This city that you built can BURN....
As a parent, you want the best for your children. It doesn't matter how old your children are. The fact of the matter is that you are raising your kids to the best of your knowledge and ability. Maybe, that is my opinion.
It is obvious that my mom and I do not have a healthy mother-daughter relationship. I cannot stand being around her, for more than 10 minutes a day. She makes me depressed, cynical, and pessimistic.
Apparently, her concerns do not lie within finding us a place to live...but finding a place to store our furniture and belongings. I don't understand her. I don't think I will ever understand the way she is.
It has been 6 years since her boss'/ex-husband's death. She sold his business...bought a house she knew she could not afford. The car got repossessed. She was working 3 jobs to make up for her late fees/bills/loans/etc. Still, she does not think putting money down on the house was a bad decision. I do. I told her the first day I walked in the house that she would be unable to afford it. Did she listen? Of course not. When am I ever right, in her eyes? Never. She has yet to come to terms that she has made my life, her life, and Glenn's life hell, over the past 6 years.
Today, I thought I would be a reasonable person and fill out an apartment application. The application asked for the current location, landlord, and rent price.
Considering that the apartment would be in my name, I decided to list the present landlord and past landlords. My mom threw a shit fit because I put our current landlord down. I believe that if I am filling out this application, I should be honest and accurate. I do not want to make a bad first impression by lying to (hopefully) our future landlord. She said that I would never get the apartment because Fonda (landlord) has something against my mother. I told my mom straight up that I was not the one careless with rent money.
I was not the one who did not bother keeping track of monthly payment and expenses. I was not the one who put the apartment in my name and had to go to court to confirm the eviction. Fonda does not know me, personally; however, if I am living under my mom's roof, then I consider myself to be a tenent of Fonda. She (Fonda) would not be so quick to judge me because I am not the one whose name was on the rent contract. She would not be so quick to judge me because I am not the one who promised to pay the past month's rent as well as the current months rent and failed. She would not be so quick to judge me because I am not the one who had to appear in court, at 8:30am yesterday morning to confirm the eviction.
I really do not fucking care anymore. I am sick of caring about my family. I am sick of worrying each night about finding a place to live. I am sick of being viewed as a failure in my mom's eyes. My mom fucking knew that if I filled out the application that I would be required and expected to put down my current place of residence, current landlord, current rent prices...even if I am a first time "home/apartment buyer."
I wish my mom would get over herself, act her age, and admit that she has made her fair share of mistakes, instead of telling me to "shut the fuck up," "you're not making matters better," or "it is not my fault, that happened a long time ago."
Right now, I am numb. This event has definitely ruined a good day. I hate when good days have to end shitty.
There is a reason why I am going through so many obstacles. I am trying to figure out the purpose. I feel as if I am close to figuring out the answer, but I am unsure.
It is obvious that my mom and I do not have a healthy mother-daughter relationship. I cannot stand being around her, for more than 10 minutes a day. She makes me depressed, cynical, and pessimistic.
Apparently, her concerns do not lie within finding us a place to live...but finding a place to store our furniture and belongings. I don't understand her. I don't think I will ever understand the way she is.
It has been 6 years since her boss'/ex-husband's death. She sold his business...bought a house she knew she could not afford. The car got repossessed. She was working 3 jobs to make up for her late fees/bills/loans/etc. Still, she does not think putting money down on the house was a bad decision. I do. I told her the first day I walked in the house that she would be unable to afford it. Did she listen? Of course not. When am I ever right, in her eyes? Never. She has yet to come to terms that she has made my life, her life, and Glenn's life hell, over the past 6 years.
Today, I thought I would be a reasonable person and fill out an apartment application. The application asked for the current location, landlord, and rent price.
Considering that the apartment would be in my name, I decided to list the present landlord and past landlords. My mom threw a shit fit because I put our current landlord down. I believe that if I am filling out this application, I should be honest and accurate. I do not want to make a bad first impression by lying to (hopefully) our future landlord. She said that I would never get the apartment because Fonda (landlord) has something against my mother. I told my mom straight up that I was not the one careless with rent money.
I was not the one who did not bother keeping track of monthly payment and expenses. I was not the one who put the apartment in my name and had to go to court to confirm the eviction. Fonda does not know me, personally; however, if I am living under my mom's roof, then I consider myself to be a tenent of Fonda. She (Fonda) would not be so quick to judge me because I am not the one whose name was on the rent contract. She would not be so quick to judge me because I am not the one who promised to pay the past month's rent as well as the current months rent and failed. She would not be so quick to judge me because I am not the one who had to appear in court, at 8:30am yesterday morning to confirm the eviction.
I really do not fucking care anymore. I am sick of caring about my family. I am sick of worrying each night about finding a place to live. I am sick of being viewed as a failure in my mom's eyes. My mom fucking knew that if I filled out the application that I would be required and expected to put down my current place of residence, current landlord, current rent prices...even if I am a first time "home/apartment buyer."
I wish my mom would get over herself, act her age, and admit that she has made her fair share of mistakes, instead of telling me to "shut the fuck up," "you're not making matters better," or "it is not my fault, that happened a long time ago."
Right now, I am numb. This event has definitely ruined a good day. I hate when good days have to end shitty.
There is a reason why I am going through so many obstacles. I am trying to figure out the purpose. I feel as if I am close to figuring out the answer, but I am unsure.