(no subject)
I am embraced by the depth of rumination. This thing, this though takes precedence in my mind, and keeps me focused. I am wrapped in this thought, and rumination is mine to use, to consider, to ponder. When a member becomes part of the out-group the entire dynamic is destabilized, the harmony, the unassuming nature of things is replaced with the disparity in the state of affairs. And in that disparity awaits our cohesion’s end. I can not help but consider that possibility, that the thing I value so greatly is about to change in a way I can not predict. It is that uncertainty that I fear. The fact is, the relationship has changed, and the conditions of it are different as the state of affairs changes. I am left with the fear, fear of what I do not know, but I can only guess the outcome. And I am taken to the guess, I have seen it before, but I can not be sure it will repeat, or if some new outcome will unfold. I ruminate now on this, and I know that I dwell on this issue, drawn by the other issue to this one. They seem to flow, one from the other, the momentum of one cascades the other into full thought. I really am afraid.