May 23, 2005 00:46
I haven't been able to access the LJ monster for a few days and I have a belated birthday wish to make. Last fall I met one of the greatest friends I've ever had. She's smart and funny and a good listener and she can always make me smile, no matter what kind of mood I'm in. We connect like we've been friends for years and it still amazes me even now how we both know exactly how the other is feeling. I can relate to her in ways I've never been able to with anyone else before. She's an incredible person. She's kind and hilarious and understanding and just all-around wonderful. She's my surfing partner and when we can, we take walks in the mornings with our pigs while we feed them oranges and I don't have a better way to start my day than that. I'm lucky to know her and have her in my life, and I always will be. Happy belated birthday, Sanoe. I love you and I hope your day was everything that you deserve and then some.
Since I've been back in LA I've gone to visit James in the UK twice. Just recently I met up with him in Cannes and I got to meet the cast of his movie, all of whom were wonderfully fun and very kind. It makes me smile to see how much James is enjoying himself with this project. We met up with Natalie Portman and I really hope that she let me rub her head. I'm back in LA again and spending time with my Marla, which is always wonderful. We're going to go see Star Wars and dress up. I told her that if I wasn't with James, C3PO would most definitely be my boyfriend. We'll probably see if Dan wants to come along, since I think I waited in line with him for the midnight show on Wednesday while we dressed up as Jedi and played with lightsabers.
Somewhere in all of this wonderful madness of life I had surgery on my throat. Nothing huge, I had some nodules removed, but as a result, any work on my album I was hoping to get done has been pushed back at least a couple of months. There's been some slight drama in the immediate *NSYNC family, but I'm sort of used to playing the role of the bad guy. That isn't meant to sound bitter or spiteful, I understand the how and the why of my role in the uncertainty of *NSYNC's future. I also don't begrudge a mother the right to feel defensive and sad for her son. I do feel selfish sometimes for not so easily being able to make the decision between further pursuing my own endeavors or going back to the group. We have CFTC this summer, but the past couple of years it's felt more bittersweet than anything else, and even though the guys are continually the great friends that they've always been, I still feel slightly out of place. I can usually shake that, though, and they always know how to put me back in my place, so I'm fairly certain this year wont be any different.
James and I have almost reached our nine month anniversary. Yes, I am still counting. I'm in love and I'm smiling and I'm happy and I wouldn't have it any other way.