WOOT
WOOT!
i guess im going to school tommorow after all but whatever cause life is going okay right now and thank god we are on the same page. would have been fucked anyways cause my dad would murder me, literally. i havent forged a note in quite some time so i think id be dead.
but i guess i was prepared to leave because i dont care anymore. im smart enough to know that i dont give a fuck about school, i can pass classes with my eyes closed and i dont HAVE to be there or even care that much. so i was prepared to leave. i realized today that all my life ive been going to school not because i wanted to learn, but because thats what everybody does. again, that going-through-the-motions thing pops up. and im 80 percent sure that im going to college, but not to learn. just to do something with my time, live life a little.
but anyways you have no idea how good i feel right now. i mean, a wieght has been lifted off of my shoulders, a wieght that ive lived with for almost 17 years. ive always been afraid to tell people how i feel, as far as i can remember. it doesnt matter who or what or where, ive never been very good at that, and because of this simple fact ive always felt like a lesser person. and its true, because i was. i let people float by without ever letting anybody know what i REALLY thought. i guess i had to break the habit before it was too late, plus i wouldnt be able to forgive myself this time. i think this whole thing is the reason i got into music anyways, to find some other way to express myself. but life goes in circles and here i am today, rebuilding myself into someone i would hopefully have looked up to if i were younger.
i guess im going to school tommorow after all but whatever cause life is going okay right now and thank god we are on the same page. would have been fucked anyways cause my dad would murder me, literally. i havent forged a note in quite some time so i think id be dead.
but i guess i was prepared to leave because i dont care anymore. im smart enough to know that i dont give a fuck about school, i can pass classes with my eyes closed and i dont HAVE to be there or even care that much. so i was prepared to leave. i realized today that all my life ive been going to school not because i wanted to learn, but because thats what everybody does. again, that going-through-the-motions thing pops up. and im 80 percent sure that im going to college, but not to learn. just to do something with my time, live life a little.
but anyways you have no idea how good i feel right now. i mean, a wieght has been lifted off of my shoulders, a wieght that ive lived with for almost 17 years. ive always been afraid to tell people how i feel, as far as i can remember. it doesnt matter who or what or where, ive never been very good at that, and because of this simple fact ive always felt like a lesser person. and its true, because i was. i let people float by without ever letting anybody know what i REALLY thought. i guess i had to break the habit before it was too late, plus i wouldnt be able to forgive myself this time. i think this whole thing is the reason i got into music anyways, to find some other way to express myself. but life goes in circles and here i am today, rebuilding myself into someone i would hopefully have looked up to if i were younger.