This Time Could Be What We've Both Been Searching For...
It's only one more day
Can you wait
My plane will be arriving shortly
Right there at the gate
I pray that you'll be waiting right there for me
This time could be what
We've both been searching for
Our whole lives waking up
And coming back for more
Leave your baggage behind
You won't need it tonight
Enjoy your flight
J-E-T (J-E-T)
You are so good for me (You are so good for me)
You are my jetstream lover
You're how I wanna be (Just how I wanna be baby)
J-E-T (J-E-T)
You are so good for me (You are so good for me)
You are my jetstream lover
You're how I wanna be (Just how I wanna be baby)
We're so high
I'm watching all the clouds stripped by below me
We should try
It's been so long since I made you cry
Long-Live-Love
I just can't get enough of you
I need that engines pushed
It's gonna take me home to you
J-E-T (J-E-T)
You are so good for me (You are so good for me)
You are my jetstream lover
You're how I wanna be (Just how I wanna be baby)
J-E-T (J-E-T)
You are so good for me (You are so good for me)
You are my jetstream lover
You're how I wanna be (Just how I wanna be baby)
You were meant to be
Home with me
J-E-T (J-E-T)
You are so good for me (You are so good for me)
You are my jetstream lover
You're how I wanna be (Just how I wanna be baby)
J-E-T (J-E-T)
You are so good for me (You are so good for me)
You are my jetstream lover
You're how I wanna be (Just how I wanna be baby)
You are so good for me (You are so good for me)
You are so good for me (Just how I wanna be baby)
But you're gone
But you're gone
Don't let it go
Don't let it go
If you don't try
If you don't try
How will you know
How will you know
Okay, so I don't really know what to say at this point, except that I think that things are getting better in my life. I hope they are, and I hope they continue to, and I am gonna put my best foot forward and finally make a fucking effort to make sure that they are and they keep it up. So, where to start? I dunno... I guess I'll go into why I am feeling the way that I am. I am not sure exactly what it is... perhaps the job. perhaps my friends. perhaps just some random happening that made me look at things a little differently. I don't really... let me just begin where the last entry left off.
Okay, so my job did give me next friday off... apparently my regular schedule is gonna be 3-11pm, Tuesdays and Fridays off, which I think is awesome. A lot of people are like, "But don't you want two days off in a row?" And my answer is no, I don't want two days off in a row. I mean, it'd be alright, too, but I kinda prefer to work a few days, have a day off, then work a couple more days. I dunno, I just prefer to have the week broken up. I mean, if I had weekends off, it'd prolly be different, but that is not a possibility in this business, cos' they really thrive on the weekends. I am really fine with my schedule, and I really kinda love my job. It is soooo simple. I get stressed out every once in a while, cos' I'll have stupid callers, or stupid people at the businesses I am answering for. Especially doctors. So many doctors are insane bitches! They are just mean for no reason... you make one silly tiny mistake, and they will scream at you for like ten minutes about it. Whatever, though, the good FAR outweighs the bad in this place. Time passes sooo quickly, it is simple work, the people are cool, I have fun there, and if I don't, oh well... I get paid well to sit on my ass. On the 4th of July I made double time to spend pretty much the entire day reading Star Magazine. That is ALL I did. There were really so few calls that I sat there reading that magazine from cover to cover. I learned sooo much, too. Did you notice that Hilary Duff had gotten veneers since her Lizzie McGuire days? I didn't, either. She is growing up sooo gorgeous. My hatred for Tom Cruise grew 3 sizes that day, too. I think this may actually have something to do with why I am feeling so much more positive lately.
My friend Alyson and I were talking the other day, about Tom Cruise, and how much I hate him. It is funny, really, because I have become like Lindsay Lohan's character in "Mean Girls." I spend 80% of my time talking about Tom Cruise and the other 20% hoping somebody else will bring him up so I can talk about him more. I REALLY HATE HIM!!! Anyway, Alyson and I decided that when I start feeling negatively towards the people that are actually in my life, I should just start talking about or thinking about or somehow focusing that negative energy towards Tom Cruise. I have really been working on shaking these negative feelings towards my friends. It's been going pretty well, too. Friday night I went out with Bree and Alyson. Just the three of us. That hasn't happened in a LONG time. It was actually really nice, and I had a lot of fun with them. So, later in the night when the three of us went to Shakespeares and met up with everybody else, it was just as good. Like, I didn't have those negative feelings towards them, so I didn't have those negative feelings toward the rest of them. It was really a cool night. The only thing that sucks is that Jenn wasn't there. She was really tired, and stayed home to sleep. I almost wonder if that isn't why things were so much more laid back and friendly that night. Like, I love Jenn. Jenn is like my best friend, along with my best friends back in CA. We have gotten that close, and I am very thankful to have her in my life... However, I do know that she has a tendency to be kinda negative about our friends. Like, I wonder if her negativity towards them didn't rub off on me. I dunno... but it was a good night, anyway. Bree was very sweet and kept talking about my birthday. When I met them at Borders she was buying me a card, which was cool. I also looked really cute on Friday night. I decided to do my hair and makeup up, just cos' I hadn't in a long time. It was fun.
