Very Long Time
Its been such a long time since I have been on here. A lot has changed in my life. Broke up with a boyfriend, graduated high school, found out an ex got another girl pregnant my heart broke, became a workaholic, moved away from home and became really focused with school. I travel to Georgia a lot now. I really like someone at the University of Georgia I went there last weekend and Im going back next weekend. My life has changed a lot and I would like to think its for the better. I keep asking myself why do I keep conversing back and forth with a certain person. Am I wrong if I think I deserve better does he really think that he does me right all the time Im not even sure what I want. I kind of just want to be single and enjoy my college years and i dont feel someone is understanding I am in college and have dream.? Is it possible to have dreams you want to accomplish and and a long distance relationship? Especially if the relationship is not strong. I enjoy going to ga and having fun there but I have a whole other life still left back in daytona that is slowly dying away I care for him but I dont know if i care about the relationship anymore it might just be the convenience of having someone there until I am secure with someone else. anyways I guess the easiest way to say what I want is to say it I think what I want is to put on hold what we are and for me to do what I want have when Im done go back to him. I guess that would not be correct though but its the truth thats what I want. I guess you can call it having your cake and eat it too. If every dude I ever date always got to do that Y can't I do the same thing. I still have a lot to learn. I was fine until I realized the person I have loved all this time and was shamefully waiting for is having a baby and is truly gone. Before then I didnt care I was just so sure one day it would happen I would get my dream of being with who I wanted one day and until then I would just live but since that is kind of crushed I hadnt really thought out my plan b yet I guess im going to have to get back on here and write when I figure it out until then ....