(no subject)
Yet again I've come to another conclusion, but I'm almost certain that this one is correct. That conclusion is that the reason I've been so depressed lately is that I'm both physicaly and spiritualy malnourished. My body is screaming at me to make a change and stop treating it like a toxic waste dump. I get so caught up in the banality of trying to survive that toxins build up in my body. I've got a ganglion cyst on my wrist the size of a marble. It flares up when ever I get stressed out due to my lymph nodes being backed up. I've got so many beautiful ideas that will never come to fruition if I continue in this state of mind. I've got a little bit of money, some of which is going to get me some sustenance. My current employment situation is interesting. I'm working with a temp agency, and I'm getting to learn new things. I get frustrated and bored working at a job where I'm not learning anything. Yesterday I learned how to install a door on a utility closet, and last week I learned how to strip floors. I've got a lot of making up to do when it comes to my work ethic, I never really took it seriously because up untill now I never had a job that challenged me. I'm looking to get into a landscaping crew this spring. Working outside would be ideal for me, because the thought of sitting behind a desk or standing in front of a cash register makes me want to club baby seals. I am well below the poverty line, but somehow I always seem to be able to come up with the things that I need. Being so poor also makes me realize how important it is to cultivate my spirituality, because I don't have a whole lot of material possesions to distract me. I'm fine with that. I don't want a whole lot of things, all I really want is lucidity. To be able to wake up knowing that I'm ready to face any challenges that may come my way. I've had my moments of clarity, but sometimes my thoughts get scrambled by the sub-harmonic cascade