(sadface)...*tear*
So Emory officially left me today. Not left me as in broke up with me, but instead just went up north to Sacramento. I miss him already. It sucks and i cried...and i am not usually emotional. Things are way different all around with this guy. I am completely comfortable with him, I tell almost everything that i am thinking, i dont withdraw, i cuddle with him ( i still cant regularly handle him breathing my air while we sleep) but that is because i hate feeling hot air on my face while i am trying to sleep, we laugh all the time, i told him that "i love him", i felt semi-ok when he came over to my house (i even ran out and kissed him when he got there), he says cheesy shit and it doesnt make me want to vomit, and most of all i can spend numerous days with him and never get sick or irritated. Its insane how fast all of this has happened. We only started talking in February, we became buddies in March, hung out finally in April and on April 19th he finally made his move (or according to him i kissed him vbut thats still a matter of debate). So technically only been about a month and a half and we are in love. I love him. Everything works for us. ANd i think a lot of the reason that i am so open with him is that i have always felt that i could just be myself around him because he was leaving for his trip and it wasnt suppossed to last. But now the whole thing has changed and he talks about our future (i am still not too comfortable talking about long term future). I have slept at his apartment pretty much everyday for the last month and now its weird that my bed is empty and he's not holding me so tight. he's not there to kiss whenever i feel like it. I have to do this over the phone thing with him for the next month and then internet thing until he returns in six months. I am not the best phone conversationalist and that makes me nervous.
What will happen in six months when he gets back though? It will be an awesome Christmas gift though. God i just want to hold his hand right now, how sappy is that? Damn i am turning into this sappy chick...eeewww.
He said that in the next six months i should get anything that i feel that i need to do done and over with because when he gets back it will be the real thing.
I cried when he left and then i got choked up again we he left the second time. Now he wants me to come up to Sacramento and the i'll have to say good-bye for the third time. It sucks each time, but he has to go on this trip. And if he actually does what he says it will be so impressive and amazing. I almost want to ask him to stay but i cant because it would be selfish and mean to do that to him and i dont want to be that girl. I love him way too much to do that to him.
This is all so crazy. I feel like i am in this whirlwind and almost think that its all ending and i will never see him again, He will get back and have forgotten all about me. Or maybe he wont come back at all because he will have found this great life in SOuth or Central AMerica
I just want to stop thinking about all of this and cherish what has happened....almost live in the past for just a little while.
What will happen in six months when he gets back though? It will be an awesome Christmas gift though. God i just want to hold his hand right now, how sappy is that? Damn i am turning into this sappy chick...eeewww.
He said that in the next six months i should get anything that i feel that i need to do done and over with because when he gets back it will be the real thing.
I cried when he left and then i got choked up again we he left the second time. Now he wants me to come up to Sacramento and the i'll have to say good-bye for the third time. It sucks each time, but he has to go on this trip. And if he actually does what he says it will be so impressive and amazing. I almost want to ask him to stay but i cant because it would be selfish and mean to do that to him and i dont want to be that girl. I love him way too much to do that to him.
This is all so crazy. I feel like i am in this whirlwind and almost think that its all ending and i will never see him again, He will get back and have forgotten all about me. Or maybe he wont come back at all because he will have found this great life in SOuth or Central AMerica
I just want to stop thinking about all of this and cherish what has happened....almost live in the past for just a little while.