Hail Xenu.
I went to NYC this weekend and I got an audit from a real live Scientologist at the subway station!
(audit = You hold a tin can in either hand via copper wire thats connected to a cheesy-ass plastic machine that reads your "stress levels")
She asked me if there I was anything stressing me out currently and I replied, "No, nothing really." This perplexed her and she pushed further and I still was like "Nah... Nothing is really bothering me." And her eye did this kinda twitch and she said with this condescending smile, "So you're perfect?!" And I smiled at her and said "I... I guess I am!" and laughed. She didn't laugh with me. She then proceeded to show me a copy of Dianetics and asked me if I'd ever heard of it and I played dumb and said "It's a self-help book right?"
(If you tell them right off that its Scientology or expose it as Scientology, they get really irritated. Scientology is the only religion I know that disguises what they are at first glance. In this case they disguise themselves as a "Free Stress Test")
She nodded and said, "Have you ever heard of L Ron Hubbard?" to which I responded, "Oh yeah! He's a science fiction writer right?" This pissed her off, and she replied with a sigh, "Yes he was, but he was also a genius on twenty other subjects as well." She asked me if there was anything about myself that I'd like to change and I responded, "Yeah, my nose is kinda big, I'd like it to be smaller." And I laughed again, she didn't even crack a smile. Seriously! These are the jokes folks!
I figured I had made my friends wait long enough and disrupted her routine long enough. I shook her hand, which she didnt want to do. and bid her goodbye.
The creepy thing about it though, was that she seemed so incredibly normal until I looked her in the eye. She had this incredibly cold stare and training to lure people into the web. There was nothing happening behind those eyes. Just robotic clicking.
For more information on Scientology type "South Park and Scientology" into Youtube. It's fascinating and fun!
(audit = You hold a tin can in either hand via copper wire thats connected to a cheesy-ass plastic machine that reads your "stress levels")
She asked me if there I was anything stressing me out currently and I replied, "No, nothing really." This perplexed her and she pushed further and I still was like "Nah... Nothing is really bothering me." And her eye did this kinda twitch and she said with this condescending smile, "So you're perfect?!" And I smiled at her and said "I... I guess I am!" and laughed. She didn't laugh with me. She then proceeded to show me a copy of Dianetics and asked me if I'd ever heard of it and I played dumb and said "It's a self-help book right?"
(If you tell them right off that its Scientology or expose it as Scientology, they get really irritated. Scientology is the only religion I know that disguises what they are at first glance. In this case they disguise themselves as a "Free Stress Test")
She nodded and said, "Have you ever heard of L Ron Hubbard?" to which I responded, "Oh yeah! He's a science fiction writer right?" This pissed her off, and she replied with a sigh, "Yes he was, but he was also a genius on twenty other subjects as well." She asked me if there was anything about myself that I'd like to change and I responded, "Yeah, my nose is kinda big, I'd like it to be smaller." And I laughed again, she didn't even crack a smile. Seriously! These are the jokes folks!
I figured I had made my friends wait long enough and disrupted her routine long enough. I shook her hand, which she didnt want to do. and bid her goodbye.
The creepy thing about it though, was that she seemed so incredibly normal until I looked her in the eye. She had this incredibly cold stare and training to lure people into the web. There was nothing happening behind those eyes. Just robotic clicking.
For more information on Scientology type "South Park and Scientology" into Youtube. It's fascinating and fun!