I wanna know how it feels to be useful and pertinent.

[j_standy]

My aunt, uncle, and cousin were in geneva for an evening. They stopped here on their way back to North Carolina after vacationing in Cape Cod. They are my only close family. Grandmother, mother, and myself met them for dinner. We see eachother about once a year. It started out very akward, and only got worse. Too my surprise it only became worse. As more drinks were left on our table, more insults and cracks started flying. My cousin and I pretty much just sat there shuffling our food around our plates while we listened to our very caring family members tear eachother apart. What I don't understand is why, after growing up together, they moved 900 miles away from eachother, and then on occasion when they do see eachother they are bitches. Maybe they just don't like eachother. Anyways I think soon it's going to be my and my cousins responsibilty to save this god damn fucked up family. Joy is me...

Beef Jerky..

I fear that despite myself
I can’t remind myself
To fight myself
And my urges to steal your eyes.

It’s hard to keep concentrating
Pretending to fight all I love
Take anything you wish dear
And I’ll keep contemplating
The emptiest feeling inside
Overanalyzed..

Standing beside myself
I look inside myself
Can’t confide myself
And I’d love to steal your eyes.

I’ve got a taste for blood
From your waste of a heart
The same one that can’t love
I’ve got a taste for blood
From your waste of a heart
The one that can’t love me.

I want to see those eyes
I’d love to steal those eyes
I need to cherish your eyes
Let me live inside your eyes.