I'm a gigantic cockend more like!

[j_u_d_a_s]

I am a male feminist.

I will praise women who I deem intellectually worthy.

I will support a woman's right to an abortion and ignore or criticise single mothers.

I will never experience institutionalised sexism but will claim full knowledge of and speak out against it because my voice will be heard more.

I will define what is and isn't rape to women.

I will campaign for equal rights in the workplace while campaigning against strip clubs/sex work/Hooters restaurants. Women will work jobs that I deem are good for them.

I will support laws that restrict a woman's right on what to wear.

I will speak out against legalising prostitution for women's own good.

I will champion feminist causes, speak out against misogny and I will expect to be recognised and rewarded for doing so.

I am a male feminist and I'm here to save you women from yourselves.

TL;DR - Any man who self describes as a feminist makes my teeth itch and should have a cocktail stick rammed down their peehole.
As you can tell, I don't identify as a feminist. I just identify as a smart-arse ;)