I wanted my first kiss to be special
And it was.
I know now that I've sometimes been attracted to some men, but I didn't really realize it/consciously admit it till a couple of months ago. My darling Caroline has long thought it would be intriguing if I were to be intimate with another man but I always told her I wasn't interested.
Then somehow the floodgates opened. I found myself attracted to a couple of men I'd been friends with for years, and to some men I'd met recently. All of them were taken (many by men who were also friends) and my honour and integrity didn't allow me to attempt to seduce any of them and/or get them drunk. I had a couple of very kind offers from friends to, em, show me the ropes, but they were men I wasn't attracted to in that way and I wasn't sure what it might do to our friendship. I was tempted, at times, to just try to pick up some guy at a bar so I'd know what it was like, but thank goodness for friends who urged me to be patient. As Dom said to me, what I really wanted I wouldn't be finding in a bar -- a good friend, someone to be cuddly and affectionate with as well as more physical. I've never been interested in just a fuck, and have never been physical with someone I wasn't friends with.
Thank you, my friends, for putting up with my bitching and moaning and wild cuddling & flirting (well, those last two aren't likely to stop ;) and for the reassurance and encouragement and support and all that stuff that friends do for each other. It's meant a lot, and helped a lot.
And it was worth the wait, worth it to find someone I was really attracted to, who was attracted to me, who I could become good friends with, just sit around and laugh with. For me, whether it's men or women (and I'm finding that gender isn't really all that important), there's a lot more to my attraction than just the physical. I'm attracted to people who can make me laugh and make me think, to people who intrigue me so much that I want to know what's inside them, what makes them tick, how they think, how they feel.
So we met here and I guess things just clicked. I'm a fan of his work, he's a fan of mine. One nice thing about LA is that so many of us live around here. So we got together and just hung out on the couch talking, about just stuff, but also "hypothetical" situations, how either of us would feel about getting physical with a man, et cetera. But there was flirting, too, playing with each other's hair, all that little stuff. I was nervous but not scared, if that makes sense.
And then I guess we each finally saw what we wanted to see (or thought we needed to see) in the other's eyes, and our lips met. And our eyes met again, and then our lips met again, and again ... and it was glorious. Just ... wow. We both felt like we could sit there wrapped around each other and kiss for hours. Need for sleep interfered, but we made plans to get together tonight. Yes, I'm very much looking forward to spending more time with him. Yeah, him. An unlikely match? Perhaps. But we're both weird and we like it that way. Feel free to nominate us for must_br_rawr's "The Couple No One Wants To Think About Having Sex" Award. I'll be thinking of it enough to make up for everyone else.
I know now that I've sometimes been attracted to some men, but I didn't really realize it/consciously admit it till a couple of months ago. My darling Caroline has long thought it would be intriguing if I were to be intimate with another man but I always told her I wasn't interested.
Then somehow the floodgates opened. I found myself attracted to a couple of men I'd been friends with for years, and to some men I'd met recently. All of them were taken (many by men who were also friends) and my honour and integrity didn't allow me to attempt to seduce any of them and/or get them drunk. I had a couple of very kind offers from friends to, em, show me the ropes, but they were men I wasn't attracted to in that way and I wasn't sure what it might do to our friendship. I was tempted, at times, to just try to pick up some guy at a bar so I'd know what it was like, but thank goodness for friends who urged me to be patient. As Dom said to me, what I really wanted I wouldn't be finding in a bar -- a good friend, someone to be cuddly and affectionate with as well as more physical. I've never been interested in just a fuck, and have never been physical with someone I wasn't friends with.
Thank you, my friends, for putting up with my bitching and moaning and wild cuddling & flirting (well, those last two aren't likely to stop ;) and for the reassurance and encouragement and support and all that stuff that friends do for each other. It's meant a lot, and helped a lot.
And it was worth the wait, worth it to find someone I was really attracted to, who was attracted to me, who I could become good friends with, just sit around and laugh with. For me, whether it's men or women (and I'm finding that gender isn't really all that important), there's a lot more to my attraction than just the physical. I'm attracted to people who can make me laugh and make me think, to people who intrigue me so much that I want to know what's inside them, what makes them tick, how they think, how they feel.
So we met here and I guess things just clicked. I'm a fan of his work, he's a fan of mine. One nice thing about LA is that so many of us live around here. So we got together and just hung out on the couch talking, about just stuff, but also "hypothetical" situations, how either of us would feel about getting physical with a man, et cetera. But there was flirting, too, playing with each other's hair, all that little stuff. I was nervous but not scared, if that makes sense.
And then I guess we each finally saw what we wanted to see (or thought we needed to see) in the other's eyes, and our lips met. And our eyes met again, and then our lips met again, and again ... and it was glorious. Just ... wow. We both felt like we could sit there wrapped around each other and kiss for hours. Need for sleep interfered, but we made plans to get together tonight. Yes, I'm very much looking forward to spending more time with him. Yeah, him. An unlikely match? Perhaps. But we're both weird and we like it that way. Feel free to nominate us for must_br_rawr's "The Couple No One Wants To Think About Having Sex" Award. I'll be thinking of it enough to make up for everyone else.