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[iyoko]

I haven't been online for a longass time. So I have millions of pages of friend's entries I haven't read yet. Somebody call me. Let's talk much.

I'm at Santa Barbara visiting Patrick right now.

By the way, I shaved my head. :G

Pictures will be up... once I get them from my friend's camera.

Comments

[elhyamslove]

And what, you don't have access to a phone or AIM at anytime other than those times? Do you have any idea how fucking hard it is to try to talk to you right now?! We barely talk now, and when we do, it's not pleasant. You erase me from your friends list, and you don't need to be a genius to know you blocked me on AIM.

I sent the text because I was finally drunk enough to get my inhibitions out of the way to text you. It's hard trying to send something like that while full-well knowing that the other person is pissed off at you.

And about the call on sunday night, sorry, because I forgot.

I'm trying to figure out what's going on, and you're just laying on insults like those retarded flamers in forums. Sorry if I should know what's going on, but you're not even talking to me.

I have ideas, but that's all I have to go on. If this is about my e-mail saying that I couldn't talk for awhile, sorry. But engineering killed my life, and my only free time was sunday and tuesday nights.. which I already told you.

If this is about me posting about other people, then sorry I didn't know how you felt. Although by how you're acting right now, I don't think this is it.

If this is about me being my annoying, egotistical, smart-aleck, criticizing self.. tough shit. That's who I am. You accepted that at one point.

If it's anything else, I honestly don't know.

You know what, I'm trying to stay friends here. If you want that to end, fine. Sleep well at night knowing that someone who thought you were one of their best friends tried thier best to make things better, only to have that friend ignore them without warning or explanation. I still care about you.. seriously. But if you're going to be an immature kid doing the "silent treatment," then call me when you grow up.

[iyoko]

Funny how you ask for me to grow up, when you were the one going to every person except me to find out the problem. I saw you a few days ago. Why didn't you say anything then? I don't return your calls because when I get a chance, it's in the middle of the fucking night and I need the sleep. I've never flat out ignored you on AIM. The few times you actually messaged me, it was with inane questions like "How are you today?" Cut the crap. You grow up.

I'm not the kind of person who keeps things to myself. I sure hope you didn't think this "silent treatment" was sudden. I've been telling you what's wrong all along. Did you think I was joking? Obviously you didn't think I was serious, because you continued to act like nothing was wrong when you did see me.

And you swear you're the only person with an activity that kills their life. I'm busy every minute of every day of the week. Do you think I sit at home and wait for a good time to contact you? I have my time mapped out until the middle of August already. Excuse me if I didn't make time for you to cry on my shoulder.

Stop trying to make this my fault. And leave my sister out of this. We are separate people, you know. So stop asking her about me.

[elhyamslove]

What are you talking about? I never asked her anything about you! Ever since you mentioned that "pulling a Jason" thing when I asked Kristi, I realized you were right about that. So I did my best not to ask anyone about what's going on after that. Tina was the one who asked me "is my sister still all grr at you?" and I answered her honestly. She even offered to tell me what was wrong, but I told her no, because I knew you'd be pissed off about that. She even said that if I asked you, you'd get mad. That didn't help too much. I told her that I want to figure this out, because it's between us, and no one else.

You know it's hard to talk to you in person, especially knowing that they're mad at you. And you saw me a few days ago when Norry was there! I got the feeling that if I mentioned anything about this then, you would've said something like "this isn't the time" because that's how it always ends up. And I might've said something if you were the one that called me.. but you weren't. It was always Norry asking me, so I got another feeling that it's because she wanted me there, but you didn't.

And it was sudden! You haven't been telling me what's wrong, just making subtle hints that I don't understand. You thought I thought you were joking? I don't even remember you telling me there was a problem.

I remember having an AIM conversation saying that we haven't talked in awhile. I said it was because you're busy, and you said "that too." So there's something else. What I don't know is what that other thing is. That's why I'm trying to figure this out now. If you think I'm trying to make this your fault, my bad. But everytime I ask you if you're busy, you don't even say "yes I am." You just ignore me. If you're busy, tell me you're busy, it doesn't take more than a second. At least I deserve that.

I continued to act like nothing was wrong because someone else was there too. Why make someone else feel all weird that we're arguing in front of them. Besides, you must've felt the same way because you didn't say anything either.

Could you just tell me exactly what's going on, other than "you're busy," because I know there's more than that. If it was just that, you'd say you're busy, and I'd say ok.

[iyoko]

I /am/ busy. I'm going to be in Ohio for a few days. I'm coming back Sunday night.

If you still desperately need to talk, call me after that. Tuesdays are still bad. So are Fridays and weekends.

[elhyamslove]

Ok.. thanks.