(no subject)
I talked to Ingrid last night. Wasn't exactly how I expected it to go. I think we sort of made peace with each other and the past last night. Its a whole new territory for me, and I would suspect her as well. We've been at odds for so long. I just hope she takes to heart what I said last night, and doesn't get all confessional with the other kids. As far as they're concerned I just left, and they don't need to be upset with Ingrid or more upset with Daddy then they already are. We went back to my place and had some chinese and watch some movies, talked some more. It was weird but nice. India nearly had a coranary, almost decided not to go out just cause she thought she was hallucinating.
Also talked to Eric earlier in the week. We got a few things settled between us. I know he isn't trying to give me grey hair. And kharma up and shmucked him good on its own without me having to say much. Turns out the girl that he brought home New Years is actually his boss at the college. He was all freaking cause of the ethics. I just told him lifes too short, take the happiness where you can get it. He seemed a little shocked that I would advise him like that but its Sunnydale and the rules are different here. I ended up having dinner with him and Nick and we worked out a training schedule and stuff. I think all the kids are committed to learning what they gotta know to survive around here. I still need to talk to Irene, she'd definitely next on my list.
It's probably a good thing I'm starting to feel more comfortable about them being here. I was gonna go to LA yesterday and talk to Lilah. Get some things squared away. But I got a call from Angel. He has a job for me. Needs me to find a statue for him. Apparently Pan the God of Lust is loose in LA and they need this statue to trap him in. Have I mentioned how surreal this all is? Okay nevermind that hey THE God of Lust is walking about freely in LA. Cause that in itself is just too weird. But taking on a job for Angel is kinda weird too. But it means I gotta leave as soon as Travis calls back giving me a place to start looking for this statue.
Guess I need to stop avoiding Penn, and tell him I may have to go out of town for a bit. I didn't realize that I was avoiding him. I didn't mean to be avoiding him. I just...when we talked the last weekend, well I've been dwelling over some of the things he said. Its kind of like theres this huge pink elephant standing there but neither of us really want to acknowledge it. He's blaming himself for the kids being here in danger. That I won't leave because of him and that they wont leave cause of me. He also seems to think that I might be better off not here too, that I deserve the better life I want for for my brothers and sisters. I tried telling him it wasnt his fault they were here, that it was mine, and what the difference was between the kids staying and me staying. But he seems to think that some day I'll wake up wanting a better life. Whats worse is that he's been feeling this way for a while, since the apocalypse, but he believes I'm too stubborn to convince. Heh, if only he knew how close he came to actually convincing me.
I don't know I guess I thought, I guess I thought that Penn wanted me by his side, through the good stuff and the bad stuff. I didn't know he saw me as someone he needed to protect. I thought I held my own when it came to all this fighting the good fight stuff. And where I get him wanting me to be happy and for me to have a better life, I thought I was pretty happy here, with him. I thought he was too. I mean I fairly sure he loves me, that that hasn't changed. But if he thinks I could be happier somewhere else then I'm not sure if we're on the same page. I'm probably just overthinking this. I have been known to do that once in a while.
Also talked to Eric earlier in the week. We got a few things settled between us. I know he isn't trying to give me grey hair. And kharma up and shmucked him good on its own without me having to say much. Turns out the girl that he brought home New Years is actually his boss at the college. He was all freaking cause of the ethics. I just told him lifes too short, take the happiness where you can get it. He seemed a little shocked that I would advise him like that but its Sunnydale and the rules are different here. I ended up having dinner with him and Nick and we worked out a training schedule and stuff. I think all the kids are committed to learning what they gotta know to survive around here. I still need to talk to Irene, she'd definitely next on my list.
It's probably a good thing I'm starting to feel more comfortable about them being here. I was gonna go to LA yesterday and talk to Lilah. Get some things squared away. But I got a call from Angel. He has a job for me. Needs me to find a statue for him. Apparently Pan the God of Lust is loose in LA and they need this statue to trap him in. Have I mentioned how surreal this all is? Okay nevermind that hey THE God of Lust is walking about freely in LA. Cause that in itself is just too weird. But taking on a job for Angel is kinda weird too. But it means I gotta leave as soon as Travis calls back giving me a place to start looking for this statue.
Guess I need to stop avoiding Penn, and tell him I may have to go out of town for a bit. I didn't realize that I was avoiding him. I didn't mean to be avoiding him. I just...when we talked the last weekend, well I've been dwelling over some of the things he said. Its kind of like theres this huge pink elephant standing there but neither of us really want to acknowledge it. He's blaming himself for the kids being here in danger. That I won't leave because of him and that they wont leave cause of me. He also seems to think that I might be better off not here too, that I deserve the better life I want for for my brothers and sisters. I tried telling him it wasnt his fault they were here, that it was mine, and what the difference was between the kids staying and me staying. But he seems to think that some day I'll wake up wanting a better life. Whats worse is that he's been feeling this way for a while, since the apocalypse, but he believes I'm too stubborn to convince. Heh, if only he knew how close he came to actually convincing me.
I don't know I guess I thought, I guess I thought that Penn wanted me by his side, through the good stuff and the bad stuff. I didn't know he saw me as someone he needed to protect. I thought I held my own when it came to all this fighting the good fight stuff. And where I get him wanting me to be happy and for me to have a better life, I thought I was pretty happy here, with him. I thought he was too. I mean I fairly sure he loves me, that that hasn't changed. But if he thinks I could be happier somewhere else then I'm not sure if we're on the same page. I'm probably just overthinking this. I have been known to do that once in a while.