(no subject)
If the apocalypse taught me anything it would definitely be to never ask if things could possibly get worse. I know not to tempt fate, that kharma is a bitch. Hell I knew that long before the apocalypse, but that event being so fresh in my mind it should be a lesson I can't ever forget. But when I openned the door and saw the rest of my brothers and sisters staring at me from the other side I was stupid enough to ask myslf what else could possibly go wrong.
I think it was pretty much a train wreck after that. One of those things where you know know the outcomes gonna be brutal but you can't help but watch with horrified fascination as it all unfolds infront of you. Thats what it was exactly. And I'm not being, well anything. It's a damn mess and I'm hard pressed to figure out how to fix it.
They want to stay. Here in Sunnydale. On the mouth of hell and they want to stay. And I'm supposed to say hey sure why not. Hell no. Not that they listened to me. India didn't help, calling me a hypocrit. Yeah no shit I'm a hypocrit. I chose the life I live with open eyes. I knew the risks I was taking and felt they were acceptable. These guys just can't find out what kind of evils exist and jump to we're moving here cause...why? Eric and Nick think I need their protection. It doesn't work that way. They don't get to protect me. They get to be safe in Massachuesettes, where I left them. Not because I don't love them, or that I don't have this ache to draw them all near me and keep them forever that I have carried around for over 10 years. It's not about what I want, it's about whats best for them.
At least thats what I would have said, if they had let me talk. But they didn't. They all just ganged up on me and said they were moving here and that was it and I didn't have the strength of character to fight them. And frankly I have no idea how I can get them to leave now, they're so damn stubborn. And I really don't think they would understand if I tried to explain how I feel about this to them.
Who knows, we're all going down to Ralphs for New Years tonight. Maybe a night out in a demon bar will be enough to freak them out and get their asses back home where they belong.
I think it was pretty much a train wreck after that. One of those things where you know know the outcomes gonna be brutal but you can't help but watch with horrified fascination as it all unfolds infront of you. Thats what it was exactly. And I'm not being, well anything. It's a damn mess and I'm hard pressed to figure out how to fix it.
They want to stay. Here in Sunnydale. On the mouth of hell and they want to stay. And I'm supposed to say hey sure why not. Hell no. Not that they listened to me. India didn't help, calling me a hypocrit. Yeah no shit I'm a hypocrit. I chose the life I live with open eyes. I knew the risks I was taking and felt they were acceptable. These guys just can't find out what kind of evils exist and jump to we're moving here cause...why? Eric and Nick think I need their protection. It doesn't work that way. They don't get to protect me. They get to be safe in Massachuesettes, where I left them. Not because I don't love them, or that I don't have this ache to draw them all near me and keep them forever that I have carried around for over 10 years. It's not about what I want, it's about whats best for them.
At least thats what I would have said, if they had let me talk. But they didn't. They all just ganged up on me and said they were moving here and that was it and I didn't have the strength of character to fight them. And frankly I have no idea how I can get them to leave now, they're so damn stubborn. And I really don't think they would understand if I tried to explain how I feel about this to them.
Who knows, we're all going down to Ralphs for New Years tonight. Maybe a night out in a demon bar will be enough to freak them out and get their asses back home where they belong.