(no subject)

[j_j_j_jenna]

I remember why I invest so much in this scene
in these people.
They are my solid ground
my good days
my screams and jumps up and down.
they don't take from me
they give give give.
I have so many amazing people
that are like family to me.
best friends so numerous my heart swells to think of it.

Christopher's spoken word cd makes me so happy I can only scream to try and release some of the pleasure.
He's brilliant.
He's my mentor.
My hero.
I believe in his words more than I believe anything in my whole life.
He has been at the helm of every good decision I've made in the past year and a half.

I was couragous today.
And it tears me apart to not have the guts to talk to him throughout the day
It completely ruins my day.
Trust me that every frown was because of it.
But I like when I almost fail but I make myself say something.
I stop and make it obvious that I'm stopping for him.
I like the way he mumbles and whispers when he talks to me.
So shy.
Be bold.

Fall Out Boy
god, fall out boy
you have no idea how badly i needed them to come back
and they have
oh, they have.

milk duds compliment ibsen.
jasmine and i are easy like sunday morning.
pottery barn kids employs the nicest people.
hopefully i'll join that.
if not i'll work across the street at william sonoma.

you are the people
who walk through the door for me.
you are the people
who make my heart feel good.
make me feel good.
genuine and not feigned.
i promise.
i love you.
i fucking love you.
and you are why i wake up and keep trying every day
because i can't let you down.

i miss chicago.
so hard i can feel it in my heart when i think of it.
that scares me.

leslie,
i hope you feel better soon.
if you send me your address, i'll send you a birthday cardddddddddd.
:]