Apr 11, 2009 12:01
The other night, Jake and I were talking about the 5 love languages.
As a refresher, the 5 love languages are:
1. Physical Touch
2. Words of Affirmation
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality Time
5. Gifts
I had always said my top two were Acts of Service and Quality Time, but when we were talking about it the other night, I started questioning this. I did come to that conclusion 2 years ago, and things change, so perhaps my love language has changed, too?
I felt the need to question my own love language because I seemed to be all over the place when Jake was asking me questions. For example, Jake's parents showed love by Touch and Words of Affirmation; he feels most appreciated by me with Touch; his top two are Touch and Words. It's all very clean-cut for him :)
Me, however: mom showed her love with Gifts, dad with Quality Time, and I feel most appreciated by Jake with his Words...and then I say my number one is Acts? It doesn't seem like I should be so...everywhere with it.
I know Touch is not my #1. I really really enjoy Touch, but I always think back to GAC people who were SO touchy-feely, but had no deeper investment in me. It showed me that physical touch can give you the illusion of intimacy without the actual intimacy. Often we don't want to work on the intimacy, so we'll opt for the illusion (an example is people jumping into bed with someone else--they want to be intimate with someone, even if it is just for a few hours). So while I enjoy touch, especially from Jake, I can't say it's my #1 love language because I feel like anyone can hug me, pet me, squeeze my hand, and while it's nice, it doesn't imply to me love. You can blame GAC for that.
One of my favorite memories with Jake thus far is when we walked down to Imo's to pick up a pizza. It's mundane, but I loved walking in the beautiful weather with the promise of yummy pizza on the horizon :) This causes me to think perhaps my preferred love language is Quality Time. Which would make sense, since it's how my dad showed his love, and I'm sure there's got to be some ways the parent of the opposite gender affects your romantic relationships, for better or worse.
Words of Affirmation never meant too much to me until I started dating Jake. Perhaps it just needs to be the RIGHT words (and Jake is good for those :)).
So perhaps...perhaps my top 2 are Quality Time and Words of Affirmation. Next would be Acts of Service...and I would lump Touch and Gifts together as things that I really enjoy but don't always indicate love.