Even ghosts get homesick
I never felt homesick, not until the moment I went back...
"Where are you going?" I hear them calling, but I don't reply. I can barely hear the sound of my name over the crunch of the leaves below my feet. I feel the wind blowing my freshly cut hair into a tangly mess as I walk deeper into the woods. With one deep breath the memories of a lifetime waft back with the smell of my childhood.
It seemed a lifetime ago I'd left this place. The one place I'd ever really been able to be me, the one place where I was loved and accepted just as I was. The beauty of the nature around me was almost painful.
As I came to a clearing, overlooking the river, I fell to the ground. The smashing sound of the fall beneath me was the most comforting sound I'd heard since the day I'd turned my back.
Closing my eyes I could almost hear their long lost voices, the pounding of footsteps barreling through the fallen leaves. Bringing with them first true smile I'd had in what seemd to be ages.
His hand set upon my shoulder, and his voice whispered in my ear that everything was working itself out. His smell was almost more heavenly than the beautiful autumn that surrounded me. He was magical, just as this place. As he slid onto the chilled earth beside me he slid his arm around my waist and pulled me close. There we sat, my head on his shoulder, breathing in his scent and listening to him breath.
His finger raised towards my cheek, wiped away a tear and gave me that smile. The smile that was worth a million words, the one that had reassured me so many years ago.
Upon opening my eyes I could not believe how real he'd felt. As though he'd been right there, as though I'd never left. The tears were flowing freely now, my face reddened by the beating of the wind. I lay back, no longer caring that the leaves were also getting tangled up in my mess of hair.
As my eyes drifted shut, I felt her lay beside me. Ear to ear, with her head resting perfectly next to my shoulder, and our feet pointing to seperate edges of the eart. This was how we'd always lay, dreaming of the handsome princes who would rescue us one day. Assuring each other that no matter where this journey of life would take us, we'd always have this place.
I heard her giggle, the most lively and lovely giggle on this wide earth. In her voice I could hear all that represented love and friendship. A pure soul, sent to this earth just for me.
I'd given up caring that my husband and our friends were over the hill. They had no idea what this place meant to me. Sure, to them it was a beautiful place for an autumn picnic. For me, the life I left behind. The life they could never understand. They were still calling my name, but as I lifted the weight of my head from the ground, I had no desire to answer.
Instead, I lazily wandered further down the trail, further away from the reality that I would eventually go back to face. When I came to a secluded area where a tree had recently fallen I saw him. He was setting upon the fallen log, his beautiful sandy hair blowing in the wind. His dimples shining just for me. He stood, a sight of perfection, and stretched his arms to me. I fell directly into them, and he wrapped all his strength around me. My head resting on his chest, as though our bodies were meant to fit together. I could feel his heart beating. I could feel each breath he took. I felt safe, comfortable.
With my tears, flowing more freely than ever I was snapped from my fantasy. The crunch of the fallen leaves again startled me. This time, there was no ghost of my memories, merely an angel posed as my best friend.
His arms too, outstretched. There was no hiding my tears, no hiding my pain. As I fell into his embrace, he whispered into my ear "I don't know what you're going through, but I know there is a man over that clearing who loves you with all he is able to. He may not understand either, none of us can. But please, try and share this beauty with us, try and make memories for us." I heard a shake in his voice, and looked up to see a tear in his eye.
As we walked, crunching with each step. I couldn't help but stop and look back, and amoungst the trees I could see three figures, watching over me.