(no subject)
I'm sortof freaking out. I don't really know what to do, about anything. I wish I could just rewind and rewind and stop pause and edit and not be so messed up in the head.
my voice is almost completely gone from this cold. I had one cigarette today.
I wish I could take enough sleeping pills to sleep through winter and come back in the spring.
I made raspberry zinger tea just now and the smell reminds me of summer when I was little. looking out my window to the right is the sunset and the blue bedspread with the rainbow stars on it.
today morgan finally cleaned out the stinky soup bowl in the sink. i did dishes a couple of days ago, and that was the stinkiest one so i told her she had to do that one since she made the soup anyways, which was like two weeks ago. and then it sat there for more days, getting stinkier. and so today i told her i would do the rest of the dishes again if she finally cleaned up the stinky soup pot. so she did and then i did almost all of the rest of the dishes which are drying right now and then later i will put them away and do the rest. but after she cleaned it the soup pot was still stinky and so were the dishes that were in direct contact with it. so those are soaking right now.
I can't get motivated on my thesis stuff. I am just trying to concentrate on getting over this cold right now. Other than that, I just have to read two chapters for my history class but I have forever to do that because next week is Martin Luther King Jr. Day on Monday. which is awesome so I can even wait until next week to do that. my history teacher looks like george castanza.
and I just don't know what to do because everyone keeps telling me it's wrong it's wrong it's wrong but what if it's right? what if it was just wrong those other times and this time it's finally right? why doesn't anything make any fucking sense anymore. i feel like it made sense for a little while and then you came back and everything got tough again. but things make more sense than they did before. I just wish I could open up my head and show you because I am not too good with words.
and I got a bloody nose yesterday, for the first time since like 6th or 7th grade. I thought my nose was just running and I was sitting by the window and I looked out and saw my reflection and realized that there was blood dripping down my face. I got really freaked out and didn't know what to do.
I can't wear my own perfume, it smells too much like summer. everything smells like summer.
my voice is almost completely gone from this cold. I had one cigarette today.
I wish I could take enough sleeping pills to sleep through winter and come back in the spring.
I made raspberry zinger tea just now and the smell reminds me of summer when I was little. looking out my window to the right is the sunset and the blue bedspread with the rainbow stars on it.
today morgan finally cleaned out the stinky soup bowl in the sink. i did dishes a couple of days ago, and that was the stinkiest one so i told her she had to do that one since she made the soup anyways, which was like two weeks ago. and then it sat there for more days, getting stinkier. and so today i told her i would do the rest of the dishes again if she finally cleaned up the stinky soup pot. so she did and then i did almost all of the rest of the dishes which are drying right now and then later i will put them away and do the rest. but after she cleaned it the soup pot was still stinky and so were the dishes that were in direct contact with it. so those are soaking right now.
I can't get motivated on my thesis stuff. I am just trying to concentrate on getting over this cold right now. Other than that, I just have to read two chapters for my history class but I have forever to do that because next week is Martin Luther King Jr. Day on Monday. which is awesome so I can even wait until next week to do that. my history teacher looks like george castanza.
and I just don't know what to do because everyone keeps telling me it's wrong it's wrong it's wrong but what if it's right? what if it was just wrong those other times and this time it's finally right? why doesn't anything make any fucking sense anymore. i feel like it made sense for a little while and then you came back and everything got tough again. but things make more sense than they did before. I just wish I could open up my head and show you because I am not too good with words.
and I got a bloody nose yesterday, for the first time since like 6th or 7th grade. I thought my nose was just running and I was sitting by the window and I looked out and saw my reflection and realized that there was blood dripping down my face. I got really freaked out and didn't know what to do.
I can't wear my own perfume, it smells too much like summer. everything smells like summer.