Music is strangely fitting...
So i just finished transferring all of the late night writing sessions ive had since late september onto my computer in microsoft word. Im pleased with this. I dont know why but i really really like them. theres nothing all that wonderful about them. they're mostly insane and depressing. I dont know why but they make me feel a way that i like. even though it isnt happy. theres a certain pride in them and a love for them. perhaps its their sincerity. the fact that every word in there was written from the heart. I meant every word i wrote, every single word, at the time that i wrote it. And as time goes by the words dont ring as true. but for the ones since september they do.
I think i want to transfer all the stuff from last spring when i wrote too but 95% of those words no longer ring true, at least they arent nearly as genuinely felt. And those are all very passionate words, written in a frenzy. a panic. Im not quite as proud of them though. i suppose when i am over all of this i wont be so proud of these things either. but i dunno. Perhaps its that stuff plus the fact that theres a good i dunno.. 25 pages written of stuff from spring that id have to type up. and maybe i dont want to deal with that, cause its a bit of work. *counts* Yeah... 25 pages almost exactly. so thats at least 13 pages single spaced on here. hmmm... maybe another day. ill see. i want to post some of what i wrote recently though, because i want it to be seen, i want people to know, but i dont because i think it might upset people unnecessarily. and thats no fun. *sighs* i dunno. maybe some day. when im brave enough. and i know more where things stand. hm. actually theres one part i want to post it would hurt no one and i want someone to read it. so maybe. maybe. maybe just that part. for their christmas present. yeah. that sounds about right. Alright. im going .. away. probly not to bed. i dont want to sleep right now. Call me, i miss you. i love you. Goodnight.
~Suzi
I think i want to transfer all the stuff from last spring when i wrote too but 95% of those words no longer ring true, at least they arent nearly as genuinely felt. And those are all very passionate words, written in a frenzy. a panic. Im not quite as proud of them though. i suppose when i am over all of this i wont be so proud of these things either. but i dunno. Perhaps its that stuff plus the fact that theres a good i dunno.. 25 pages written of stuff from spring that id have to type up. and maybe i dont want to deal with that, cause its a bit of work. *counts* Yeah... 25 pages almost exactly. so thats at least 13 pages single spaced on here. hmmm... maybe another day. ill see. i want to post some of what i wrote recently though, because i want it to be seen, i want people to know, but i dont because i think it might upset people unnecessarily. and thats no fun. *sighs* i dunno. maybe some day. when im brave enough. and i know more where things stand. hm. actually theres one part i want to post it would hurt no one and i want someone to read it. so maybe. maybe. maybe just that part. for their christmas present. yeah. that sounds about right. Alright. im going .. away. probly not to bed. i dont want to sleep right now. Call me, i miss you. i love you. Goodnight.
~Suzi