my 4omins getaway
Dear sky,
I cant believe im posting here more and more frequently. I told myself this space will only by needed when my heart cant take all the silent protests. I guess i was wrong. Today i went for my 4omins getaway agn, hoping to clear my brain out of my silly tot. To you, this 4omins getaway brings me more harm den good but i beg to differ. Everytime i go on a 4omins getaway, i force myself to feel better by the end i finished my run. In the midst of running, all my silly tots will drift across my brain agn, i cry at the tot of smth sad, i sprint at the tot of smth im so unwillingly to do, i try to forget. i force myself to feel better at the end of every run.
It might seem silly to you, but it has always worked. even if it doesnt work on a certain day, i lie to myself. nearing the finishing point, i tell myself, hey i feel better alr! at least my heart gets some comfort for the day. today i talked to my mom, and she said i was big enough to make decisions on my own, but wad i really felt like telling her was, "mom can you make the decision for me agn? like how youve been doing so all along...? i don tink i can cope wif tis haunting and disgusting feeling in my heart anymore.."
During the getaway, something funny came to my mind.. since you cant let go off me, will it help you if i let go of you first? i dono how i can make you do that, but im really hoping wad im intending to do will really work..
Sun
I cant believe im posting here more and more frequently. I told myself this space will only by needed when my heart cant take all the silent protests. I guess i was wrong. Today i went for my 4omins getaway agn, hoping to clear my brain out of my silly tot. To you, this 4omins getaway brings me more harm den good but i beg to differ. Everytime i go on a 4omins getaway, i force myself to feel better by the end i finished my run. In the midst of running, all my silly tots will drift across my brain agn, i cry at the tot of smth sad, i sprint at the tot of smth im so unwillingly to do, i try to forget. i force myself to feel better at the end of every run.
It might seem silly to you, but it has always worked. even if it doesnt work on a certain day, i lie to myself. nearing the finishing point, i tell myself, hey i feel better alr! at least my heart gets some comfort for the day. today i talked to my mom, and she said i was big enough to make decisions on my own, but wad i really felt like telling her was, "mom can you make the decision for me agn? like how youve been doing so all along...? i don tink i can cope wif tis haunting and disgusting feeling in my heart anymore.."
During the getaway, something funny came to my mind.. since you cant let go off me, will it help you if i let go of you first? i dono how i can make you do that, but im really hoping wad im intending to do will really work..
Sun