long time no see
so ya
things kinda suck right now
work is horrible... way too many hours
grrrr
oh well at least i'm making money... sure i don't have a life, but when did i ever?
my car is dead... yes my beautimous cro-baby.. ::sniffles:: i just had her a year and we must part our ways
NEVER buying an american-made or used car ever again
now i want a beamer... muahaha
i'll probably end up with a toyota though lol
my parents are fighting against
a) because my mom's a control freak and just plain fucked up in the head
and
b) my dad has a serious problem with lying
it's weird to have your parents fighting when they're on two separate continents
once again i am puzzled by relationships... i don't get why people fight that much, or hurt each other so much, and lie so much... really... what's the point then?
anyways these last few weeks have been so stressful and so many things have happened, especially concerning my friends
like i feel like i'm not connecting with anyone anymore
i try so hard to live life by these standards and i DON'T expect my friends to live by those standards AT ALL, but when they make stupid decisions that they realize later they regret and when they start hurting, i hurt
but then they make the same mistakes again
and again
and i don't know what to do anymore
i'm so tired of being a moral crutch/support for everyone
yet i know that's part of WHO I AM
i was talking to someone about how i've changed recently, and i realized i have
and it kinda scares me
like, what else is gonna go next ya know?
before i was anti-drinking, smoking, evertyhing
now it's like i don't care
i should care
so tonight at mass (which i haven't been to in 3 weeks.. it felt so good to be back) i was thinking about it a bit... no more stupid decisions, cause sooner or later it's gonna catch up to me, whether 30 years from now when i'm a mom and i found out my already damaged lungs from TB were futher damaged by smoking and now i have cancer.. or when i'm 70 and i have to go through dialysis treatments for a bad liver due to alcohol
thanks, but no thanks
i'm not saying i'm gonna like lock myself away from the world now, or go to like a frickin convent, but i'm gonna think twice next time
so ya if i seem distant lately, or if i continue to be off in my own little world, i'm ok really, i just have a lot going on, and you guys know how personal i am about stuff... love you all
God Bless
got this song stuck in my head after mass tonight...
Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name...
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name...
things kinda suck right now
work is horrible... way too many hours
grrrr
oh well at least i'm making money... sure i don't have a life, but when did i ever?
my car is dead... yes my beautimous cro-baby.. ::sniffles:: i just had her a year and we must part our ways
NEVER buying an american-made or used car ever again
now i want a beamer... muahaha
i'll probably end up with a toyota though lol
my parents are fighting against
a) because my mom's a control freak and just plain fucked up in the head
and
b) my dad has a serious problem with lying
it's weird to have your parents fighting when they're on two separate continents
once again i am puzzled by relationships... i don't get why people fight that much, or hurt each other so much, and lie so much... really... what's the point then?
anyways these last few weeks have been so stressful and so many things have happened, especially concerning my friends
like i feel like i'm not connecting with anyone anymore
i try so hard to live life by these standards and i DON'T expect my friends to live by those standards AT ALL, but when they make stupid decisions that they realize later they regret and when they start hurting, i hurt
but then they make the same mistakes again
and again
and i don't know what to do anymore
i'm so tired of being a moral crutch/support for everyone
yet i know that's part of WHO I AM
i was talking to someone about how i've changed recently, and i realized i have
and it kinda scares me
like, what else is gonna go next ya know?
before i was anti-drinking, smoking, evertyhing
now it's like i don't care
i should care
so tonight at mass (which i haven't been to in 3 weeks.. it felt so good to be back) i was thinking about it a bit... no more stupid decisions, cause sooner or later it's gonna catch up to me, whether 30 years from now when i'm a mom and i found out my already damaged lungs from TB were futher damaged by smoking and now i have cancer.. or when i'm 70 and i have to go through dialysis treatments for a bad liver due to alcohol
thanks, but no thanks
i'm not saying i'm gonna like lock myself away from the world now, or go to like a frickin convent, but i'm gonna think twice next time
so ya if i seem distant lately, or if i continue to be off in my own little world, i'm ok really, i just have a lot going on, and you guys know how personal i am about stuff... love you all
God Bless
got this song stuck in my head after mass tonight...
Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name...
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name...