A Crappy day turned magically AWESOME!
The crappy part was the funeral i had to go to at 11:30. For my great grandmother. I still can't believe she died.
my goodness. i thought the WAKE was sad. people were hysterically crying. i felt bad, because i couldn't cry. i actually wanted to, to not feel so out of place, but i couldn't. the tears never came.
i ended up being one of the pallbearers too (person who carries the casket), so i had the "pleasure," if thats what u call it, of seeing them lowering her down into her coffin and closing the lid. making it official. she's not coming back. ever. wow. death is a funny thing. it messes with your mind.
i remember when my Uncle Roy died, i was one of the pallbearers for that too. i was REALLY close with my uncle though, and when i saw them close the casket, i completely lost it. like i had a complete emotional breakdown. i don't think i've cried that hard since.
this time, though, it was different. no breakdown. i thought there was something wrong with me. Even my DAD teared up a little, not fullblown sobbing, but wet eyed. me? nothing. not a drop. i felt so calloused.
anyway. we went to the cemetary. we stayed there for like 5 minutes, threw some flowers on the grave, and left. went to colonial diner. like nothing ever happened. WEIRD. we were laughing and joking around MINUTES after the cemetary. it all just seemed so surreal.
It was cool. alans dad came and paid his respects, which he totally didnt have to do. what a great guy. he definitely doesn't get as much thanks as he deserves. ive realized, he's like a dad to me. he helped me out when i started playing worship, and he always tries to help out now. besides, i practically LIVE at his house. haha.
wow this is going to be a long entry. haha. i didnt mean it to be.
anyway, i stop elaboratng so much. on the way home, stopped by exxon to get gas and to visit alan. he asked me to hang out with him and dean smith later (ignite kid). so that made happy after the mornings events.
went home. had christmas with my family because they're leaving for florida for 2 weeks tomorrow morning. i got a GPS system! and a large sum of money. i so don't deserve any of it. God is good.
went to alans. watched his jamie cullum DVD for a few hours. he's awesome. so talented.
then we went to pick up dean. showed up at like 6:45. talked with his parents a little. i guess it was a good thing i went with alan. it helped ease the tension a little bit. it wouldve been much more awkward for him if he did it by himself. whatev. im glad to help out.
went to get pizza, then we went to AC moore to buy these random things to give to ppl. they include: "ethnic" babies, a plank of wood, flowers, a change purse, and random felt hats. haha.
then we went to the mall. lol dean was awesome, he would just go up to random ppl and give them flowers. we handed out the babies and put some of the babies in the change purse and left it in the starbucks tip jar.
the best thing though, by FAR, was the dunkin donuts drive thru. alan bought something, and handed this old indian guy money through the window, then he handed him this plank of wood. haha. the guys reaction was priceless. "What's this? OOOO!!! BOARD!!! TANK YOU!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!" hahahahaha. i laughed so hard. best thing ever.
dropped dean off. went back to alans. had some ziti. then went home. awesome, awesome night. today turned out great. praise the Lord.
my goodness. i thought the WAKE was sad. people were hysterically crying. i felt bad, because i couldn't cry. i actually wanted to, to not feel so out of place, but i couldn't. the tears never came.
i ended up being one of the pallbearers too (person who carries the casket), so i had the "pleasure," if thats what u call it, of seeing them lowering her down into her coffin and closing the lid. making it official. she's not coming back. ever. wow. death is a funny thing. it messes with your mind.
i remember when my Uncle Roy died, i was one of the pallbearers for that too. i was REALLY close with my uncle though, and when i saw them close the casket, i completely lost it. like i had a complete emotional breakdown. i don't think i've cried that hard since.
this time, though, it was different. no breakdown. i thought there was something wrong with me. Even my DAD teared up a little, not fullblown sobbing, but wet eyed. me? nothing. not a drop. i felt so calloused.
anyway. we went to the cemetary. we stayed there for like 5 minutes, threw some flowers on the grave, and left. went to colonial diner. like nothing ever happened. WEIRD. we were laughing and joking around MINUTES after the cemetary. it all just seemed so surreal.
It was cool. alans dad came and paid his respects, which he totally didnt have to do. what a great guy. he definitely doesn't get as much thanks as he deserves. ive realized, he's like a dad to me. he helped me out when i started playing worship, and he always tries to help out now. besides, i practically LIVE at his house. haha.
wow this is going to be a long entry. haha. i didnt mean it to be.
anyway, i stop elaboratng so much. on the way home, stopped by exxon to get gas and to visit alan. he asked me to hang out with him and dean smith later (ignite kid). so that made happy after the mornings events.
went home. had christmas with my family because they're leaving for florida for 2 weeks tomorrow morning. i got a GPS system! and a large sum of money. i so don't deserve any of it. God is good.
went to alans. watched his jamie cullum DVD for a few hours. he's awesome. so talented.
then we went to pick up dean. showed up at like 6:45. talked with his parents a little. i guess it was a good thing i went with alan. it helped ease the tension a little bit. it wouldve been much more awkward for him if he did it by himself. whatev. im glad to help out.
went to get pizza, then we went to AC moore to buy these random things to give to ppl. they include: "ethnic" babies, a plank of wood, flowers, a change purse, and random felt hats. haha.
then we went to the mall. lol dean was awesome, he would just go up to random ppl and give them flowers. we handed out the babies and put some of the babies in the change purse and left it in the starbucks tip jar.
the best thing though, by FAR, was the dunkin donuts drive thru. alan bought something, and handed this old indian guy money through the window, then he handed him this plank of wood. haha. the guys reaction was priceless. "What's this? OOOO!!! BOARD!!! TANK YOU!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!" hahahahaha. i laughed so hard. best thing ever.
dropped dean off. went back to alans. had some ziti. then went home. awesome, awesome night. today turned out great. praise the Lord.