life deliberate.

Mar 13, 2007 21:59

matthew 7:7 just keeps running through my mind ( Read more... )

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j_j_j_jenna March 14 2007, 09:03:43 UTC
Jaminedear,
I know that I should savor what I've got but it just seems like out of all the senior years people are having, mines sort of falling short. My fault, I know. But everytime I feel like being fun and crazy and a teen no one ever seems into it. I feel this tremendous disconnect within our friends and it bothers me. I feel like we all need something to be planned a month in advance and even then it won't happen. It sort of has made me just stop trying. I find fun with other people like late night hangs with out of highschoolers, but that really only goes so far.
And he doesn't mean to make me feel that way about my age. In all realities we really both are at similar places in our lives and in our heads. The only thing is that I can see when he holds back on our friendship because of the uncomfortable situations that might arise if he were to encourage it, you get me? And I just feel that in a lot of ways, if my age were a couple numbers higher, I might not have that divide. And there might not be a divide with some of the other older people I know who sort of keep me at a certain point because they think itd be weird to hang with someone still in high school. Still so young. Blah blah blah. Graduating is the freedome from so many social stigmas and lifestyle burdens that I undergo. It will be nice to work more with school out of the way. And contribute more to my household. Idk, I'm just comin from a different place in my head.
It passes so don't worry. Lets try and have more fun together before we graduate, okay?
And matthew 7:7 is somewhere along the lines of, "keep on asking,and you shall receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone that asks, receives. Everyone that seeks, finds. And to everyone that knocks, the will be opened."

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