So, Alyson and I have been talking a lot lately... well, not necessarily a lot, but a lot more than usual. I am starting to feel a lot closer to her, and that is very good. I have even given her the number to my work so she can try to get a job there, as well. I think that could be cool. I mean, it would give me somebody I actually know at work, and it would give her a job that pays a lot better and is a lot more laid back than Borders. I dunno. Anyway, Saturday night Jenn stayed home again, because of the hurricane and all, and Alyson said that she wasn't going, either, and I was honestly just way too tired, and didn't really wanna go out... so I stayed home. Funny thing is, Bree didn't call me at like 11:30 or midnight asking where the hell I was. I guess she has gotten used to us punking out. That makes me very sad. I think I am gonna give her a call tomorrow to see what she is up to. It has been a while since we have done the mid-week call thing. We used to do it a lot. I dunno... things have gotten so strange. I am just trying to repair them or learn to deal with them the way they are. I just know that they aren't their best right now. I also know that Bree and I could be very good friends for a long time, and Alyson and I could as well. We just have to deal with what we are dealing with now first.
The only one I still feel really weird about is Jenn. I wonder if she's not getting depressed again. She has had problems with depression in her past, and ever since the trip to Louisville she has been weird. She has honestly seemed down. In Louisville we were around her Dad, which has always been a soft spot for her, plus she had some issues with an ex while we were there, which kinda sucked. I dunno. Plus, I haven't been able to spend any time with her since then, with the job and all. So, tomorrow is all dedicated to Jenn. I am texting her early and telling her she must come over, and we will hang out and do whatever the hell she wants. Then Friday we are going to see Kelly Clarkson together, (ONLY 4 DAYS, I AM SOOOO EXCITED!!!) and I HAVE to take her out this weekend and do whatever the hell she feels like and pay for absolutely everything, since she spent a good month or so paying for everything we did. I dunno. I love Jenn more than most people. I think I really understand her on a deeper level, and she understands me better than most people I know. I dunno. It was funny, on Friday night when I went in to Borders alone, everyone kept asking me, "Hey, where's your other half?" "Where's your siamese twin?" etc etc etc. I never realised how much people have begun to associate us with one another. I dunno. I like it. It used to concern me, because she has kinda become known for stirring things up in our group, and I always worried that eventually people would begin turning to me for answers about that, but now I realise, so what if they do? All I have to say is "Go fuck yourself," or something along those lines, and the conversation will be over. I dunno... I just realise that now is definitely the time for me to step up and really be there for her, because she honestly seems like she needs somebody to, and who better than me, her best friend? OMG! I just thought of something! It's time for me to be her 21!!! I finally understand that song!... like, I did before, but not entirely, and now I do. I finally see! (btw, if you don't know what the hell I am talking about, look a few entries back in my journal, and you will see that as my featured song, it's called "Time To Be Your 21" by Alexz Johnson, and it is brilliant!)
Anyway, I dunno... things have gotten better, though, with Bree and Alyson, with my life, even with Amber and Victoria, who I, for a long time, was beginning to have absolutely no relationship or association with whatsoever. I am really glad, though, too, that all of this stuff seems to be on the mend. Now, I just have to focus on prolly the most important of all, Jenn, my best friend, (and of course, I mean along with Don, Amy and Mike.) I dunno... now I am just looking forward to Friday!!! Not only will it be the first time I will have money in god knows how long, but I will also be spending time with Jenn, having waaaaaaaay too much fun seeing KELLY FUCKING CLARKSON!!!! I cannot wait! Things just keep looking up!!!
Jason
P.S. Don't worry, I haven't gone crazy, I am still waiting for the day that they start looking down... I know it's around the corner. I AM still me, after all.