour.
'Keep your mouth shut and i wont ruin your band. Deal. Have a nice sleep" The bittersweet tone of his voice reminding me of the incident 2 weeks ago.
"Deal Alex" I spoke nodding.
It going to be hard keeping it from Jack, but the closer they get the further away my dream of being with my true love gets.
Who is my true love? You guessed it.
Alex.