(no subject)
Over a year later, and I still find myself returning to this journal to do my reflecting. I guess my absence for the past year demonstrates how little reflecting I did. I could write about it now, but what would be the point? These ramblings serve as a place to unload my emotions and work through the things I am dealing with at a given moment. The events of the last year are already behind me, and although I am sure they have had their part in effecting who I am, I feel there is no need to pick them back up and examine them...at least for now. Suffice to say, 2012 was a terrible and wonderful period of time.
Most things happening lately are good things. I will be starting my first full semester at UNLV in a little less than a month, and my VSG surgery is two weeks from today. I've just started the pre op diet...day one has been horrible and I've felt nauseous/hungry/tired all day. My hope is that in a few days my stomach will start shrinking down and I wont feel so deprived. Right now all I can think of is all the delicious shit I am NOT eating and WILL NOT be eating for a very long time. It makes me emo. I feel like an alcoholic with nary a drop to drink. I'm beginning to realize that this is definitely not going to be as easy as I thought it was. I mean I know on a fundamental level that this is what I want, and that I will endure whatever is necessary to make this work....but right now I just feel sick and deprived and scared as my surgery date draws closer. I almost wish it was tomorrow...just so I wouldnt have to be hungry and nervous for the next two weeks.
Blah
Most things happening lately are good things. I will be starting my first full semester at UNLV in a little less than a month, and my VSG surgery is two weeks from today. I've just started the pre op diet...day one has been horrible and I've felt nauseous/hungry/tired all day. My hope is that in a few days my stomach will start shrinking down and I wont feel so deprived. Right now all I can think of is all the delicious shit I am NOT eating and WILL NOT be eating for a very long time. It makes me emo. I feel like an alcoholic with nary a drop to drink. I'm beginning to realize that this is definitely not going to be as easy as I thought it was. I mean I know on a fundamental level that this is what I want, and that I will endure whatever is necessary to make this work....but right now I just feel sick and deprived and scared as my surgery date draws closer. I almost wish it was tomorrow...just so I wouldnt have to be hungry and nervous for the next two weeks.
Blah