Its either this or that way
huzzah, 5 am post...
I've been thinking. I get productive at the weirdest times. Impulses to write in the a.m., like presently. Or tearing through obfuscated code manuals to get programs to work around midnight.
But this needs to stop. I can't focus properly when I'm flipped to my intellectual whim at weird times. Sometimes those times don't work at all.
Bah...
In other areas... life moves on. Most of the news is either totally unbelievable or so drab that there's no point. I guess the big things are that one roomie is moving out, and we'll hopefully get another one soon. Almost done with my paper. After way to long on that. Grr... And... I'm not sick right now? Was a week ago. And the previous couple weeks to that. I hate being sick. It blows goats like no other.
I should go to bed. The reason I'm not of course is linked to my random bursts of activity. It might be the cause, I don't know. But at late hours like this, I can't help but realize that I'm very angry about something. I can't always put my finger on it though. I think it might be something, but it usually really isn't. And I also get into trouble when I try to do that as it often leads to negative thinking, which just makes the problem worse.
Video games aren't working any more to relieve stress. I need to get more physically active again. I can do that in a few weeks hopefully as the snow melts a little more and things are less yucky out. I hate just running or jogging. Walking, or hiking if people want to go when I actually can, is nice. Biking is usually where its at for me. Or dancing...
But about that... you see... there was this winter semi-formal recently... that was e-mailed about in the midst of when I was deathly ill. And then not after... The problem with that of course is... it had already passed into the lump of e-mails that I can look at if I care to later but probably won't. I recall in previous years that there was at least 2 information e-mails on the subject, one a few weeks before, and one a few days before. Grad students in many places, Dartmouth included, have trouble knowing what they're doing next hour, let alone next week. So this seems like an oversight.
Maybe I'm angry about that? Unlikely, though it is annoying.
There's the obvious thing for me to be angry about. I'm also kind of in weird zone for that. Very complex and sort of in a wait see mode before I think I can tackle it properly. Kick me if I try to wait forever though.
Maybe I am just angry at the cern people for making my life unnecessarily difficult by not including all the useful files and manuals with the software they provide that does amazing things yet for a few specific possibly highly useful things is totally murky about. Eh...
Oh, and the IDL people piss me off too. *shakes fist at them* Their software is highly workable... if the license file works. Which I should have... and... oh shit it doesn't matter. I can only bitch so long.
I've been thinking. I get productive at the weirdest times. Impulses to write in the a.m., like presently. Or tearing through obfuscated code manuals to get programs to work around midnight.
But this needs to stop. I can't focus properly when I'm flipped to my intellectual whim at weird times. Sometimes those times don't work at all.
Bah...
In other areas... life moves on. Most of the news is either totally unbelievable or so drab that there's no point. I guess the big things are that one roomie is moving out, and we'll hopefully get another one soon. Almost done with my paper. After way to long on that. Grr... And... I'm not sick right now? Was a week ago. And the previous couple weeks to that. I hate being sick. It blows goats like no other.
I should go to bed. The reason I'm not of course is linked to my random bursts of activity. It might be the cause, I don't know. But at late hours like this, I can't help but realize that I'm very angry about something. I can't always put my finger on it though. I think it might be something, but it usually really isn't. And I also get into trouble when I try to do that as it often leads to negative thinking, which just makes the problem worse.
Video games aren't working any more to relieve stress. I need to get more physically active again. I can do that in a few weeks hopefully as the snow melts a little more and things are less yucky out. I hate just running or jogging. Walking, or hiking if people want to go when I actually can, is nice. Biking is usually where its at for me. Or dancing...
But about that... you see... there was this winter semi-formal recently... that was e-mailed about in the midst of when I was deathly ill. And then not after... The problem with that of course is... it had already passed into the lump of e-mails that I can look at if I care to later but probably won't. I recall in previous years that there was at least 2 information e-mails on the subject, one a few weeks before, and one a few days before. Grad students in many places, Dartmouth included, have trouble knowing what they're doing next hour, let alone next week. So this seems like an oversight.
Maybe I'm angry about that? Unlikely, though it is annoying.
There's the obvious thing for me to be angry about. I'm also kind of in weird zone for that. Very complex and sort of in a wait see mode before I think I can tackle it properly. Kick me if I try to wait forever though.
Maybe I am just angry at the cern people for making my life unnecessarily difficult by not including all the useful files and manuals with the software they provide that does amazing things yet for a few specific possibly highly useful things is totally murky about. Eh...
Oh, and the IDL people piss me off too. *shakes fist at them* Their software is highly workable... if the license file works. Which I should have... and... oh shit it doesn't matter. I can only bitch so long.