One Week
Yeah, it's been a week since I've had a cigarette, so take that you stupid addiction!! Take that and eat it! I don't know if any of my LJ friends have ever smoked or given up the nasty habit, so I'm just going to give you an idea as to what I’ve been noticing post cancer stick days.
1. I can breathe much easier. Now I know that's a "well duh" kind of statement, but it's true. I don't really wheeze as much as I did in the past, just in one week of not smoking.
2. When I wake up in the morning (or afternoon) I don't have a gross taste in my mouth anymore. I use to wake up and need to drink a glass of water or something, because the taste I'd have in my mouth was absolutely disgusting.
3. It bothers me to be near other people who smoke. At the hotel, there is a guest room not to far from the desk, it's a smoking room, and it's currently occupied. I know the people in that room are smoking heavily. Whenever their door opens, I can just smell it. When they come up to the desk I can smell it. And to be quite honest, the smell makes me want to throw up. Yesterday alone, I nearly threw up three times.
4. I don't go outside nearly as much as I should anymore. The only times go outside are to get into my car or get out of my car these days. I really have no reason to go outside when it's so cold out. So now I have to make more of a conscience effort to get off my ass and go outside. Last night at around midnight I decided to go for a walk, just because I needed to get out.
5. The urge to have a cigarette isn't really there. Last time I tried to quit smoking; I kept getting urges to light up. But this time it's just not there. I don't have a desire to. I've seen a couple movies where people were smoking in them and I didn't get the urge to reach through the TV screen and grab the cigarette out of their hand and take a puff. That's not so say, I haven't had an urge, and I’m more or less saying they aren't nearly as strong and as frequent this time around. I do get the urge, for instance my boss left work at 4:00 this afternoon and the second the door closed, I really wanted one. So instead I sat down and started to write this.
6. I'm having a hard time with sleep. I'm so use to having a cigarette before going to bed, and now bedtime is the hardest for me. I'm just very restless before falling asleep, and once I do get to sleep I'm up nearly ever 2 or 3 hours. That was very un-expected. I just haven't found any tricks to it yet.
7. I'm not really that grouchy or pissy because of not smoking, it's because of the sleep. Last time I quit, I became very grouchy, but I didn't have the sleep problem last time. I know the only reason I'm being grouchy is because it's become very hard to get a good full nights sleep. Monday night I was unable to get to sleep until 3 in the morning, and I had to be to work by 7.
8. I haven't lashed out at anyone. That wasn't exactly a problem that I had last time, but I know it happened last time. I sniped at my boss last time, not my current boss, but the one at the bookstore. She wouldn't give me a break, and I said "Just because I'm not smoking anymore doesn't mean I don't want a break." She knew it was just the nicotine talking.
9. Some foods just taste better now. I use to hate popcorn. But now I'm okay with it. It doesn't taste bad like it did before.
This time I'm more driven to quit smoking. I know that I need to do it. I've had several people say "they're proud of me" well, that's nice and all, but that's not why I'm doing it. And they can be proud of me if they wish, but I'd prefer they kept that to themselves. Smoking was a very selfish act. I was doing it not only because it made me feel good, and it did make me feel very good, but I was doing it to separate myself in a way. Sometimes, when things got a little to real, I'd excuse myself and go have a cigarette, thus making some people not want to be around me. Now I'll probably be more likely to go for a walk to separate myself. Quitting is also a very selfish act, in my mind; I'm doing this to rid my body of the chemicals that were in tobacco, to save money that I can use to move away. I'm doing this to make MY quality of life better. Although I'm certain that one day I will die of cancer.