People turn

[j_a_lord]

And they turn at unexpected times. Turning to grow and turning to revert back to previous ways - turning and turning the world with them. It's not just a change; it's a complete about-face: an abandoning of the "old" and heading for the "new" (not that the "new" is the "improved"). And one doesn't realize while they're turning that they're turning other things too, and with the forgotten responsibility is the forgotten life. I've watched people turn; some turn on me; and I've realized that the only thing one can do is try to turn yourself to influence them. Turning people; turning, turning, raping, stealing, beating, killing. There's good stuff too, though, but the good stuff never overshadows the bad.

Now it's happening to me. I turn and I rage and I can't keep my anger in. I fall to pieces at night and wake to the drone of slavery that _I_ put myself through. I can barely hold my tongue while I want to yell at passersby. I'm a crutch; I'm a blackness in this world; and if I can't control this new demonic nature that I now possess, who can?