(no subject)
I wanna post a song/poemy thingy i wrote last night out of nowhere. but i get the feeling its a bit harsh and people will go all up in arms over it. it could hurt those that i love. I really wanna post it though. for some reason its just not enough to write or say something if it isn't heard or seen. i need to let people see it. it needs to be on display. Sort of like Asher Levs crucifixes. i might post it someday, someplace where people who know us wont read it but others will. and hopefully that will be enough. because on paper i'm mean. i'm not the sweet and gentle heart that everyone knows. The bad side of me has to come out somewhere. the brutally honest and angry part. the part that gets hurt but instead of just crying taking it like the me you know, gets pissed at its abusers and talks back. And i think its best to have it come out on paper where it will hurt people the least. I dunno. I'm rambling. nobody's gunna actually read this. whatever. i'm tired now...
On the up side i just remembered the title of that movie that i've forgotten for the past few months. the one i really wanted Kat, Gavin and Maggie to see cause it was strong and it felt. It's called Lost and Delirious. Its amazing. i love it. and its not as old as i'd thought. 2001. who'da think it? the 2 main characters seemed so much younger than they were. *shrugs* whatever, it's awesome and i really want it. Which reminds me. I now know what i want for christmas. i want the lost and delirious dvd, a transflash card and a receiver for my cell phone so i can turn it into an mp3 player. and that's it. all together it costs $100. which seems like a lot.. but its only three things, and if you think about it.. if i just got 10 people who gave a shit about me to give $10 each, i'd get everything i want. which would be pretty cool. but i'm being kinda selfish to say that. i dunno. it feels selfish. and it is. i'm grateful for what i have and whatever i get. but yeah. that is what i want. heh. Okay. ill stop now. i'm tired. i'm going to bed. night.
~Suze
On the up side i just remembered the title of that movie that i've forgotten for the past few months. the one i really wanted Kat, Gavin and Maggie to see cause it was strong and it felt. It's called Lost and Delirious. Its amazing. i love it. and its not as old as i'd thought. 2001. who'da think it? the 2 main characters seemed so much younger than they were. *shrugs* whatever, it's awesome and i really want it. Which reminds me. I now know what i want for christmas. i want the lost and delirious dvd, a transflash card and a receiver for my cell phone so i can turn it into an mp3 player. and that's it. all together it costs $100. which seems like a lot.. but its only three things, and if you think about it.. if i just got 10 people who gave a shit about me to give $10 each, i'd get everything i want. which would be pretty cool. but i'm being kinda selfish to say that. i dunno. it feels selfish. and it is. i'm grateful for what i have and whatever i get. but yeah. that is what i want. heh. Okay. ill stop now. i'm tired. i'm going to bed. night.
~Suze